Real Asfk I Was Sitting There With James, Blind Leading The Blind, Nodding My Head When He Said He Would

definitely don't read it and protect your peace. i absolutely loved choices and it makes sense that in a canon compliant world he somehow has to be able to move on from regulus. but ohmygod. the love they had was so magical and beautiful and seamless and then it crashed and then boom hes with lily. AND ITS ALL WRITTEN SO WELL THAT LIKE. THE WRITING WAS ON THE WALL BUT U ARE STILL FLABBERGASTED. I was clawing at my chest praying for death to just take me honestly.

One of my favourite things about Choices is how thoroughly interwoven jily and jegulus are. they're always present like a lingering shadow but I wish we had seen more of the time inbetween the end of jegulus and the start of Jily. The guilt James must have felt at moving on, despite everything that went down between him and Regulus. the fact that it was with LILY, who regulus always felt insecure about. And when I think about it too much my heart aches.

Because it was truly so insane. Like I think it hit him so hard. because he loved regulus, truly loved him. Regulus had him, unconditionally, with no strings or games, all of him. and all james wanted was for him to love him back more than he hated himself. more than he was scared. to try another path. to not give up. and he had SO much hope for them, that they would work. And in those moments with Regulus he just felt so full and so happy and then Regulus was gone and left this humongous hole in his life and the only person that can fill it is the very person Regulus was always scared was really meant for james.

twelve years of it, in azkaban.

i genuinely cant think about crimson rivers without feeling completely sick to my stomach and tearing up its like reflex it truly changed my life.

did i finish season 2 of arcane or did season 2 of arcane finish me. What the fuck did I just experience what the actual fuck

the fact that sirius never fucking knew. never found out is so painful. no one else in that house cared enough to do anything about it, but sirius would have. he would've done everything in his power to keep reg safe, he genuinely believes he DID do everything to keep reg safe while he was there. their relationship deteriorated right as reg started needing him most and sirius started believing he didn't need him at all.

choices lucius malfoy is my biggest enemy

the epilogue of choices paralleling the end of the song of achilles is so magical to me. two souls finding their way back together in the next life because this one wasn't ready for them. all the ways patrochilles parallels jegulus in choices is my favourite in general but the ending SPECIFICALLY. Knowing they're together out there is so important to me

“All the reminders of the boy he couldn’t save” I think it’d actually be less painful if someone just stabbed me in the chest

it makes me feel physically sick to think about actually

when regulus finally agreed to escape to the potters only to die in the cave before he could even go

Remus lupin realising there were all these other werewolves out there who never got the same opportunity he did. That he was truly the exception and it was because Albus planned to use him from the very beginning. Remus recognising he was instilled with this sense of debt towards dumbledore, Remus becoming disillusioned with Dumbledore and started seeing him for what he really was. Looking at the man they'd all followed in blind faith and wondered where the hell it got them and questioning if he was even worth following. Remus taking the job in POA not only because he needs the money, but because he wants to keep a closer eye, knowing that harry was under Dumbledore's care. Because he knew firsthand that at the end of the day Dumbledore's protection wasn't worth that much.

the thing is, jegulus makes perfect sense to me genuinely. And I understand the gripes that people have with it, so i'm going to try and outline my thought process. i could talk about how good of a ship this is for HOURS.

• Regulus and James would have constantly been in each other's orbit at Hogwarts. Think about it. They're both on the Hogwarts quidditch teams (regardless of if jenes was a seeker or chaser ik it's up for debate) we all know how serious James Potter took quidditch. they would've been marking each other in games, taking notes of tactics etcetc. Plus with Sirius being James' best friend he would've been even more acutely aware of Regulus, like come on. If nothing else, then because of the arguments the black brothers would get into at hogwarts. And the stories Sirius would tell him in their first few years at Hogwarts, because hello, before Sirius went to Hogwarts who was his closest ally? who did he survive an abusive home life with? REGULUS. so james knew of him, DEFINITELY was introduced to him on the hogwarts express during second year (before slyhtherin sorting).

• James being Sirius' best friend and ultimately in Regulus' eyes, the person who replaced him as Sirius' best friend. He would've resented him, because before him and Sirius fell apart, they were all each other had and SUDDENLY sirius has this other rock, this but that he admires so much. You're telling me he wouldn't be raging at being replaced? On high alert of awareness, not only for his brother that he was steadily losing but on his best friend who replaced him???? the tension?? hello?? And once they got to know each other and he has that "oh so this is what he saw in you. oh wow" Moment??

•James potter, sunshine reincarnate, who believed in others even when it came to his own detriment would 100% try to save regulus. Believe he could. A lot of people say this doesn't fit James' character because he "wouldn't lie to his friends" But I think you guys are putting him in a box. I think he's just as capable of keeping a secret as anyone else. Especially when he thinks it's for a bigger purpose.

•I love the idea of a love greater than Regulus' loyalties to his families being what inspired him to take the horcrux. Like The symmetry of both Black brothers being guided by James into the light?? That his love saves them both in different ways?? How is it not the perfect ship.

Enemies to lovers, grumpy x sunshine, regulus falling first but james falling harder, the COMPLICATED nature of it. how much of this is vindictiveness towards sirius and trying to take something away from him, of reclaiming and how much is just pure admiration for someone so good and selfless? How much is this about James' saviour complex? You anti jegulus people are not seeing the bigger picture.

ALSO HOW IS IT ANY DIFFERENT TO DRARRY??? Its the PERFECT foil to drarry. Because this truly is a world where history repeats itself. Pressured into the dark arts by his family's expectations but couldn't stomach pushing through when it actually came down to it? And his beautiful sunshine boyfriend who embodies the GOOD in the world despite everything. Give me 10 more of it right now.