Religious Trauma, Am I Right?

Last Kiss

“I’ll be right back.”

Stell caught his shoulder. “Where are you going?”

“To get you a gun.” Eli nodded at Marcella’s security, all dressed in trim black suits. “Haven’t you noticed? The guests may not be allowed to carry, but her men certainly are.”

Stell didn’t let go.

“At some point,” said Eli calmly, “you have to let out my leash.”

The director stared at him for a long, hard moment, and then his hand finally fell away. Eli turned and slipped through the crowd, trailing one of the security guards as they split off down a hall toward the bathroom. Eli followed him in, watched the guard vanish into a stall waited for another man at the sink to finish washing up and leave. Eli slid the bolt in the man’s wake, and approached the stall door.

It swung open, and Eli slammed his shoe into the guard’s chest, sent him reeling back into the wall. Eli caught him by the tie before he could fall, drew the guard’s holstered gun, and pressed it tight to his chest to muffle the shots.

Eli eased the body back onto the seat.

It had been a long time since he killed a human. But forgiveness would have to wait.

(Vengeful 471)

One of my favorite moments from Vengeful that is not talked about enough.

(Vengeful page 494)

(This is inspired by this edit: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C1XWjrMNmdZ/?igsh=NnA3NWl4ampydzg2 )

Reminder that I have this monstrosity: a document of significant c!Dream clips & sources (+ some DreamXD stuff, + Word of God), a lot of them with transcriptions attached. It isn't complete, but I do still continue to fill it from time to time, and if you think a clip ought to be in there and it isn't, feel free to send me an ask about it!

Google Docs

c!Dream Sources Doc

c!Dream Clips and Sources Document DOCUMENT OWNED BY @CALL-ME-APPLE ON TUMBLR, @CALL_ME_APPLE_ ON TWITTER. How to credit: If you use clips f

How jdj is the side story. I know that LHH is the protag there and most focus is probably on him and his companions. But I just wanted ask for your opinion?

consulted my wife friend about this list so that i wouldn't miss the important moments. a little heads up this post will have side story spoilers

when hsy opens the door at the end of chapter 551, kimcom are sent to a snowfield with two doors in it. in one of them theres a happy ending. kdj woke up and is waving at them. in the 2nd door, kdj didn't wake up. yjh was the first one to enter the 2nd door, Unnoticed by anyone might i add. he's the one who opens the door and says "if it was him, i knew he'd pull something like this"

when we get 49 kdj's pov at the end of season 1 of the side story there's a small scene of yjh bringing 49 food. the scene is not described with full details however we learn that 49 has forgotten most things about yjh, to the point he doesn't even rmbr if yjh has cooked rice for him before. yjh then says this line to him "You don't need to be anything. All that matters is what you want to be" next morning 49 decides to go to the 1865th regression turn in order to help kimcom get back 51.

yjh comes back from a second journey of searching for kdj fragments together with biyoo. he notices that hsy has failed to stop the 41st round, and ignoring lsh's warnings that he's too strong to descend into the 41st worldline bcs the probability will kill him and destroy the worldline immediately once he descends. he says that hsy and ysa need to create conditions for him to descend because "Kim Dokja is mine to bring back" kr fans have noticed that this sentence has two major tones to it. 1, possessive and 2, arrogant. "kdj is mine to bring back since you (hsy) couldn't"

season 3 of the side story has a lot of focus on dkos kdj. he's now lhh's sponsor and talks to him thru midday tryst. and he brings up yjh So Often that even lhh is bored/baffled. not to mention he refers to yjh with a lot of affectionate terms "joonghyuk-ah this, joonghyukie that" recently even selena kim and christina page were all "????" when kdj called yjh "joonghyukie" in front of them

in the beginning of season 3, yjh noticed a source of light enter the "curtain of the 41st worldline" (listen mtl is hard please bear with me) and he immediately slams himself into it, trying to follow after the light. seeing as the curtain is burning him and "grilling him like fish" jaehwan (aka the mc of the world after the fall) has to forcefully pull him back as he shouts "are you crazy" at yjh. spoiler alert, yes he is crazy

not exactly an explicit moment per se, but every time lhh incites himself as kdj or yjh his first thought will always be of the other

in order to subdue an overpowered 41yjh hsy decides to give him happy memories. those memories included a scene where yjh was cooking for kimcom and hsy described it as "yoo joonghyuk was dying from happiness." then the scene quickly puts kdj in the center where he comments about how good yjh's food tastes and that next time they come here (a picnic) they should bring more beef. she succeeds in subduing 41 even though he has never actually met kdj before. later on we learn that 41 also got the memory of the rooftop conversation between kdj and yjh. and like. dare i say. he really sounded a little jealous/sulky abt it. not to call him sp or anything..............

there's a small flashback of a (not written in orv) scene set during 1865th turn. it's about lost memories. yjh tells hsy that he forgets lots of memories whenever he regresses but it's okay because even if he forgets that guy (kdj) will remember them for him.

recent addition: ORV: yjh: you bought a useless skill (preserve humidity) / lsh: but dokja-ssi also has this skill / yjh: kdj has this skill?? *contemplates buying it* |||| SIDE STORY: lhh: this guy (kdj) actually purchased a useless item? (neck pillow) / kdj: but yjh also has this neck pillow / lhh: yjh has this pillow? *after learning its advantages thinks it's a good item* (also kr fans speculate that it was kdj himself the one who bought a neck pillow for yjh)

Hi, thank you for writing the atlas series I love the characters so much especially Callum and I just need to know that the “glimpse of platinum blond winked before the lens” is not accidental that you put it there you know it’s there please even if I breaks my heart I just need to know was it intentional or not. (I love you)

quick q: how would that be an accident

a couple snippets from a presentation i gave at school this past week on storyboarding!!

‼️DISCLAIMER: I am still a student and have only worked on student and indie projects! This is just stuff that I personally find helpful as an amateur, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt!

Happy boarding, friends! ✍️💕

Just to put a lot of my posts and beliefs about Light Yagami's character in one post (headcanons not included):

• He does not do anything for purely moral reasons. The reason he started killing criminals was because he was curious, and then afterward his "crusade" was built from panic and spite. He thought using the Death Note was going to kill him, so he decided to take everyone he considered a threat to society down with him—that way he would still be good. He would still be remembered. If he can't live, then criminals don't deserve to either. The weight loss and the insomnia shown in the manga, were more likely results of a fear of dying than moral stress.

• Then Light discovers he won't die. This negates part of the spite, but not the need for a moral justification to keep himself "good". He no longer needs to be a martyr, so instead he's chosen to become a God.

• During this week and half of time, Light goes from being a bored, lonely, listless teenager disgusted with the world because it's not how his father taught him it should be, disgusted because if he can manage perfection why can't the rest of the world—to a boy with a new friend and a new mission that gives him purpose. Something interesting. If the world can't be perfect on its own, he'll have to help it. The world needs his help, making him its "savior".

• In comes L. It is no longer about Kira, no longer about saving the world from itself, even if he might tell himself it is—it's about the game. Kira was a fun pastime, yes, but L has made things so much more interesting. (Light and Ryuk are actually wildly similar in several ways it's just not immediately obvious). This game is more fun, too, because this time he has an opponent—one not so nebulous as "the criminals of the world", who offered no challenge. Light is still justifying his actions through a lens of morality, because he has to, but they're beginning to run rather thin.

• Both the broadcast and the obvious taunts to L through changing Kira's killing methods supports the above. "You're too stupid, L. If you were just a little smarter, we could've had some fun." Drawing L in was to progress their game, not Kira's goals. If Light truly only cared about Kira's vision, Kira's new world, Kira's righteous justice; then he wouldn't have continued to play the game after the broadcast. There was no way for L to find him without Light drawing him in—the Death Note is literally the perfect murder weapon. Light knew this, he just ignored it because he wanted to play.

• In the same vein: Yotsuba Light doesn't know he's playing the game. He's forgotten that there even is a game, and so he sees L as someone who's been duped, who either isn't as intelligent as he's been made out to seem, or someone who's being purposefully cruel just because he can. Either way, to Yotsuba Light, L's threat level has only increased, because Light no longer has any sort of weapon to go against him with. He can't even wield his own innocence against him, because his innocence is not certain. Even to himself. Yotsuba Light knows that he has to play along with L's plays of friendship and morality in order to secure his freedom, but he does not respect L or like him. At least, not until near the end, where they're closing in on Higuchi. Where his freedom seems closer....and yet he sees his own, true innocence as more tenuous than ever. Notably, even when Light feels positively towards L there, he still does not share his suspicions about himself with him. His own life still takes precedence over any sort of justice or morality he might have, because Yotsuba Light is still Light. And Light will always put his own self-interests first.

• After killing L, something interesting happens. Because the game ends, but Kira is still left. And Light was willing to take risks and make wild plans in his game with L, but Kira's goals always, always came after his own life. And when only Kira's goals are left, Light stops taking those big, potentially lethal risks. (i.e. bomb desk trap, killing Raye Penber in person by handing him pages of the Death Note, killing Naomi Misora in person right in front of the police station, writing Higuchi's name while sitting right beside L with the murder weapon literally in his hand, etc. etc.). Winning the game was worth dying for—Kira's ideals are not. Or, to put it even more simply: His pride is worth dying for, but his morals are not. Five years after his victory against L, he's presented with another game, but instead of feeling fearful and excited as he did with L, Light is angry. Arrogant and angry. Because this isn't a game to these opponents, as it was to L—they're playing against each other, and Light is merely a piece in it. This game is not like his game with L; it's more like his "game" with the criminals of the world. One with no true challenge, just another defense of Kira's world—worth winning, but not worth dying for.

• Light's pride is more important to him than anything. He needs to be able to take pride in himself and his actions. Pride comes before everything else, before Kira, before family, before L, even before his own desires and physical health. He does not enjoy killing—he just turned it into something he could be proud of. Into another mastering of craft. Light is not particularly sadistic, he's just spiteful. He'll only take pleasure in someone's suffering if they make someone else suffer first, especially if that someone is him. Attacking his pride would count as making him suffer, because that's the most important thing in the world to him. Even though Light also values his life incredibly highly, attempting to kill him wouldn't invoke as much hell-hot wrath as attempting to humiliate him would. And Light will always get even. Always. He does not forgive and forget.

• He believes every lie he tells himself. Every. Lie. He is a Good Man. He is Good Son. He is a Savior. He is Better. He is NOT Evil, he is Good. He's incredibly adept at not only fooling other people, but fooling himself. Even if he's vaguely aware of the truth, he'll take great pains to make sure that truth never comes to light—because it would crush him.

• Light does not take his own desires into account. If he likes or wants something that contradicts with the perfect image he's crafted, he purges it from his mind. Makes excuses for why he doesn't need it, or even convinces himself very thoroughly that he didn't even want it in the first place. If it's not something he can be proud of (or convince himself to be proud of), he doesn't allow himself to desire it.

• Light sees everyone as beneath him (family notwithstanding, Light loves his family deeply), and while it's a pyramid scale of how far beneath him they are, it's not actually ranked by things like gender, sexuality, race—it's ranked by morality and intelligence. The more intelligent and moral you are, the higher up you are on the scale. Light feeling hostile towards someone does not always mean he sees them as further down beneath him; with L and Misa specifically, it means that they're a threat. Light tends to only see people near the top of the intelligence pyramid as threats; evidenced by him dismissing Matsuda completely even with the knowledge that Matsuda was a marksmen, and yet him immediately setting out to kill Naomi when he found out she figured out one of Kira's secrets. With Takada and Mikami, he treats them exactly the same as each other because they're both on the same level of the scale—and he didn't hesitate to get rid of either of them. (Or try to get rid of, in Mikami's case). Everyone is either a tool, a threat, a criminal, a citizen, or family to him. People to use (tool, criminal), people to serve and/or placate (citizen, family), and people to eliminate (threat, criminal). Everyone falls into at least one of these categories for him.

• Light Yagami is a tragic character. And he's a tragic character because he refuses to believe he's part of a tragedy. He would rather swallow broken glass than be considered a victim of anything.

He's so extra

Other versions and a bit of rambling under the cut

Untoned version

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I've been finding it so damn hard to draw Victor which is mainly why I draw more Eli than Victor. I think it's because I've got this image of him in my head which is hard to translate to paper. Blonds am I right?

Lockland evervale makes me go crazy