I Agree With 99.9% Of This. 

Sleepy Thoughts #1

Sunday, May 15, 2016

2:03 AM: Not sleeping anytime soon

You know that feeling when you watch way too many episodes from way too many TV shows, in way too short a timeframe?

And you become unhealthily obsessed with plot, setting, and characters, and all you want is to pass through your laptop screen and join your friends in their quest?

But you know this isn’t possible, so you instead spend every waking moment daydreaming about what your life would be like in their world.

And the knowledge that you would never meet them, because the actor is not the same as the character, makes you want to curl up into a ball and cry because the real world has no magic?

So as you’re crying in the fetal position, you press play on the next episode in hopes of escaping the dreary reality in which we’re all stuck.

Reblog this if your blog is a safe haven for ALL non-white, disabled, trans, queer, and/or women, and your ask box is open to anyone who needs it tonight, or anytime, for the next few years.

DIFFERENCE between MOON and SUN signs

The expression of a sign is much - MUCH - different depending on the planet it is found. And in my opinion, this is specially true when it comes to the sun and moon. The Sun is who we strive to be, while the Moon is what we are most deeply. Sometimes I even see that the Stereotypical traits of a sign are more evident in the moon than in the sun sign. The reason I find for this, is that most of us express ourselves through our feelings, particularly women or people with a more feminine energy (what I mean by this, has nothing to do with gender, but that you are in tune with your emotions) or sometimes it has to do with your dominant planet. Here are the differences and similarities of the signs placed on the sun or moon.

Aries:

Similarities: impatient

Differences: Sun is more aloof, the Aries sun is more constrained, and composed, looks confident. Moon in Aries has a lot of mental energy, very passionate and changes their mind very easily. The Moon doesn’t know how to direct their energy and might feel restless, while the Sun projects their energy better. Aries Moon feels everyone is out to get them while the Aries Sun does not. Aries characteristics are more obvious and pronounced in the Aries moon than the Aries sun.

Taurus:

Similarities: stubbornness and charm, expressive.

Differences: Taurus sun are blunt and less careful with other people’s feelings. In this particular sign, the Taurus sun is easier to spot than the Taurus moon. The Taurus moon is more grounded than the Taurus sun. Taurus moon is deep, while the Taurus sun is more shallow. Taurus moon loves love, and stability, and this quality is less manifested in the Sun.

Gemini:

Similarities: aloof, absent minded, easily bored

Differences:  Gemini suns want to appear easy-going, but it isn’t necessarily their true nature. Gemini moons are truly easy-going people. Sun wants to “be right” know the facts, while Gemini moons are simply more cynical to guard their emotions. Gemini suns are less witty (sorry…) than the moon sign.

Cancer:

Similarities: emotional, has pronounced mood swings.

Differences: Cancer suns act their feelings, like taking revenge, doing something about it BUT the cancer moon express their negative emotions through crying or anger.  Cancer suns are easy to spot, while cancer moons may need to feel comfortable to express themselves. The happy go lucky cancer sun is evident, while the Cancer moon is more - way more - serious.

Leo:

Similarities: the Ego and the need for compliments

Differences: The Leo Sun is a poser, they know it too! They are show offs, and while the Leo Moon is pretty damn good at everything, they know it, but will not say it. Will like to hear it, tho. The Leo Moon does not care about their appearance as much as the Leo Sun. The Leo Sun is more patient, annoy them a little, try harder, try again and they will get angry, the Leo Moon is more defensive and will kill you in less tries. The Leo Moon is more loving though, more sure of themselves and way more protective of themselves and especially, of their loved ones.

Virgo:

Similarities: critical, analyzing

Differences: I find in this sign the less differences. The Virgo Sun is more shy than the Virgo Moon, which I think goes against popular belief. (I also think this sign differs a lot depending if you are more masculine or feminine, I’ll do a post on that later). The Virgo knows how to live life correctly and will tell you how to lead your life, while being a mess themselves. Both are blunt, but you might have to push the Virgo suns more than the Virgo moons to actually get the real deal.

Libra:

Similarities: cares about what others think of them, passive agressive

Differences: the Libra sign is very misinterpreted, whenever I read about them I hear: “shallow” and while they can be vain because they care what others think about them, they are still deep. They think and are witty people, like their fellow air signs. Libra Sun is more care-free and easy going than the libra moon and less romantic because they want to appear care-free and interested in others, but might not really be interested at all. Libra Moon people are more intense. They are romantic and still vain, but they are more modest and insecure the Suns. They are also secretive something the Libra Sun is not. 

Scorpio:

Here and in Capricorn is where I PERSONALLY find the most differences

Similiarities: jealous, egocentric

Differences: if you still think that Scorpio people are the mysterious, dark, non talkative people that the stereotypes have them for, you really do not know many Scorpios SUNS. Scorpio SUNS want to be the center of attention and are charming, and talkative. When they get dark is when they don’t like you… Yeah. Revenge is a big truth here. The Scorpio moon? Now yes, they are the intense, dark, jealous you always thought Scorpios should be. Scorpio Suns might be dark at their core but will not show it, but Scorpio moons are what you see. The Sun is more reckless because just like I said about cancers, in the sun Scorpio acts on their feelings and the moons just feels them. So actually, in spite of being more intense, the Scorpio Moon tends to be kinder and still more jealous.

Sagittarius:

Similarities: EXPLORERS and thin skin

Differences: The Sun has a bigger heart. The moon since its the realm of emotions and Sag escapes, is less empathetic. The Sagittarius Sun is more bubbly than the moon, but the moon is more playful. The Sag sun is pretty easy to spot while the Sag moon might be one of the hardest to see. Sagittarius moons are more critical and snap easily. They are more blunt than the sun. Both are childish in way, it’s the Sag youthful spirit. The Sagittarius Sun is more philosophical and aware, the sag moon is more care-free.

Capricorn:

Similarities: confident and ambitious!

Differences: Are you kidding me? Capricorn suns are way way less introvert! They are not as reserved! The thing is, the Suns try to keep their feelings in check but the Moon though, is naturally hiding them. It’s what they instinctively do since the Moon represents the emotions. The Capricorn sun has a more loud confidence, while the Moon is more cautious. The Capricorn Sun might not be hardworking in areas that do not interest them, but if they want something, they will make everyone know they are going to get it. The Capricorn Moon are prudent and will get what they want with discipline and with anyone realizing how they got to the top! They do not need to say it, they will show you. The Moon is colder than the Sun and more intimidating. Way more intimidating.

Aquarius:

Similarities: I see not much resemblance in these two, maybe the aloofness and Idgaf attitude.

Differences: If I had to say who is the two face of the zodiac I would not turn to the Gemini, surprisingly enough. The Aquarius Sun tho, they are volatile. In the Sun I have trouble understanding them and in the moon they are obvious! The Aquarius Sun looks confident and detached, but this might not be their true emotional nature, just a disguise. They can be happy one moment and angry the next, loving for one second, pushing you away after because of this fighting against what their inner feelings are and what they want their public persona to be. The Moon is less volatile because they really are detached, for the moon it’s not a show. VERY VERY GOOFY, loves attention and IS WITTY. Very unique person and loves/wants to appear weird.

Pisces:

Similarities: creative

Differences: The Pisces Sun is sensitive, but more to their own feelings. The Pisces Moon is more sensitive towards others, not wanting to hurt other people. The Pisces Moon is truly the most sensitive of the zodiac. The Pisces Moon cares more about what people think than the Sun. The Pisces Sun is comfortable in their skin, the Moon is always fighting against their empathetic nature. “Why am i feeling so much, stop” but if only the Pisces Moon did not feel ashamed of their sensitivity they would hurt much less. Yes, the Pisces Moon that doesn’t like being empathetic, lives in a lot of pain. They Moon can be submissive and naturally wants to please, the Sun however, is more selfish. Also, the Pisces Moon escapes reality more often and is darker.

Sleepy Thoughts #4

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

12:17 AM: I have an irrational fear of sleeping anywhere near midnight because I’m afraid the ghosties are gonna come into my room, so it’s around this time that I’m in a constant state of fear and can’t sleep.

I have a vivid memory of the first day of fourth grade when I walked into Ms. Sanchez’s English class and, upon finding my name tag on my new desk, I stopped and thought to myself, “Well, this is the desk that will be mine for the whole entire year”. At that moment in time, the end of the school year just seemed so far away, and the time that I was to spend at that desk would last an eternity. It was during the following summer that I finally remembered that moment I had, and I realized that it felt like just yesterday that I was assigned that desk, and the school year had flown by before I could notice it. That got me thinking about the first day of school and the end of summer, but I quickly dismissed these thoughts because hey, summer had just begun, and the first day of school was an eternity away, right?

Time is a bitch.

push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise. 2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice. 6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full. 8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle. 9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. 10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog. 11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through. 13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

(via aureat)

An Apocalyptic sunset.

Today was my first day on meds for anxiety and I was supposed to have a job interview (part-time retail work, nothing major (although my mind seems to think it’s the biggest deal in the world)), so my foot decided to bend inwards and now I can’t walk without crutches which hurt like hell to use because of an old shoulder injury, so I had to reschedule the interview over the phone, and I can’t talk over the phone, and I had no idea when to reschedule it for since I went to the clinic and got an x-ray and they haven’t gotten back to me yet so I don’t know when it will be better, and there’s also that part inside of me that thinks I’m overreacting and theres nothing actually wrong and I’m gonna seem like an attention fiend, so I’m not sure if I want the pain to be gone or not in the morning when I have to wake up at 6:30 cause I was supposed to take my cat to the vet and now my mom is gonna have to miss work cause I can’t carry my cat and use crutches, but I still have to help her put my cat in the carrier which I don’t know how I’m gonna do since I can’t fucking walk, which is gonna be great for my first day of work tomorrow since I don’t have the type of shirt I need to wear yet since I was gonna buy it today but I didn’t, so my mom is telling me to go to the store before work at 10 AM but I CAN’T FUCKING WALK and I just nearly collapsed in the shower cause I keep losing my balance hobbling on one leg, and I was gonna call them and ask to come in for orientation at a later date but my mom said that I should just show up with my crutches anyway and maybe they’ll send me home but I’ve been hyperventilating and crying for the last couple of hours, not including when I actually twisted my foot, and I have no idea what to do.

Museum of Living Statues Pt. 2

TRIGGER WARNING: Character death, manipulation, and creepy ending.

This was my final project for my creative writing class, and I was pleased with how it turned out, so please enjoy!

That weekend I found myself outside the door of the Museum of Living Statues. I looked down at the flyer that my parents had forced into my hands a couple of days ago. Once inside, I was promptly greeted by a pleasant worker.

“Hello, and welcome to the Museum of Living Statues! Ticket purchases are right down this hallway and to the right,” They held their left arm out straight as a gesture, “and the application room for aspiring models is around the corner and through the door.” They stuck out their other arm in the same manner, and I hesitated.

“Um, I’m here to apply as a… model, I guess.” I said sheepishly, and their smile widened.

“Perfect! If you just head through the door marked for modeling, then someone will be right with you to help begin your application. Have fun, beautiful!” They flashed their strikingly perfect teeth as they continued to hold both their arms straight out from their previous gestures.

“Yeah, thank you.” I nodded at them hesitantly and headed around the corner. The door was very large and purple, and the sign read ‘Modeling Briefing’. I tried the sturdy metal handle, but it was locked. I knocked loudly and hurt my hand on the surprisingly hard metal door. As soon as I stopped my knocking someone yanked the door open and I came face to face with the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I could feel my face growing hotter and a lump formed in my throat. Just as I began to seriously consider turning and running away, they smiled a heavenly smile and clasped my hands in theirs.

“Hello, dear! Are you here to apply to become a model?” Their voice was like velvet, and my knees began to shake.

“Uh, that’s what I came here for, but...” I swallowed to try and clear the lump that had doubled in size. “but, uh, I’m not sure if I can.” They furrowed their brow and let go of my hands, which then dropped heavily to my sides.

“There’s no reason to worry, dear. We are willing to work with models of all levels of experience!”

“No, I mean, uh, I don’t exactly look like the typical model.” I said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Their confused expression sharply changed into that of amusement.

“Oh, now that’s just silly. Your face is very handsome, not to mention your height! You’re perfectly suited for modelling work, and I won’t hear any more complaints!” They flashed a smile and took my hand once more, leading me into the large open room.

When asked how she felt about equal marriage, my grandmother always said that she didn't care what they did, as long as it wasn't "shoved down her throat". The only problem is, she didn't care about heteronormativity being shoved down her throat in every romantic comedy or Valentine's Day commercial she watched.

it’s just incredible to me, how selfish and self centred you have to be to demand lgbt people don’t kiss or hold hands in front of you bc it makes you uncomfortable. my friends, that’s called homophobia, and if you honestly genuinely believe that lgbt safe spaces should be pda free, you’re a homophobe and a bad person