Well IM Eating Sheet Metal And You Are Missing Out My Friend

this is me with every piece of media I’ve ever consumed

I will list them now

Young Dracula (seasons one and two only)

All the Lego ninjago tv show episodes I consumed exclusively in Spanish (I don’t speak Spanish)

the inheritance cycle??? That really long thing

all the podcasts! The midnight burger, welcome to nightvale, hello from the hallow woods, Sherlock and co, etc idk

Danny phantom

any Richard siken poetry

I don’t know anymore, how does tumblr even work, I’m just yelling into a void and I love it

having short-term memory is like. this book profoundly affected me. that show bared my soul. i don’t remember a single thing about it. but it did

ABSOLUTE BATMAN IS 6'8" I REPEAT

HE IS 203CM TALL

most doorways are 204cm tall!

DAMN!

What I love about Jason Todd is that he's angry about his trauma. Life fucked him over and he's rightfully pissed off. We already have "healed from their anger" Dick Grayson and "ignores their emotions" Bruce Wayne. Thank you DC for giving us "hurt and upset and lashing out" Jason Todd.

in the production of hamlet I was in there was about a week of rehearsal where we workshopped the idea of me (hamlet) playing a fife whilst strangling a guy around this part.

it didn’t make the Final Cut.

Just finished hamlet & had to share THIS

wfa + textposts for funsies

my boyfriend got tumblr (I convinced him!!)

anyway here’s his analysis of whatever from the first May 3rd entry of Dracula daily. (don’t let him fool you - he did actual research for this - he doesn’t know this all of the top of his head)

Bram Stoker Doesn't Understand Maps

Good Morning degenerates, My girlfriend has finally got me to use tumblr because I need an avenue to vent my rage and frustration. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dracula Daily was off to a great start. I was sending wholesome messages to my lovely partner until all of a sudden. I was filled with rage. Despite being set in the 1890s. As a contemporary text set when it was written, and being in the wake of the great Hungarian Revolution of 1849. There are too many geographical issues and I can only come to a single conclusion.

Bram Stoker doesn't understand maps.

Let's start with what killed me first. His claim that by claiming that crossing the Danube into Budapest "Took us among the traditions of Turkish rule"

But my friends. HUNGARY WAS (almost) NEVER RULED BY THE TURKS. The Ottomans got close, they owned most of the Balkans until big daddy Russia beat their asses in the Crimean and Russo-Turkish war. But even at their territorial peak they hadn't crossed the Carpathian Mountains into Hungary since 1699.

And even then, they'd only controlled Hungary since 1541. Nowhere near enough time to describe Hungarian architecture as "among the traditions of Turkish rule", it's fucking blasphemous.

It's like saying the Welsh bear "the traditions of Viking rule" just because they controlled parts of England.

And don't even get me started on this nonsense Transylvanian nationalism. The Hapsburgs had annexed that territory since 1683 and Transylvanian princes were quickly replaced with Habsburg imperial governors as the Roman Catholic Church was weaponized against the traditionally Protestant lands.

Now don't get me wrong. Austria Hungary was notoriously decentralized, and despite this what I've said above. Transylvania had some level of freedom, I could almost understand Bram if his writings were set 50 years earlier, or perhaps partway through the Hungarian revolution. But unfortunately for history, it was completely and unequivocally crushed by the Russian and Austrian forces. And following the Austro-Hungarian Compromise of 1867 any special status Transylvania once had, had ended. It became a province under the Hungarian diet and referring to it as though it was an independent nation is laughable.

Or is it? You see, just like sex and gender. A nation and a state are two different things. You see, a state is defined by its ability to have sovereignty, (control) over the going on within its defined borders. Whereas a nation is basically a group of people with a common language, history, and culture. And just like sex and gender, despite the fact that most countries (after ww2 at least but that's a different tangent) are nation-states, there are many nations without states (like the Kurds or the Palestinians). We're not lucky enough to have states without nations just yet but I'm holding out hope.

Perhaps Signor Stoker was simply referring to this concept of nationality instead. IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF I WAS AN IDIOT. YOU SEE "In the population of Transylvania there are four distinct nationalities: Saxons in the South, and mixed with them the Wallachs, who are the descendants of the Dacians; Magyars in the West, and Szekelys in the East and North"

This quote proves that this foppish fool of a man is clearly not viewing Transylvania as a nation in the sociological sense either.

BUT IT GETS WORSE. FOR BRAMOTHY STOKERSON SAYS TRANSYLVANIA BORDERS "Moldavia and Bukovina". BUT MOLDAVIA HASN'T EXISTED SINCE 1877, WHEN IT AND WALLACHIA UNIFIED INTO ROMANIA. AND BUKOVINA (as part of the Austro-Hungarian empire) HAD ITS SOVEREIGNTY DESTROYED AT THE SAME TIME THE TRANSYLVANIANS DID.

In conclusion. Big Boss Bram has never read a map in his life.

look at this loser who’s never had a strawberry crumble - they all do that

Imagine a Star Trek type food replicator that lacks an internal library of approved outputs and instead uses a generative language model to figure out what you're asking for. People having to do Midjourney-style prompt crafting to get the meals they want out of it. Abusing the system by describing things that absolutely are not food in ways which circumvent the safeguards. Occasionally it produces something that tries to eat you back which it insists with perfect confidence is in fact a strawberry crumble.

I will actually go insane. Never in my life have I disagreed more with Ryan. And i generally believe in ghosts and ghoulies. But this? This is where I draw the line. strawberry pie is terrible. strawberry and rhubarb pie is where it’s at.

He's 100% correct.

okay so I’m going to try and make a poll here goes nothing -

(and if anyone asks me to define ‘experience’ ;-; it’s literally just want any believer would define as evidence for ghosts/supernatural/paranormal/other-worldly - use your brain or at least your blood imagination’

CAPULET GIRL ON FLUTE

I’m realising I have so many bizarre Shakespeare related stories. For English, we had to do a ‘fun’ summary presentation. Somehow one guy ended up convincing our group to write and later perform to the class a parody version of uptown girl. This was accompanied by my recently ex-boyfriend of two weeks (who still was not speaking to me or sitting any less than three seats away from me - even if no one else was sitting there) playing the song on flute. ON FLUTE.

I would say that luckily that no one could hear us over the damn flute. However, another girl had made a karaoke style PowerPoint video creation, so that everyone could see our terrible lyrics on the screen clearly.

a sample of what I can remember:

Capulet girl She's been living in her Capulet world I bet she's never had a Montague guy I bet her momma never told her why

it is the most dreadful thing I’ve ever been a part of and I did high school theatre .