"There must be satisfaction gained in accurately naming the thing that torments you."
-Miriam Toews
Just finished Women Talking (both the book by Miriam Toews and the movie by Sarah Polley) and I honestly don’t know how to describe it without using all caps. It’s probably the most clear-eyed thing I’ve ever seen about what it actually feels like to live in the aftermath of harassment. If you’ve ever felt like you were losing your mind trying to name something everyone else was fine ignoring I really highly recommend this rare artwork to you all.
"They're not harassing you. That’s just how they talk." Oh okay. I’ll just rewire my nervous system so it understands context.
Occasionally you may also just need to lick a 9V to jolt yourself out of the funk.
This is true no matter what. No matter
what you wear
how much money you make
where you work
or anything else
Train in vain, O. Winston
Being sexually harassed is less like you were running and tripped, and more like someone pushed you. Replaying everything you did or didn’t do doesn’t actually help you to prevent it from happening again.
“Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.” Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
Sometimes it’s not that you didn’t want the job.
It’s that you wanted it too much. And now you're floating down some corporate river. Toward the wrong end of The Waterfall (TM).
You worked too hard. Put up with too much. Got good at things you never thought you’d be good at. Found your rhythm. Found your people. Maybe even started to believe you belonged there.
And then it changed.
Or maybe it didn’t. Maybe it was always like this and you just finally let yourself admit that the cost was too high.
That staying meant watching someone else get away with it. That staying meant shrinking a little bit each day. That staying meant carrying your own silence like it was professionalism. Like it was maturity. Like it was strength.
But here’s the truth no one wants to put on a poster: Sometimes leaving is the only way to protect yourself.
And that doesn’t mean you failed. It doesn’t mean you weren’t strong enough. It means the place wasn’t safe enough.
And maybe that’s not the ending you deserved, but it’s not the end of your story either (the waterfall).
No babe, that’s dissociation. We all bring our talents to the table...
📂brain dump / digital diary / untangling the knots💭 words, art, memes, chaos, clarity—whatever helps🔓 navigating the barren landscape—pot holes, craters, aftermath🫀 we believe youSubmit anything.#sexualharassment
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