I’m Tired I Can’t Do This Anymore

I think my bf secretly doesn’t like me

I’m so tired of men why can’t I just be friends with guys who don’t like me why do they always treat me like a sex object why do I keep getting harassed by them why do they pretend to be my friend for months just for them to confess they like me I’m tired of it I don’t like you or want you all I want is to be friends then my kindness turns to hate for them and then they blame me as if I did anything stop treating women like potential girlfriends I’ve had this problem done one me so many times It’s mentally exhausting then they get upset when I say I hate all men or I hate men like go fuck a man or something

maybe I am meant to be alone maybe I’m unlikable maybe I’m unlovable i don’t know anymore everyday I have to fight off delusions on wether people actually like me or not I have to fight off isolation

I just discovered twin tribes and I love their music so much

I prayed for her to protect a child her energy is so heavy, I’m so exhausted

can you relate?

I have this issue I don’t like when people are affectionate with me it just disgusts me I don’t know why I legit feel uncomfortable

I hate being a victim of sexual assault I struggle with stuff adults do all the time oh you feel sexy? I don’t you like to touch yourself sexually I can’t do it properly, I don’t feel comfortable touching myself and i genuinely get terrified when I think about having sex with my bf it’s annoying I hate him for molesting me and I hate my mother for seeing it and doing nothing, I can’t buy lingerie it makes me uncomfortable I don’t even like being naked in the shower I hate it I hate showing skin I hate when men call me sexy I used to think I was asexual but in reality I’m just still a traumatized child I hate my vagina I don’t like looking at it or touching it I wish I didn’t have one maybe if I didn’t have one I wouldn’t have been molested maybe if I didn’t have a vagina men wouldn’t sexualize me at all if I didn’t have a vagina I wouldn’t have low self esteem and struggle with confidence, I hate the way my vagina is shaped it’s small compared to other women and it doesn’t make me feel like a woman at all I feel like a child because mine isn’t as grown as theirs I tried to explain this to my therapist and she didn’t understand at the time I wish I was just born without a vagina I wouldn’t struggle so much with mental illness

songs that are relatable to people with schizotypal personality disorder

Ladytron- destroy everything you touch feeling a lack of empathy towards others and destroying your relationships with everyone you know 

Jack stauber- baby hotline wanting to seek professional help when your at your lowest, psychosis/anxiety 

Cristianmirror- the mind electric 4 demo - struggling with mental instability and not being able to tell reality from delusion

Balde and bath- Bloody sink I feel like think song relates to those who suffer in silence, with crippling anxiety and paranoia to the point they will have panic attacks in public 

Black Sabbath - paranoid obviously paranoia that an entity or a person is out to get you yet no one sees it but you

Marc Demarco- chamber of reflection this song could relate to the feeling of isolation and loneliness as people with schizotypal will often ghost or push people away due to paranoia that others will hurt them 

Cannibal corpse- hammer smashed face relates to those who actually killed or experience wanted to kill (not all people with stpd experience this though keep in mind)

Radiohead- creep a song about feeling isolated as you don’t fit in can relate to those who struggle to socialize as they are seen as awkward or eccentric 

I’m so tired of being scared to sleep I feel them watching me the entities