Bro I Feel Him On Another Level. Just Boobies, And They Don't Even Have To Be Sexual, Like Just Something

". . . Well that's kinda a dumb rule" "I KNOW RIGHT?!" "So.... can I still come cause like..... I've watched a lot of cartoons as a kid so I wanna whack someone with a mallet. It's actually on my bucket list of questionable things I wanna do." "Your what now?"

You were summoned to a fantasy world. As you are eager to begin your new life as the hero, the summoner explains: "Actually, our party already has one. In fact, you're only here because we need a human member in order for us to be officially recognized as a hero's party."

I understand that bit, but what I don't understand is where you got the passum.

gently bap your passum

My cousins didn't come over today but I probably am the gay cousin since I'm bisexual.

if you don't have a gay cousin at your thanksgiving, I am your gay cousin for today. I'm wearing a croptop and I'm excited about cranberry sauce

Bro I saw this on pinterest a while back and the gifs I see on tumblr make this SO much better! It makes it a lil' sillies

So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

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Me:"What the actual fuck. WHY?!"

“You know how Holy Water is lethal to demons? Well, Hot Dog Water does the same thing to Angels.”

I love how most people voted on the second one. I would've as well but the voting already ended

Every fandom deserve a Hades x Persephone AU and it's RadioApple turn- If only I could make up my mind whICH ONES ARE WHICH- 🏃‍♂️

@ask-the-face-man

HAHAHA HOW WOULD LEO REACT TO SEEING A FIGURINE OF DONNIE LIKE THIS 💀

Please, he would pass out from oxygen deprivation-

THEN FUCKING READ FANFICTION CHROME!!! OR USE CHARACTER.AI AND MAKE THEM ACCURATE SO THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR ACTUALLY TALKING TO THE CHARACTER!!!

I MISS MY WIVES I MISS THEM I WANNA HUG THEM I WANT MY WIVES

"Roomie, why are you threatening me? I do you're fucking laundry because you can't do it for the life of you. Ge the gun out of my face or else you'll somehow explode your clothes when they're in the dryer"

Today you just found out your roommate with strange hobbies, like knowing how to pick a lock, knows how every puzzle and cipher by heart, or how to commit tax fraud, and so many other things, wasn't a guy with ADHD, he was an ex-assassin and now you have a gun pointed at your face

No no Angel.... let Niffty cook