Jayce: I Turned Out Perfectly Fine.

Viktor, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career.

Jayce, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

Caitlyn: What the fuck are you guys doing?

Jayce: Playing systematic oppression

Jayce: If Mel and I were drowning, who would you save?

Viktor: You two can’t swim

Jayce: It’s a hypothetical question, Viktor! Who would you save?

Viktor: My time and effort.

Jinx: Okay. I get it. You’ve had a really hard time lately, you’re stressed out, seven people died.

Silco: Twelve, actually.

Jinx: Not the point. Look, they are dead now and really whose fault is that?

Silco: Yours!

Jinx: That’s right: no one’s.

Lena: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Alex: … Your what?

Lena: My friends.

Kara: Is she saying “friends”?

Andrea: I think she’s being sarcastic.

Kelly: No, no, no, this is delirium, she’s cracked from being awake all night. Hey Lena! All your friends are in this room.

Lena: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

Jayce: *kicks the door down looking panicked*

Viktor: What did you do?

Jayce: Nobody died.

Viktor: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Arcane as Breaking Bad quotes part: 1

Jinx: No store in town sells a plastic bin big enough for a body.

Vi: I don’t suppose you could buy two bins?

Jinx: I don’t suppose you could kiss my ass?

Jinx: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Caitlyn: You people already know too much about me.

Vi: I know exactly three things about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

Jayce: Can I be frank with you guys?

Viktor: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Vi: Can I still be Vi?

Caitlyn: Shh, let Frank speak.

Jayce: I’m 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

Viktor: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.

Jayce: Jokes on you I can’t do math.

Jayce, struggling to keep upright in his 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me.

Vi: It’s cause your posture is all wrong and those shoes were made for smaller feet. We just need a bigger size.

Viktor, pointing at him and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK

Caitlyn rubbing her temples and sighing: What have I done to deserve this? Please tell me.

…

Caitlyn: GET OUT OF MY CLOSET. ALL OF YOU! NOW!