Real Talk With Sskk Reunion, I Want Akutagawa To See Atsushi, His Eyes Widen, And Atsushi Awkwardly Tries

it’s “we need more ptsd rep!!!” until it’s atsushi nakajima.

i’ve seen so many takes where people have called his flashbacks annoying or repetitive and it makes me SO UPSET. it’s almost like he’s severely traumatized, what did you expect???

i personally think he and the portrayal of his trauma were written extremely well, considering ptsd can be a constant thing.

anyway i love atsushi and he deserves all the love and happiness in the world 😁

I'm rereading bungou stray dogs, and I noticed that when Dazai shoves Atsushi into Sugimoto, Atsushi accesses the tiger just enough to stabilize himself and pin Sugimoto to the ground. And he does so in a specific stance, one knee braced, one hand pinning Sugimoto's hands behind him.

His resolved pout, firm grip, and poised stance are very much unlike how he confronted Tanizaki during his entrance exam or how he reacted to Higuchi when she emptied a clip into Naomi.

But, I did recall another instance where Atsushi similarly pivoted into seemingly confident resolve— when he tried to shoot Akutagawa shortly after Akutagawa arrived on scene. He seemingly dives Akutagawa, only to grab the gun near Akutagawa's feet to shoot him. This is silly; Atsushi's tiger is most adept in close quarters, and Akutagawa has already shown that Rashoumon is a range weapon.

But, Atsushi hasn't yet learned to tap into his tiger's strengths, nor does he know how to fight— which means he doesn't know how to evaluate how Akutagawa is fighting either. So, he doesn't clock that Akutagawa is maintaining physical distance, that Rashoumon extends out, that Akutagawa is frail and coughing. Instead, he snatches a weapon, launches himself at a distance from Akutagawa because he's scared to stay too close, and shoots him.

And, despite not knowing how to fight, clearly having little clue as to how to approach Akutagawa— Atsushi has a resolved pout, a firm grip, a poised stance.

Atsushi has never shot a gun before, and each time we've seen him encounter a situation in which he's felt uncertain, he's fallen apart. Even when he's brave (like covering the "bomb" with his own body during his entrance exam), he trembles and screws his eyes tight or stares, frozen. What made him even think to go for the gun, having never shot one, and whose expression is on his face, if not his own?

Like, sure, in the moment before he acted he'd remembered Kunikida telling him he was part of the Agency, and to not besmirch their good name, but that explains why he became brave, not why he went for the gun, or looked so sure doing so— oh, wait!

I do recognize that resolved pout, firm grip, and poised stance, actually. From earlier in the same volume.

And, regarding the Sugimoto pin— Dazai knows that Atsushi will be fine, that he's built to grapple, and that he can regenerate if shot. It made sense to throw Atsushi, a tank, at Sugimoto because even though Atsushi doesn't know how to fight and is a bit of a coward, he can take damage as well as he deals it.

But Atsushi doesn't take the damage— not like he does later, when he learns to fight to his strengths. Instead, he accesses his tiger, not to take the hit or use his speed to escape, but to push Sugimoto into a pin that looks too polished for someone who's never pinned anyone before. But he has seen someone be pinned, and he's been pinned too. Quite recently, even.

Each time, one handedly. And so, when he's thrown into Sugimoto—

His expression isn't his own because he's not protecting himself— he's protecting others, and he can't rely on himself to do that yet. He's too weak, too cowardly, and too uncertain of how to be someone in the context of others yet.

That's where his tiger becomes useless. Atsushi's tiger is raw, single-minded force. Its sole preogative, the sole reason it exists, is to keep Atsushi alive. And it's kept Atsushi alive by barreling him forward, negating what would kill Atsushi so that he can tear forward no matter what comes for him. His tiger is starving, enormous, and seemingly indomitable because it's carved from Atsushi's basest desire to live.

But where the tiger keeps him alive, it doesn't make him brave or steadfast or purposeful. And it's certainly not something that knows how to protect other people. Because a desire to live is not the same as the will to live or a reason to live.

And before Atsushi could articulate a reason, before he could recognize that he could exert will over the tiger, he relied on Kunikida's instead.

Kunikida knows better than most that relying on one's desires (such as his desire for a good and ideal world) can be manipulated and countered. Fyodor attempted to do so during the Cannibalism arc, Jouno during the Hunting Dogs arc. But as Ranpo said, Kunikida is the noblest, strongest member of the Agency. It's evident when instead of choking on the perversion of his own intentions, he continues to act, to save the next person if he couldn't save the last. That's not raw or instinctual. It's discipline, motivation, and will.

This is why he's their heart, their wrangler, their compass, their sincerity, and the template for what they should do when they're overwhelmed by who they are or who they could become. Because good is not who you are, it's what you do.

Exactly! Atsushi's a hugger, so him hugging Akutagawa wouldn't even be a stretch

Especially since it would be relationship development from how Akutagawa used to say "don't touch me" to him

Also Atsushi doesn't just hug, he basically tackles, so considering the fact that Akutagawa would be tired af from fighting, if Atsushi did end up hugging him he would probably knock Akutagawa to the ground lol 😭

Yk, with the eventual sskk reunion, them hugging is 100% a real possiblity

Right after Ranpo and Poe kidnapped Kunikida from the hospital and brought him back, Atsushi literally leaped and hugged Kuni

I think he'd hug Akutagawa when he sees him again (or maybe vice versa if Akutagawa really is that emotional now)

Both sides of sskk can't even deny their feelings now, it's amazing development

If we ever do get blessed with a sskk hug in the future, I will have a heart attack from happiness

sskk reunion hug but now atsushi knows that by embracing akutagawa he's also embracing HIM

THIS IS AKUTAGAWA IN CHAPTER 121.5

you know a fic is good when it has this

shin soukoku are so imperfect and that is what makes them so good. what do you mean you hate this guy because he’s like looking in a mirror, but you can only see what you deemed as the flawed parts of yourself. what do you mean you are always putting up some kind of front around other people but you can show your enemy the worst and truest version of yourself. what do you mean you are so far into your rivalry that even dying for each other becomes a competition.

You could've been getting down to this sick beat!

atsushi—the one to finally understand akutagawa’s humanity. now seeing his backstory, witnessing the lowest moments of akutagawa’s life—when he was most dehumanized—through his own eyes. someone finally seeing them for what they truly were: tragedy, relentless abuse, the suffering of a wounded child. no more the image of a heartless beast. no more “this is what needed to happen.” no more “this was the only way akutagawa could have learned.”

as someone who has seen the depths of akutagawa’s heart, as someone who has brought change within him through trust, sincerity, and companionship. as someone who treasures akutagawa’s humanity and fights for it—begging him not to lose to himself, because now, atsushi equates akutagawa with that humanity. he would die before letting him surrender to its erosion—and he did sacrifice himself for it.

as someone who, when akutagawa fully reveals that deeply human side of himself, embraces it so completely that he replicates that moment in his own sacrifice.

and now, he watches as akutagawa’s humanity is torn down, again and again. but he is someone who understands—down to the depths of his heart—that akutagawa’s humanity is inherent. that no matter what anyone else, even the narrative itself, wants him to believe—nothing can take that away.

It's just all my current favorites on this list lol