I Hate Being A Victim Of Sexual Assault I Struggle With Stuff Adults Do All The Time Oh You Feel Sexy?

I hate being a victim of sexual assault I struggle with stuff adults do all the time oh you feel sexy? I don’t you like to touch yourself sexually I can’t do it properly, I don’t feel comfortable touching myself and i genuinely get terrified when I think about having sex with my bf it’s annoying I hate him for molesting me and I hate my mother for seeing it and doing nothing, I can’t buy lingerie it makes me uncomfortable I don’t even like being naked in the shower I hate it I hate showing skin I hate when men call me sexy I used to think I was asexual but in reality I’m just still a traumatized child I hate my vagina I don’t like looking at it or touching it I wish I didn’t have one maybe if I didn’t have one I wouldn’t have been molested maybe if I didn’t have a vagina men wouldn’t sexualize me at all if I didn’t have a vagina I wouldn’t have low self esteem and struggle with confidence, I hate the way my vagina is shaped it’s small compared to other women and it doesn’t make me feel like a woman at all I feel like a child because mine isn’t as grown as theirs I tried to explain this to my therapist and she didn’t understand at the time I wish I was just born without a vagina I wouldn’t struggle so much with mental illness