He Framed You For His Crime

Me: All I asked was a bed time story! Not your dramatic past! The person telling me this: You get what you get and you don't get upset!

“When those armies came, they slaughtered the village and cornered me in my cottage. They said that they had me surrounded, but they didn’t seem to realise that the last thing you should let a necromancer have access to is fresh corpses.”

Me: *looks at Genie laws* Huh.... Okay looks like it's allowed. Master: I'm a lawyer Me: That explains it.

You are a genie. Predictably, your latest master uses their first wish to wish for infinite wishes, but you tell them you’re unable to give infinite wishes. What you didn’t expect was that they would instead use their first wish to wish that you were able to give infinite wishes.

@chromeeeeeeeeee

They can't contain their silliness

After this scene, I started to headcanon that eating hot rocks is something imps do often when upset or trying to comfort someone, and that the internal organs of imps and imp hybrids are fire proof because of this practice, which would help explain a bit why only Fizzarolli's limbs were burnt off and not his head and body

Can we just take a minute to comprehend that Blitz is eating hot rocks so he can cuddle his bf to warm him up for comfort?

heating pad lizard is canon wtf

Okay so who's gonna translate that for me?

hfbbbbbbbbbvn ,cmmmmdnsssssssssfkhbduvgtafuyifeouvadjkjbhjgisosvhadh

/neg

". . . YOU'RE WELCOME!" *runs to the right church*

You rush into a church to stop the love of your life from marrying the wrong person. Not paying attention you barge in yelling "I OBJECT" only to realize it's a funeral. The deceased immediately rises in perfect health. All eyes turn to you.

Demon: HA HA HAAA! Me: So he isn't angry

While reading over the demon’s contract, you realize it was riddled with typos. Notably, ‘soul’ was misspelled as ‘sole’. You thought the demon would be pissed when you handed him 100 pairs of shoes as payment, but he just started to laugh hysterically and clap.

BITCH I'M TOUCHING

“These specimens have been conditioned for contact. They’re safe. But if you see them in the wild, DO NOT approach. It’s very dangerous.” “Why? Are they aggressive?” “No, they’re extremely friendly and very playful. That’s why it’s dangerous.”

Villain: I have your child Father: Which one? Villain: Ummm... long brown hair and brown eyes. Chubby but not fat, mostly skinny but with chub. She's smiling at the floor for some reason. Father: Oh! That's my daughter Mikachu! Yeah you don't have her... she has you. HAVE FUN SWEEITE!

You were the only child that didn’t have powers in a family of metahumans. Today you got kidnapped by a supervillain… and none of your family came to the rescue.

also!!!!!! my discord is chroeme :33 spelled silly

OKAY THANK YOU!!!! I'LL SEND THE REQUEST NOW! GO TO DISCORD!!