It Do Be Like That Sometimes

Rememer kids, the quickest way to anyone’s heart is through the 4th and 5th rib!!!

Always

Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends

Op change your fucking url

Professor X asks a girl, “what is your mutant power?”

Girl replies: “I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!”

She points up and says: “3 pulls”

Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.

Professor X: “Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power…”

Girl: “Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics”

Professor X, still standing: “Oh my god”

Oh no, I was fully aware. I just wanted to be helpful, so I didn’t care

You rescue many different animals not knowing they are mythical creatures. That weird bird you rescued a month ago was a Phoenix. Your dog? Cerberus. That fox you impulsely got was a kitsune. They also all agree to look over you.

...What incident?

Wow I wasn’t expecting to wake up and hear the big news that im STILL the coolest motherfucker in the North

I’m sorry, you what? I-

HOW?

As a teenager I was pretty unimpressed with adults giving each other tours of their homes and kitchens, but as an adult I now understand this is the equivalent of inviting your friends over to see all your toys and that’s chill actually

Yo, I want this

All the children born over the last year are going to grow up deeply and profoundly bored with hearing about how they were born during a global pandemic

This is just my friend group

found family but every member is from a different kind of found family dynamic

Because your silly little dance pleases us, jinglely goo.

*opens my 2nd set of teeth*

Gaud, I need pictures, and I need them now

men's clothes should be slutty again