i literally talked about andreil rights in two hours to drag my friend into aftg hell with me last night, and guess what, i might finally finish this cursed josten blog.
░ ┊ @scarfwere 。• ◞
“ what didn’t happen exactly? ” Yes. He had to s p e c i f y.
he sighs. remembering how to talk with people is very hard. ‟ Knowing me. It never turns out well —— especially if assholes are all over you now just because I talked shit right back at ‘em. ❜
i actually have a series of folders filled with this boy looking at you like this.
current name usage concept :
alex / alexander - europe ( sweden )
stefan - europe to usa
chris - usa
neil’s faceclaims :
darwin gray ( default )
benjamin wadsworth
fionn whitehead
david mazouz* ( teen )
perth is experiencing a once in a decade storm this sunday til tomorrow so i just slept since i still have upset stomach. anyway, time to write stuff here.
░ ┊ @scarfwere 。• ◞
a good friend. When did he last have one? Matt? He guessed, if he ever counted as one. A small tentative smile. A faint tilt of his head and he catches wind of the good breeze before it finds him. Him still unsure even when it comes.
Eventually, it breaks out into a grin. A small one. Not large enough that it takes all over his face but good enough to make a dent. He almost turns around to double check ; make sure his Father wasn’t around to ruin it. But a surreptitious glance over his shoulder confirms what he felt in the moment : relief.
“ so ── we’re still friends? “
people like him, his mother and he, don’t have friends. by definition, a ‘ friend ’ is one of her connections forging high-quality documents for them to pass through airports or one of those old ones who are now chasing them to the ends of the earth. stefan hears it coined a lot around as he gets by and wonders how easily the term draws such warm expression on isaac’s face. as if stefan wouldn’t be gone after a few months’ time and wouldn’t be forgotten ... just like the rest of his other selves.
‟ Can’t really stop you from doing whatever you want. ❜ the raven-haired boy shrugs, as indifference lace with a piss poor excuse that he can fall back onto, a reason why he allowed whatever this is to happen. at the end of the day, stefan will still be put down and with him, are memories of a mediocre, normal boy’s life. as much as stefan can already feel the ire of his mother once she finds out and when she does, the pounding within his chest covered by nonchalance overlapped the threat of her wrath and even if he doesn’t understand why isaac seemed cautious despite his insistence on keeping a connection with stefan, he doesn’t bother poking into it.
‟ Usually, everyone doesn’t see the point of entertaining new kids for far too long; they come and go and fade away within a week. What’s up with you ? You seem hell-bent into ... whatever you’re up to. ❜ if stefan also sports NATHANIEL’s similar bluntness and lack of effort to understand social cues, he also doesn’t bother thinking much about it.
░ ┊ @scarfwere 。• ◞
“ nothing turns out well for me. “ It wasn’t a brag. Hardly something to be proud of. But it was nonetheless true. “ You can just say you don’t want to be seen around me. I’m a big boy. I can handle it if you don’t like me. “
‟ It’s not about being seen around you. ❜ took it a lot not to physically wince from the implication of something that nathaniel stefan might’ve been doing wrong. usually, the twist within his stomach tells that. ‟ It’s about you being seen around me. Just because I have a target on my back doesn’t mean you have to share it, Isaac. ❜
“ i love yooooouuuu ! ” “ … say it back . don’t do me like this ” “ i am the backbone of your entire childhood ” “ on all levels except legal , i’m basically your mom / dad . ” “ what movie do you want on ? ” “ this is my shitty microwave meal . get your own . ” “ say ‘aaaahhhh . ’ ” “ you’re so cuuuuuute ! ” “ who’s the best boy / girl in the world ? you are ! ” “ where’s my kiss ? ” “ wow . don’t act like you’re too good for me in front of your little baby friends ” “ what do you want to watch ? or can i just slap on , like , any cartoon and you’ll be good ? ” “ i love your cap . you’re such a cool little dude , aren’t you ? ” “ say thank you . ” “ say please ! ” “ how am i literally the only good role model in your life ? how does that work out ? i’m a garbage fire train wreck doing her best . ” “ who taught you that word ?? ” “ don’t say that word !! ” “ [ name ] acts like i won’t throat kick her for teaching you swears , and it’s just really bold of her to assume i lack that capability . ” “ venting to a kid is great , because you have literally no memory span until you’re four . you’re like a diary that sometimes smiles and laughs and like , cleanses my whole soul while i bitch . ” “ what do you mean no ?? ” “ oh my god , you learned why . never ask me why , ____ . me and my three brain cells don’t have the answers you’re after . ” “ you’re my favourite little brat . ” “ you’re just baby … ”
in any sense of words left in him , 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥.
he had never travelled before in his life, cooped up only in stifling corners of black rooms and choking smell of blood in dark rooms, until a few months later have seen him in SWEDEN. overwhelming than baltimore and its woods, with bustling crowds and big bricked houses and having nowhere familiar to run to; and yet, he finds familiarity in the dark at the back of a truck, with sharp and cold metal promising hurt by the men who drove it somewhere.
‟ ... ❜ he stayed still behind crates, smelling gunpowder and high risks of uncertainty especially as with every bump on the road, he can only hear the wild racing of his heart and the heat of his mother’s palm on his cheeks. careless, reckless, useless —— surely by now with the reminders of the tip of his father’s wrath on his skin, alex would’ve learned a hell of a curve.
unfortunately, getting separated on their first international getaway is unintentionally not on his list; and hopefully, the german words drilled into him before they get there is enough to keep him alive. before then, escaping capture from an accidental kidnapping - - alex made sure not to make a trace of life when he chose this as a hiding spot - - is the topmost priority. honestly, he should’ve checked the truck first if there’s someone in there before he jumped in to hide ... STUPID !