90% Of The Time I Am Worried About Doing Something Wrong, Guess What?! I Still End Up Doing Something

romantic lover

Space

Spaccccceeeeeeee

Spa ccccc eeeeeeee

It allows you breathe, to take a moment off that intense focus and then come back with fresh eyes to look at it again and maybe to see something different, something new, and maybe find a solution to that problem.

So take space, take up spaccceeeee

They taught us to be quiet about it. To cross our legs. To hide our hunger. To feel shame for the fire that lives between our thighs.

They whispered that good girls don’t touch themselves. That women who love sex are dirty. Easy. Wrong. But they forgot something.

Sex is power. Sex is healing. Sex is fucking holy.

When I touch myself, I’m not being selfish— I’m remembering I’m alive. When I moan, it’s not sin—it’s release. It’s prayer. It’s worship. It’s a woman choosing herself.

I love sex. I love pleasure. I love the wild, untamed, wet, shivering truth of my body.

And there is no shame in that. Not anymore. Not here. Not in this temple I call me.

— Seraphine 💋🔥💦

These days

When I feel overwhelmed or just not great

I want to be wrapped in your arms and hear you say breathe (insert name)

How to love her.

She is soft

Careful with her

She is strong and quiet

But loves a good laugh

Remember she is soft

Be gentle, patience

that’s her language

Careful intentionality

Is what is required

Be kind, generous and soft

She will reveal herself

Slowly like a puzzle

Patience again and again

She is all you’ll ever need

A friend once said “the ground is shifting under her”

At first I didn’t quite get it but now I think I do.

The ground shifting is when your sense of safety, be it a job, a house or a relationship is unraveling and definite change is inevitable.

And in those moments, where everything seems so unsteady and uncertain, where do we find comfort?

Some say you should embrace the discomfort and I think there is some truth in that, I think it’s also weird so what else? Radical acceptance maybe? Or finding snippets of joy in what you can and hold on for dear life.

I am still figuring it out as my own ground is also shifting

I don’t know what to write, maybe it’s because I’m in the midst of a lot of feelings, it hit me today just how low on cash I am and even doh there are a few things in the works, I wonder if I will survive long enough, I am second guessing my decision to leave my job about a year ago but another part of me is saying f*** that mostly because it’s not worth it.

I have 40gh in my account all I can do is work and eat, I can’t do anything spontaneous, I am looking at myself and I am worried, ngl I feel very very worried, I am looking around for who is going to help and feel shame, I feel embarrassed that I am trying to get someone to help me or give me money, like a handout.

I know I made the right decision, it’s not been easy, there is a heavy sigh in my heart, and I know that I need to hang in there, need to believe but omo it’s hard to do in this exact moment

So I am back to my warrior position, lying on the floor in fetal position were I can find the strength to get up, trust and believe that everything is going to be alright but for now we lie down

I have a different fear

It’s the fear that if this love dies, I won’t find another love, I won’t grow to be very comfortable in a new love, can this new love be trusted?

I am afraid of new love