Kid Eli Holding A Goat, A Picture Taken By His Mom In 1992.

Just to put a lot of my posts and beliefs about Light Yagami's character in one post (headcanons not included):

• He does not do anything for purely moral reasons. The reason he started killing criminals was because he was curious, and then afterward his "crusade" was built from panic and spite. He thought using the Death Note was going to kill him, so he decided to take everyone he considered a threat to society down with him—that way he would still be good. He would still be remembered. If he can't live, then criminals don't deserve to either. The weight loss and the insomnia shown in the manga, were more likely results of a fear of dying than moral stress.

• Then Light discovers he won't die. This negates part of the spite, but not the need for a moral justification to keep himself "good". He no longer needs to be a martyr, so instead he's chosen to become a God.

• During this week and half of time, Light goes from being a bored, lonely, listless teenager disgusted with the world because it's not how his father taught him it should be, disgusted because if he can manage perfection why can't the rest of the world—to a boy with a new friend and a new mission that gives him purpose. Something interesting. If the world can't be perfect on its own, he'll have to help it. The world needs his help, making him its "savior".

• In comes L. It is no longer about Kira, no longer about saving the world from itself, even if he might tell himself it is—it's about the game. Kira was a fun pastime, yes, but L has made things so much more interesting. (Light and Ryuk are actually wildly similar in several ways it's just not immediately obvious). This game is more fun, too, because this time he has an opponent—one not so nebulous as "the criminals of the world", who offered no challenge. Light is still justifying his actions through a lens of morality, because he has to, but they're beginning to run rather thin.

• Both the broadcast and the obvious taunts to L through changing Kira's killing methods supports the above. "You're too stupid, L. If you were just a little smarter, we could've had some fun." Drawing L in was to progress their game, not Kira's goals. If Light truly only cared about Kira's vision, Kira's new world, Kira's righteous justice; then he wouldn't have continued to play the game after the broadcast. There was no way for L to find him without Light drawing him in—the Death Note is literally the perfect murder weapon. Light knew this, he just ignored it because he wanted to play.

• In the same vein: Yotsuba Light doesn't know he's playing the game. He's forgotten that there even is a game, and so he sees L as someone who's been duped, who either isn't as intelligent as he's been made out to seem, or someone who's being purposefully cruel just because he can. Either way, to Yotsuba Light, L's threat level has only increased, because Light no longer has any sort of weapon to go against him with. He can't even wield his own innocence against him, because his innocence is not certain. Even to himself. Yotsuba Light knows that he has to play along with L's plays of friendship and morality in order to secure his freedom, but he does not respect L or like him. At least, not until near the end, where they're closing in on Higuchi. Where his freedom seems closer....and yet he sees his own, true innocence as more tenuous than ever. Notably, even when Light feels positively towards L there, he still does not share his suspicions about himself with him. His own life still takes precedence over any sort of justice or morality he might have, because Yotsuba Light is still Light. And Light will always put his own self-interests first.

• After killing L, something interesting happens. Because the game ends, but Kira is still left. And Light was willing to take risks and make wild plans in his game with L, but Kira's goals always, always came after his own life. And when only Kira's goals are left, Light stops taking those big, potentially lethal risks. (i.e. bomb desk trap, killing Raye Penber in person by handing him pages of the Death Note, killing Naomi Misora in person right in front of the police station, writing Higuchi's name while sitting right beside L with the murder weapon literally in his hand, etc. etc.). Winning the game was worth dying for—Kira's ideals are not. Or, to put it even more simply: His pride is worth dying for, but his morals are not. Five years after his victory against L, he's presented with another game, but instead of feeling fearful and excited as he did with L, Light is angry. Arrogant and angry. Because this isn't a game to these opponents, as it was to L—they're playing against each other, and Light is merely a piece in it. This game is not like his game with L; it's more like his "game" with the criminals of the world. One with no true challenge, just another defense of Kira's world—worth winning, but not worth dying for.

• Light's pride is more important to him than anything. He needs to be able to take pride in himself and his actions. Pride comes before everything else, before Kira, before family, before L, even before his own desires and physical health. He does not enjoy killing—he just turned it into something he could be proud of. Into another mastering of craft. Light is not particularly sadistic, he's just spiteful. He'll only take pleasure in someone's suffering if they make someone else suffer first, especially if that someone is him. Attacking his pride would count as making him suffer, because that's the most important thing in the world to him. Even though Light also values his life incredibly highly, attempting to kill him wouldn't invoke as much hell-hot wrath as attempting to humiliate him would. And Light will always get even. Always. He does not forgive and forget.

• He believes every lie he tells himself. Every. Lie. He is a Good Man. He is Good Son. He is a Savior. He is Better. He is NOT Evil, he is Good. He's incredibly adept at not only fooling other people, but fooling himself. Even if he's vaguely aware of the truth, he'll take great pains to make sure that truth never comes to light—because it would crush him.

• Light does not take his own desires into account. If he likes or wants something that contradicts with the perfect image he's crafted, he purges it from his mind. Makes excuses for why he doesn't need it, or even convinces himself very thoroughly that he didn't even want it in the first place. If it's not something he can be proud of (or convince himself to be proud of), he doesn't allow himself to desire it.

• Light sees everyone as beneath him (family notwithstanding, Light loves his family deeply), and while it's a pyramid scale of how far beneath him they are, it's not actually ranked by things like gender, sexuality, race—it's ranked by morality and intelligence. The more intelligent and moral you are, the higher up you are on the scale. Light feeling hostile towards someone does not always mean he sees them as further down beneath him; with L and Misa specifically, it means that they're a threat. Light tends to only see people near the top of the intelligence pyramid as threats; evidenced by him dismissing Matsuda completely even with the knowledge that Matsuda was a marksmen, and yet him immediately setting out to kill Naomi when he found out she figured out one of Kira's secrets. With Takada and Mikami, he treats them exactly the same as each other because they're both on the same level of the scale—and he didn't hesitate to get rid of either of them. (Or try to get rid of, in Mikami's case). Everyone is either a tool, a threat, a criminal, a citizen, or family to him. People to use (tool, criminal), people to serve and/or placate (citizen, family), and people to eliminate (threat, criminal). Everyone falls into at least one of these categories for him.

• Light Yagami is a tragic character. And he's a tragic character because he refuses to believe he's part of a tragedy. He would rather swallow broken glass than be considered a victim of anything.

"You'd let me die. Wouldn't You?"

to be honest, I think fandom exaggerating dream's analytical and intelligent abilities dream's plan is literally so stupid, like, many refer to it as "ignoring feelings for the sake of strict calculation, the end justifies the means blah blah blah a smart, logical plan that will nevertheless lead to psychological dissatisfaction", but the plan is literally the most ill-conceived thing I ever heard, like, that's not even a plan?? they're testing the revival book in hopes that one day it will somehow help them achieve immortality and restart the server - that's just ridiculous and I also have no idea how dream expects that restarting the server will solve his/their/servers problems, like how is that supposed to work? and this “if we are immortal, no one will have to suffer and we can live forever and know and blah blah blah” such naive crap, honestly I could ask a thousand probing questions or give a thousand reasons why this plan wouldn't work in any reality, and I doubt dream wouldn't have asked these questions in the months they've been running their tests; the plan is literally just his feelings: afraid to die → need immortality, lost everything and it's killing me → need a restart and so on - there's no analysis behind this shit

I literally find it strange not the fact that punz allows this, although the plan harms dream, but the fact that he really believes in this plan and follows it, like, come on, punz is +- fine, there is no trauma that can overshadow his ability to think, why is he indulging in this stupid idea?

strongly agree / agree / ambivalent / disagree / strongly disagree / don’t care whatsoever

I think you're conflating a bunch of things. Dream's plan is not the same as his methodology. His methodology is not the same as his motivations. Having emotional reasons for a plan is not the same thing as that plan being stupid. "lost everything and it's killing me → need a restart" isn't a description of a stupid plan, that's a description of an over-emotional motivation for a plan. Just because you disagree with what his goal was trying to achieve doesn't mean that the strategies he took to achieve that goal were stupid.

Like, take staged finale as an example. I can argue that it's overkill or a poorly considered goal to imprison himself in dangerous circumstances chiefly to achieve a) protecting his close ally b) getting the server off his back and c) getting a sick base. But I won't claim that the steps he took to set up and execute staged finale aren't evidence of someone successfully using strategic thinking to accomplish his goals, which is generally what people are talking about when invoking strategist!Dream.

Dream expecting that his plan will fix his emotional problems isn't stupid in that it's a failure of logic. It's stupid in that it's a failure in identifying that his problems are actually emotional. Which gets covered pretty handily in the genuine finale! Tommy didn't say "your plan is stupid because you neglected to consider these reasons that curing death won't actually work." Instead, Tommy said, "your plan is stupid because you're failing to see that you're hurting people here and now and you could have the friends you want here and now if you just put down your damn book and make peace." which, I'm gonna be honest, also sounds a bit like naive crap to me.

Also, you're acting as if his plan is based simply on an unspecified fear of death when all signs point to it literally being a reaction to the existence of the revival book! Like, sure, when you phrase it like "hur dur maybe this magic book will fix my problems" it sounds pretty stupid. But what actually happened was more along the lines of "permadeath didn't exist on this server as a concept, now it does. revival didn't exist on this server as a concept, now it does. maybe one of these can be used to fix the other." Which is pretty damn straightforward to my eyes!

I really, truly don't see what the problem is with "plan fix death" when you literally have a necromancy book. (Like, logistically, not ethically or whatever.) It seems like the supernatural complications with the balance of life and death, whatever XD's deal is, the server reset, Foolish and the experiments upsetting the balance, all of that, came later (and lacks its conclusion for doylist reasons). but WHY the complaint that fixing death doesn't make sense????? that's like. thing numero uno when you have a damn revival book. sorry if I'm getting carried away but I've seen this argument before and it genuinely makes no sense to me. Reads the same to me as "if you have a hammer and some wood and nails why are you trying to build a table." maybe because I have the tools for the job?

Not to mention that even if we pretended that Dream's only motivation was trying to stop conflict, the plan "learn how to revive people" is still a really obvious solution! Make conflict not have permanent consequences? that's like. an easy mitigating solution.

Also, there's a more general conflation happening here between Dream's unwellness and a more general notion of stupidity. Which I also disagree with. His paranoid spiral led to him locking himself in a prison, but that doesn't mean it was stupid for him to conclude he needed protection, and that his allies needed protection.

The thing with Punz is a separate question, but it's one that I think Punz has answered handily himself: Punz wants knowledge and power, he says so outright, in simple language. He's not indulging a stupid idea: he's in cahoots with a guy who's brought him a ton of knowledge and power. The revive book is real, it's got real results, and it's shown Punz a glimpse of a world he clearly thinks is achievable: a world in which the supernatural shit has indeed been solved. And I don't see why you think he's silly to believe so, given the evidence he's seen with his own eyes.

Religious trauma, am I right?

Religious Imagery and Symbolism in Eli Ever:

Note : everything in this analysis was or could have been linked in a more generalized and not necessarily true theology, only as a way to try to associate or make connections with the mentioned character.

Baptism

His first death can be likened to a Baptism.

Baptism is a Christian sacrament of initiation and adoption, almost invariably with the use of water. It may be performed by sprinkling or pouring water on the head, or by immersing in water either partially or completely, traditionally three times, once for each person of the Trinity. 

" The baptized person emerges from a watery grave into a new life."

Baptism is a symbol of Christ’s burial and resurrection. The entrance into the water during baptism identifies Christians with Christ’s death on the cross, His burial in the tomb and His resurrection from the dead.

The parallel between Eli's first death and baptism is evident. Just as a baptized person emerges from a "water tomb" into a new life, Eli undergoes a transformation after his first death.

"signifies that "you" have died to your old self and sin, emerging as a new creation."

This means that, in the same way, Eli's death represents a passage into a new phase, where he leaves behind his previous "self", emerging as a new creation, almost like a rebirth.

“Going under the water was a burial of your old life; coming up out of it was a resurrection, God raising from the dead as he did Christ." Colossians 2:12-14

Furthermore, there is an evident connection between sin, death, and God's gift of eternal life. As mentioned next.

"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:23

Three

The Christian doctrine of the Trinity is the central doctrine concerning the nature of God in most Christian churches, which defines one God existing in three coequal, coeternal, consubstantial divine persons: God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

The Christian Church has celebrated the resurrection of Jesus Christ on a Sunday—three days after remembering his death on Good Friday. This timeline of three days is based on numerous references in the New Testament. Jesus predicted it many times, the three-day timeline matters to the biblical narrative because it is the special day on which God creates new life and activates his covenant with humanity.

three times he shot victor.

three years since they met.

three times he died ( manifesting he coming back and dying again)

" He met his gaze in the mirror and began to unbutton his shirt, exposing the scars from the bullets of Eli’s gun one by one. He ran his fingers over them, touching the three spots where he’d been shot the way a man might cross himself." Part One; Chapter XXVI , Vicious.

In the Bible, we can find more examples of the use of the number three as sacred or a persistent and symbolic repeating pattern, but I only mentioned these few situations that I found relevant or that fit the narrative of 'Vicious'.

Cross

The Cross, is the principal symbol of the Christian religion, recalling the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ and the redeeming benefits of his Passion and death. The cross is thus a sign both of Christ himself and of the faith of Christians. In ceremonial usage, making a sign of the cross may be, according to the context, an act of profession of faith, a prayer, a dedication, or a benediction.

"to outline the form of a cross as a Christian religious act by moving the hand from the forehead to the breast and then from one shoulder to the other, seen as representing the trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit."

The use of blood as part of a ritual is laden with symbolism.

"Wouldn’t You?” He cut deeper, through to bone, over and over, until the floor was red. Until he’d given his life to God a hundred times, and a hundred times had it given back. Until the fear and the doubt had all been bled out of him. And then he set the knife aside with shaking hands. Eli dipped his fingertips in the slick of red, crossed himself, and got back to his feet. "Part Two; Chapter IV, Vicious.

In the context of this specific text, Eli blessing himself with his own blood appears to represent a desperate quest for answers and validation from God regarding his identity and the powers he possesses.

This action can be seen as an extreme act of devotion and sacrifice. It may represent the intensity of Eli's search for a divine answer or for God's forgiveness. Making the sign of the cross with his own blood suggests that he is willing to sacrifice or suffer in search of a deeper spiritual connection or proof of divine will.

Blood, Red & White

"And by the law almost all things are made clean with blood, and without blood there is no forgiveness." Hebrews 9:22

In the Old Testament, animal sacrifices were a means of seeking forgiveness and reconciliation with God. The shedding of blood in these rituals symbolized the payment for sins.

The New Testament sees the shedding of Jesus' blood on the cross as the ultimate act of redemption. Christians believe that through His blood, believers are forgiven of their sins and reconciled with God.

And also associated with purification and cleansing.

As we know, Eli associates his murders with a distorted view of divine justice. He believes he is eliminating those people he considers unnatural or threats to society, as a purification, justifying his murders as a way of protecting the world from “villains” with extraordinary powers, this vision can be easily associated, by the way he thinks and acts throughout most of the narrative as a clear link to the Christian view of sacrifice and blood itself.

Red, associated with sacrifices, sin, power, sinfulness. can be conected with redemption and atonement. It represents the idea that through Christ's sacrifice, believers can be cleansed of their sins and find redemption, also linked to martyrdom. Martyrs who died for their faith are often depicted wearing red, symbolizing their willingness to shed their blood for their beliefs.

&

White, purity, innocence, righteousness. Associated with the idea of resurrection and new life in Christ. It signifies the hope of eternal life after death, it can also represents the state of being free from sin.

And for red and white, which are colors normally associated with the character as they continue to be described with him in the narrative or mainly associated with the vision that people have of him, with white clothes, gun and glasses being one of the easiest ways to identify him, we can see that both colors connect with sacrifice, martyrdom, purification and eternal life, which are elements present in the character and his narrative.

Name.

In the Villains series, the name theme remains, whether in a satirical way, a reference to comic books or just a way of demonstrating what a character represents.

Eliot means “The Lord is my God", “Jehovah is my God.”

With the meaning of his name I would like to close this brief summary that I tried to make about the symbolism that I could notice predominantly in the narrative of his character, from his name to the meaning of eternal life and the usual theme, we can see that Eli is a character strongly linked to religiosity and can be easily associated with various concepts of Christianity.

Final Note: Thank you if you read this far and I hope you enjoyed it.

Last Kiss

my this week’s reading

Syzygy (a Kludged Together remix) by Mizzy 

Summary: When Tony Stark cut Steve Rogers’ morning jog short to join him on a reconnaissance mission off the East Coast, Tony sure wasn’t expecting to end up stuck on a life raft in the middle of the ocean, Steve’s hand knuckle-deep in his chest.

13k+ words, arc reactor problem, steve & tony on an adventure together, all these cuteness.. 

The Butterfly Effect by itsallAvengers 💙

Summary: While fighting with Loki, Steve Rogers from 2012 hears the two simple words: “Bucky’s alive.”

And the whole universe ripples with the aftershocks.

20,5k words, endgame fix-it, stony in alternate reality 

Down in Lonesome Town by resurrectedhippo

Summary: “Why do I always find my way back to you?”

Maybe Tony didn’t necessarily return to Steve, but fate is a funny little thing, and after living a life of loss, Steve wants something that’s his to keep.

After the universe is restored, Steve is lost without any direction. Retiring from the Avengers, he moves across the country and ends up building a house by a misty blue lake. Across the bridge is Tony Stark’s new workshop.

79k words, post endgame, stony mending their relationship while living in countryside (so fights and anger are there) featuring morgan and peter! 

you’ll wait a long time by nanasekei

Summary:

Steve and Tony share a moment during a wedding. Things escalate from there.

-

Alternatively: Four weddings, a funeral, and one very emotionally stunted idiot.

16,5k words. post end-game but everybody lives (and getting married). steve being frustrating with his feelings lol, tony flirts 

Second Chance Lives by raeldaza 💙

Summary: Tony’s gonna die of palladium poisoning anyway, why not join a pointless expedition to recover Captain America’s body? And after, well, why not dedicate his last few months to making sure an American hero settles into his new life? What else is he going to do, get drunk at parties?

44k words, Iron Man 2 but stony, Tony found Steve on ice and took him in, 

Haste by Veldeia

Summary: With Captain America seriously injured and a bomb attached to the Quinjet, set to go off at any change in speed or altitude, this is not the best flight the Avengers have ever had.

7,5k words, avengers on mission, injured steve and self-sacrificing tony, SPOILER: gnidne yppah 

‘Til Death Do Us Part  by itsallAvengers

Summary: Steve goes on a mission. Steve dies on the mission. Or at least, SHIELD make everyone think he’s died on the mission. In reality, he’s alive and well, and still kicking ass.

If only someone had let his husband know that.

15,5k words, fake death so… angst for tony 

Unshattered by erde (orphan_account) 💙

Summary: It’s really a split of a second, but for a moment there both of them remain in silence staring at each other, and it’s a throwback to that moment in Siberia when a truce seemed more likely than shit hitting the fan.

Steve picks up the pieces from their relationship and tries to make them better. As the official tinker of things, Tony isn’t happy with Steve’s shoddy work. At first.

127k words in 19 chapters, civil war fix it continuing to IW and endgame, SPOILER: tony get shot,  gnidne yppah

Unveil My Unsightly Heart by Mizzy 💙

Summary: Looking over an old prototype helicarrier for its future viability as a base for the Avengers should have just been a routine day full of bickering and non-adventure for Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.

But when they’re catapulted into an alternate universe – where their alternate selves are married and battling with a mysterious threat – the two are forced to get over their differences in order to figure out what’s going on, before it’s too late.

Because there’s more going on than meets the eye, and Steve and Tony falling in love might just be the most dangerous thing that can happen. Not just for one universe, but for all of them… [Iron Man 3-compliant.]

43k words in 3 chapters, stony journeyed to alternate reality where they are VERY MUCH in love and married, angst but SPOILER  gnidne yppah

Lost in Transcription by Veldeia

Summary: In a world recently turned upside down by the discovery of genetic markers for soulmates, Steve and Tony struggle to come to grips with their unexpected, unasked-for match.

25k words, story spanning from steve in ww2 to civil war so.. a bit of civil war fix-it?, heartbroken tony 

For You, Sir, Always (The Fairy Godfather Remix) by Veldeia

Summary: Unable to find a replacement for the toxic palladium core of his arc reactor, Sir has gone into cryostasis to wait for a day when science has advanced enough to provide a solution. While he is indisposed, it is my all-important task to decide when that time has arrived, and to select the person who shall bring him back to life.

9,4k words, Jarvis POV, Jarvis being super loyal, steve is not captain america when stony met. 

Presenteeism by Veldeia

Summary: Tony thinks piloting the armor remotely while letting the others believe he’s wearing it is a good plan, until he realizes he’s not hung over, but actually quite ill.

Steve thinks something’s off with Tony today, but he has no clue what that might be, and since Tony says he’s good to go, they’ll proceed with the mission anyway.

(Basically, that trope where Tony is sick but is too stubborn to admit it, with a slight twist. Fill for my Stony bingo prompt “armor”.)

9,5k words in 2 chapters, it’s all in the summary. 

The human form, 'watcher' form, and the true form of grian. Very much inspired by this post by @mwapollo. Not too sure about the last one since it doesn't look remotely like grian. I wanted to try fractals and what not to make it seem even weirder, but I dont have that much skill. Imagining Mumbo interacting with my take on grian's true watcher form makes me giggle.

I think it's worth observing that Eli as a character had an established backstory and principles even before Victor while Victor's whole character and narrative predominantly revolves around Eli and going against him. Even during Lockland, he found a way to make himself the main focus of Eli's project, twist his thesis into their thesis. He forced himself onto Eli's narrative, made himself the main focus. While Eli's 'kill all EOs because they are an affront to God' was because of what he experienced with Victor and their falling out, he was still more independent a character in terms of purpose. And then there's Victor on the other hand whose whole purpose in the first book was to kill Eli. It's so fascinating and is also incredibly funny considering Victor is the main character.

To The People I Pass On The Train At Night - Jordan Bolton

My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is now available to pre-order! Get it here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky