Hey... That's A Good Deal. I'm Bisexual, I Love Hades From Greek Mythology Cause He's The Nicest Person.

Humans also are weird with Bananas too. One day I love it, the next I'm about to puke

One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.

Me: Cause I like fucking with people

You are stuck in a time loop, but you have no intention of ever breaking out of it. After literally millions of resets a new person appears in the loop and asks you why you are still in the loop.

Me: .... I got a demon in my house..... WAIT! I don't have a roomba! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!

You got a rug designed to look like an Ouija board as a gift. Liking it, you placed it in your living room. Now your roomba’s summoned a demon and it can’t leave until the roomba asks for something.

. . . I kinda want it to be Gyutaro from demon slayer NGL

You, a normal human, try out a dating app you've never heard of and soon find out it's a dating app for supernatural entities. Every date you go on, your date is always surprised you're not repulsed by their non-human features. But your latest date just can't believe you're not joking…

Mature my ass

“These specimens have been conditioned for contact. They’re safe. But if you see them in the wild, DO NOT approach. It’s very dangerous.” “Why? Are they aggressive?” “No, they’re extremely friendly and very playful. That’s why it’s dangerous.”

"My mom says we shouldn't wish for stuff, so what's the point really. Best to do things yourself! And yes I know I could wish for world peace but we don't know how long it'll last, and there are million other things I could wish for to help human kind, but we all need to work on our issues ourselves"

"I, the genie, offer you three wishes-" "I wish for you to be free." "You can onl- wait, what?"

Now I want there to be a big battle between dads. Or that all the shitty dads who are abusive to me killed

All of the “#1 Dad” mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.

... remind me not to cross you....

It's just a cat fish.

internet pro tip, you can go to ANY internet browser, type in "tiny kitty cat", then click on images. you gotta try it

Me:"Corruption in the order?" Them:"Yup" Me:"Can I quit?"

You, a Paladin, have been sent to hunt down a former member of your order, but you now have started to doubt. Your holy light flickers, barely a candle anymore, but theirs? It shines brighter than the sun.