Moving On

How to love her.

She is soft

Careful with her

She is strong and quiet

But loves a good laugh

Remember she is soft

Be gentle, patience

that’s her language

Careful intentionality

Is what is required

Be kind, generous and soft

She will reveal herself

Slowly like a puzzle

Patience again and again

She is all you’ll ever need

🤣🤣🤣

Nov 2024 | Netflix: "What's In My Trunk?" (x)

Get to know your self,

What you love, like or hate

What makes you smile the widest

What makes you feel excited

What is love to you

What makes you feel afraid

What saddens you deeply

Who brightens up your day

Hi there

I hope it hurts a little less today.

I miss my lover

I miss the way they laugh, that rings across the room

I miss the way they call to me, which is so specific to them

I miss their quiet presence, with no pretense just them sitting comfortably in their skin,

I miss my lover and the way they bring me food even when i am upset, but

I do not miss the long arguments, the feeling of being unheard or unseen, i do not miss constantly making space for them to expand to exist

With no space for me to be sometimes, i do not miss being a the center of someone else's world or the long winded understanding it requires to love another person

In the space of longing after all is said and done at the core of it all, I miss my lover because love is rarely perfect

🥹🥹🥹

Very few things hurt like a longing for something that doesn’t exist

Recent musing

Friendships come in different forms, yet we often overlook that a friend represents a relationship. Just as life ebbs and flows in a romantic relationship, a similar dynamic occurs in friendship.

I have two wonderful close friends. One, whom we'll call A, has been my day one; we have been closely connected for almost 20 years. She feels like a part of me in another body, but with her own unique twist. My second friend, whom we'll call Y, is someone whose energy matches mine perfectly. I made friends with Y in my twenties, and I look forward to a lifelong relationship with her.

A and I rarely fight; we see eye to eye on about 95% of things and truly understand each other. However, with Y, we do have disagreements from time to time, but the love between us remains strong.

I've noticed that when you share a conflict you're having with someone, people's responses often depend on your relationship with that person. For example, if it's a romantic partner, they might try to help you see things from a different perspective, unless the disagreement is particularly severe or the partner is abusive. In those cases, people generally won't advise you to end the relationship. However, when it comes to friendships, it seems that we tend to have less compassion.

We often believe that all friendships should resemble the ideal of "i and A," where everything is perfect. However, in reality, friendships are more like "i and T." It's normal to have disagreements; what's important is how we handle them. It's okay to fight, make amends, learn from the experience, and grow together. There's no need to cut ties with a friend over a misunderstanding. While I recognize that this might be an unpopular opinion, I believe it's a necessary reality. Personally, I tend to reflect seriously before ending any relationship, but I notice that many people react impulsively during conflicts in friendships.

My ramble tonight is simply that your friends deserve a second chance, or even a third and fourth, too, as long as they are not malicious and do not intentionally harm you.

Fe

I have a different fear

It’s the fear that if this love dies, I won’t find another love, I won’t grow to be very comfortable in a new love, can this new love be trusted?

I am afraid of new love