Store Worker : Would a “Dick” please come to the front desk?
Dick, arriving at the desk : Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker, pointing to Jason and Damian : I believe they belong to you?
Jason and Damian, simultaneously: We got lost.
Dick : I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—
Charlie : *running towards Dean with open arms*
Dean : *moves out of the way*
Charlie : Hey, why'd you move?!
Dean : I thought you were going to attack me?
Charlie : I was going to hug you??
Dean : Why would you hug me?
Charlie : WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
Jack : How do Sam and Dean usually get out of these messes?
Castiel : They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.
Robin : You ever get so tired you start seeing spiders?
Steve : Me after being awake for 3 days and start seeing the hat man.
Eddie : The who???
Steve : Oh this is suddenly not a safe space.
Lisa : Do you love Barry?
Snart : Yeah, I do.
Lisa : Mick! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!
Mick : We all love Barry. You should've asked if he were IN love with him.
Snart : I thought that was implied.
Mick : ...
Lisa : ...
Snart, looking straight at Mick : Congrats Liz, you just won 100 bucks.
Sometimes I read posts on Tumblr from 10 years ago, and I regret not having signed up before, but then I remember that I was 6 years old ten years ago :^
Caitlin : Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.
Barry : I- what?
Snart : My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call.
Lisa : It’s called connotations.
Cisco : Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty."
Mick : Great news! Language is now banned!
Iris : How was the honeymoon?
Barry : Len got drunk and set our marriage certificate on fire.
Barry : He said, "Good luck trying to return me without the receipt"
Iris : ...
Barry being a simp : I love him so much...
Tony : I have a plan!
Rhodey : Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it.
Tony : …
Rhodey : …
Tony : I no longer have a plan.