Today Was My First Day On Meds For Anxiety And I Was Supposed To Have A Job Interview (part-time Retail

push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise. 2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice. 6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full. 8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle. 9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. 10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog. 11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through. 13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

(via aureat)

*finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

Kalinga & Bontoc women headdresses + tattoos Luzon, Philippines

logic

Museum of Living Statues Pt. 2

TRIGGER WARNING: Character death, manipulation, and creepy ending.

This was my final project for my creative writing class, and I was pleased with how it turned out, so please enjoy!

That weekend I found myself outside the door of the Museum of Living Statues. I looked down at the flyer that my parents had forced into my hands a couple of days ago. Once inside, I was promptly greeted by a pleasant worker.

“Hello, and welcome to the Museum of Living Statues! Ticket purchases are right down this hallway and to the right,” They held their left arm out straight as a gesture, “and the application room for aspiring models is around the corner and through the door.” They stuck out their other arm in the same manner, and I hesitated.

“Um, I’m here to apply as a… model, I guess.” I said sheepishly, and their smile widened.

“Perfect! If you just head through the door marked for modeling, then someone will be right with you to help begin your application. Have fun, beautiful!” They flashed their strikingly perfect teeth as they continued to hold both their arms straight out from their previous gestures.

“Yeah, thank you.” I nodded at them hesitantly and headed around the corner. The door was very large and purple, and the sign read ‘Modeling Briefing’. I tried the sturdy metal handle, but it was locked. I knocked loudly and hurt my hand on the surprisingly hard metal door. As soon as I stopped my knocking someone yanked the door open and I came face to face with the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I could feel my face growing hotter and a lump formed in my throat. Just as I began to seriously consider turning and running away, they smiled a heavenly smile and clasped my hands in theirs.

“Hello, dear! Are you here to apply to become a model?” Their voice was like velvet, and my knees began to shake.

“Uh, that’s what I came here for, but...” I swallowed to try and clear the lump that had doubled in size. “but, uh, I’m not sure if I can.” They furrowed their brow and let go of my hands, which then dropped heavily to my sides.

“There’s no reason to worry, dear. We are willing to work with models of all levels of experience!”

“No, I mean, uh, I don’t exactly look like the typical model.” I said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Their confused expression sharply changed into that of amusement.

“Oh, now that’s just silly. Your face is very handsome, not to mention your height! You’re perfectly suited for modelling work, and I won’t hear any more complaints!” They flashed a smile and took my hand once more, leading me into the large open room.

Besides, how many times have white people been cast to play people of color, and no one protests? Suddenly when it's the other way around it becomes a huge issue?

Sophie Okonedo in The Hollow Crown

[images via]

Apparently I should be checking out this miniseries adaptation of Shakespeare’s history plays, immediate-style. 

Sleepy Thoughts #3

Friday, May 20, 2016 10:38 PM: In pain on an air mattress at my grandma's 'cause I forgot my neck pillow that I sleep on while my industrial heals The most frustrating part of visiting my family is the difference of views. My uncle proudly says that if Bernie were to be elected then the national debt would be 17 TRILLION dollars, like it's the most absurd piece of information, while my grandma gobbles it up. I sit there biting my tongue while my mother looks at me to make sure I don't jump up and smash their radio to pieces. So I sit there, wondering why it's a bad thing that the national debt would be 17 trillion dollars. Especially since it's currently at 19.2 trillion and growing more every second.

Sister of Terence Crutcher, who has become another victim of the police brutality says she wants justice. She demands charges pressed against the officer, who killed her brother in cold blood. Please, welcome, Betty Shelby.

She is on paid leave now. She is on paid vacation for killing a black man for nothing. 

We demand justice for Terence Crutcher.

Read more at BlackMatters

via Jennifer Bin (@jenniferbin) • Instagram photos and videos

Museum of Living Statues Pt. 5

TRIGGER WARNING: Character death, manipulation, and creepy ending.

This was my final project for my creative writing class, and I was pleased with how it turned out, so please enjoy!

I heard a click and the hum of the suction coming from the machine, and I attempted to breath steadily through my nose to calm myself down. As I breathed out slowly, I took in a massive gulp of air as the hose was suddenly shoved down my throat. I gagged reflexively and my eyes shot open just in time to see the receptionist calmly flip a second switch on the machine and almost instantly my vision went blurry as a thick, acrid liquid flooded down my esophagus. Instinctively I attempted to breathe and only managed to change the course of the liquid as it flowed into my windpipes, then my lungs. The receptionist glanced up at me in my state of panic and clicked their tongue.

“Now dear, I thought I told you to close your eyes. You wouldn’t want to burn them, would you? That would be awfully painful.” They reached up to the steaming hot bucket positioned over me, and gave the chain dangling from it a swift yank. I shut my eyes just in time before the boiling hot wax covered my entire body, not that shutting my eyes helped protect myself from the unimaginable pain that followed. As I attempted to scream, the shooting, burning sensation in my chest and throat intensified and the liquid spluttered as I choked and gagged. The burning hot wax now sat on my skin, and when I attempted to open my eyes I found that they had been glued shut by the thick substance. My mind began to grow fuzzy and I felt myself drifting, unable to see, feel, smell, or taste anything other than the foul liquid. My ears strained to hear anything through the thick wax that now clogged them. I felt pressure on my left cheek and heard a soft voice speak to me.

“There there my dear, that wasn’t so hard was it?” they cooed, their voice lulling me into the sleep that my body was calling for, “Look how beautiful you are!”

“Welcome, everyone, to the grand opening of our new exhibit!” The receptionist spread their arms open wide, and their smooth voice rang through the crowd. “This new collection is based off of simple, everyday people, just like all of you! Now, without further ado.” They held up their scissors, and made a spectacle of cutting the red ribbon that marked the entrance to the new exhibit. The crowd applauded, and people began to pour in to appreciate the detailed wax figures. In particular, there was one pair of people with pudgy bellies and crooked teeth who stood out from the rest. While the rest of the crowd took their time looking around them at the beautiful figures that all wore similar expressions of terror, this couple shoved through the crowd while looking around wildly.

“There, honey! I found it!” The woman said to her partner as she ran ahead, coming to a halt in front of a statue wearing an expression of sorrow. The mother paused, cupping her hand over her mouth as she struggled not to cry. Her partner caught up and rested their hand comfortingly upon her shoulder. The mother reached up to stroke the beautiful waxy cheek that once belonged to her child, while the receptionist watched closely from among the crowd.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie.” The mother said as a tear escaped down her cheek. “But Jesse really wants braces.”

I don’t really think anyone has read this, but it still makes me feel good to have something I’m proud of out there in the open, and hopefully at least one person cares. Thank you for reading!