Now Every Time I Hear The Word "fool" I Go Into Cardiac Arrest. Thank You, Chapter 121.5

This reminded me that bsd season five was finished all the way back in Sept 2023 oh my GOD the nostalgia 😭

I can't wait until the manga finally gets to the scene where Akutagawa has to confess his love AHEM I mean where Akutagawa has to tell Atsushi why he saved him

Questions I need to be answered after the last episode:

Is Jouno okay?

Is Tachihara okay?

What is Dostoyevsky's ability?

Why did the vampire curse not work on Atsushi?

What has it been of Sigma?

What will it be of Gogol now?

What will it be of the Hunting Dogs now?

What was of Akutagawa's coat?

Is Akutagawa still terminally ill?

Who wrote the “help me” note?

Did the ada get the page? Are they going to use it?

Why didn't Akutagawa die after the vampire curse ended?

Shouldn't Bram be dead? He told Aya so himself?

What was the doa plan Atsushi was so torn about?

Explanation on the entire two hours later sequence, obviously.

Also questions I need to be answered after the last episode:

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

Did Akutagawa answer Atsushi on why he saved him?

I started a new sketchbook! (〜^ . ^)〜

(has anyone found a cure for bsd yet?)

I already did another poll (it ended) with different songs, the winning song was Fight or Flight by Conan Gray, and I wanted to make another due to the huge amount of songs that fit sskk! All these songs fit sskk at some point in their relationship or dynamic, but I wanna see which one people think is the best suited<3

Imagine you are Atsushi. You think you know a man. You think you see him for who he is- bleeding claws and all. You think that you are sure in his character and in his entirety. You think that after so many battles and so much death, there is nothing else for you to know.

You are wrong.

You think the two of you could not be more different or distant if you tried. You think that despite any change you may have brought, he is still someone you could never understand. You've come to terms with the idea that you both are simply two sides of the same coin.

You are wrong.

And it takes an unfeeling blade for you to finally learn how much so.

You learn that you only vaguely knew him- a shadow blurred across your vision. You learn his claws are not simply bloodied from pain caused but from pain given- from climbing a mountain insurmountable even to one as strong as him. You learn that you knew his surface but not his core- something no battle had ever taught you. There is so much you have yet to know.

So, you follow.

You learn the two of you are not so very different, the distance no more than a few steps. You learn that any change you brought in him was because, unknowingly, you were speaking a language that you didn't know he spoke right back. You learn that the hate that he held for you was born of a desire just as your own.

So, you follow.

And you learn that there was never a coin at all, just a mirror- a thing made of broken edges, bruised bones, and hateful words. And you learn there were never two sides, simply two caged and cornered animals staring back at the other- hearts bleeding and hands grasping.

Grasping for acknowledgment, for acceptance, for a reason, for permission, for someone to tell them they were finally enough.

You stare at the man in the mirror, a dark anger of a person- all sharp points and serrated defenses- and can see yourself in his eyes. Eyes that don't look at you the same way they used to.

You wonder: when he looks in this mirror, does he see the same?

You will simply have to ask him once you return.

Imagine you are Atsushi. You have seen the heart of a man. A man with whom you cannot accurately describe your relationship- no word seems precise enough nor powerful enough. You still don't fully understand him. He still confuses you, annoys you, and causes an itch you cannot seem to scratch.

But none of that matters because you have already decided he is worth sacrificing for. Becuase he is Ryuunosuke Akutagawa.

You have already made it to the door that- if done right -will guide you back to him, aided by the ghosts of his past and yours.

And so, you place your hands upon the entrance and push.

idk if anyone has done this already but

i offer you a chiikutagawa

Right now is such a great time to be a bsd fan. I feel like we're currently getting everything I've been wanting and more:

Sskk are facing a conflict that only they can handle. Not skk, not Ranpo and the ADA. Only Atsushi and Akutagawa can pull off a battle against Amenogozen

A ton of information about Atsushi's role, abilities as the bookmark, and even his hallucinations

Atsushi gaining a better understanding of Akutagawa through not only finding out about his past but witnessing his memories of it from his perspective

Dazai-Headmaster parallels for daaaays

Akutagawa has not coughed once

This is all the culmination of so much. Sskk will truly come out of this stronger than ever and I am so so hyped for it

The heartless cur, with heart ablaze

a sskk psychoanalitic canonical angst poem by yours truly!

Summary:

A question, rid of doubt, Met a spirit most devout. “Just the two of us?” he pondered, Yet conviction never faltered.

A poem from Knight Akutagawa's POV, a dive through his mind and heart during the events of chapter 119 onward, until the post-credits scene of S5.

Read on ao3, here clicky.

Or if you prefer here:

A knight reborn with purpose clear,

To rid the world of death and fear.

He strikes with newfound resolve,

For the sins of man to be absolved.

Until he hears a panicked voice,

Begging him to make a choice.

To save himself from slaughter

And protect his treasured daughter.

And his hand shall not be reckless,

If he wants to free the helpless.

But his prowess would be bested

By a creature most detested,

A mortal turned a god,

A truly wicked fraud.

In the vile vessel’s grasp,

With a faint and muted gasp,

He falls a pray to beast

Who’d relish in his feast

Of cursed souls, corrupt;

A pure world to construct.

A sudden slash would catch his eye,

The strangest phrase, perhaps a lie.

Till he’s pinned aghast in place

By an almost tender gaze.

Eyes that have entrapped the sunset,

Bearing not an inkling of regret.

Familiar words, a recognition

Of a far forgotten mission.

A sacrifice, his heart ablaze

For companion he couldn’t chase.

A scream tearing through space,

Through time and pain’s embrace.

A heartless cur.

Mind a blur.

In need to be stronger -

Mayhap no longer.

Trust. Sincerity.

Become a Singularity.

Shared affection, 

Mutual protection.

A feeling unnamed,

That couldn’t be tamed.

But now left fractured and torn,

For he just lost half his soul.

. . .

The fight was cruel, frightening, 

Enough to send him spiraling,

Grasping at the memory

Of a long forgotten enemy.

A shadow of the past,

That wasn’t meant to last.

But now a close companion

He wouldn’t dare abandon,

Not until his cursed lungs

Have sung their final verse. 

He swore he would protect him

From the fate forever grim - 

To be a weapon of destruction,

Devoid of human function.

The knight revealed his shield

Amidst the haunting barren field.

Soft-spoken words of reassurance,

To preserve his friend’s endurance.

A question, rid of doubt,

Met a spirit most devout.

“Just the two of us?” he pondered,

Yet conviction never faltered.

“Do we need any more?”

To win this godforsaken war.

They were bonded as a pair

In a world most unfair.

But through love unshaken, trust,

The devil shall be turned to dust.

Working on my Baba Yaga Lover House quilt (this is before basting the appliqués on)

My drawing of Botan (Thomas) from the Air we Breathe by @giftedecho, a Shin Soukoku fanfiction and it's on Ao3! It's such a great fanfic I'm so glad I could do art for it ❤️

Red (Sskk's Version)

A little sskk comic/manga redraws inspired by the song Red by Taylor Swift<33

The grey Atsushi is my favorite tbh idk I think his expression is really silly