Late Night Thoughts - Blog Posts

looking for a late night study buddy?

look no further than here.

There’s something about finding fan art on Tumblr and then finding those artists and pieces on different platforms that makes me so happy. Idk how to explain it.

We are so busy telling everyone that they are beautiful, that we forgot it didn't matter if they weren't.

having late night thoughts nd now think getting ready for a funeral is one of the most difficult things

Middle school: ew what is sex, that sounds gross I could never fuck someone

Highschool: FUCK WHY IS EVERYONE HOT LIKE GODDAMN HES HOT SHES HOT I WANNA MAKEOUT WITH ALEX FIERRO EVEN THOUGH SHE DOESNT EXIST WHAT THE FUCK.

stop haunting me in the night, putting your hand on my shoulder, quietly telling me to wait for you silently in the dark, when i know in myself already that you won’t come back

Basia.

Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque amemus (Carme 5, Catullo) Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque amemus, rumoresque senum severiorum omnes unius aestimemus assis. Soles occidere et redire possunt; nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux, nox est perpetua una dormienda. Da mi basia mille, deinde centum, dein mille altera, dein secunda centum, deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum; dein, cum milia multa fecerīmus, conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus, aut ne quis malus invidere possit, cum tantum sciat esse basiorum.

Under water. Body immerged in the ocean, seeking for an opportunity to near the after life. Because everything was useless without him in my life. Indeed, I didn't know where he was.

I decided to let my body die. For, without him in my life, I wouldn't know how to thrive.

Want to feel again his soft lips on mine, to bring him back in my life. And, someone held my body. Brought me to the land, caressed my hair but didn't try to revive me.

The touch was strikingly abusing my consciousness. because my body had gone limp in the nowhere.

I was feeling the stare of its presence, it was abnormal and I paradoxally wanted to open eyes and see who that was.

But, it was nearly impossible. And yet, I could see without seeing.

It's unexplainable but, my body knew who that was.

Now, I might have had a guess and I think I did know who that was. Because, those soft, plump lips , were on my skin. My body recognised him.

He was there for me.

Had I not immerged myself in the deep waters of the Atlantide, I would have seen him again.

I coulnd't move, neither speak. I couldn't open my eyes, neither breath. So, how was it possible that I could hear his voice?

I was screaming in my head. Meanwhile. he shushed me.

"My bunny. Don't panic. Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur. I'm here now with you, thats all that matters" , he said.

My Henry was here.My cold and freezing winter had come again to help me. There was an happiness inside me that nothing, not even Hades, could ever diminish it from me.

Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior. That was all I could think of.

We choose to love, we do not choose to cease loving .

“I hate and I love Why do I, you ask ? I don't know, but it's happening and it hurts”

There are two D's in Jason's name because he comes with two times the drama

it is currently 1:20 am. and im going insane. i love hawks sm?? hes like my comfprt character. AND I JS WATCHED TT'S OF HCS OF HIM POST WAR. im gonna. CHAT IK GOING TO RIOT

i love him sm. not hawks, i dont love hawks, i love keigo takami HES......... idk why he makes me sad and happy 🙁🙁 im going to be indulging my hyperfixation (already have been) will be posting some drawings later SMILES

Cold egg roles hit so hard in the middle of the night

I hear pretty often calling a guy's ass a pussy as a sexy thing. Which makes sense since a vagina is created for penetration and making a man, something not necessarily used for penetration, getting something used for such acts is a sexy thing. But girls have asses too. So you could hypothetically do the same thing right? Making a girls ass also a pussy since its the same thing? But what would the dirty talk be? Or the thought process? Usually for men its stuff like "Fucking your pussy, gonna make you my wife" or even "Gonna get you pregnant" acting like things that shouldnt be possible are possible because of how hard youre fucking them but for women who already have such parts what is used? "I'm going to give you a second pussy" perhaps? Claiming over every part of them that parts of them that werent even made for penetration like a vagina also a vagina. That you're making every part of them made for penetration, even if they already have one. Is that also sexy? Thoughts?

I hate doflamingo *consumes media of him.*

He's such a shit person *Reads fics of him in character*

0 redeeming qualities at all *Sees him in other media*

*Staring at huge art of him* God i fucking hate looking at him

Okay Internet! I have a question!

So you know how some beloved childhood favorites (ie, Hello Kitty, the Smurfs, etc.) Are described as being three apples tall?

But the question is- what apple? Like, what specific apple? Could be random, yes. Am I crazy to think this? Also yes.

But it's just bugging me since they never specify the apple!

Apples come in all sizes and shapes, right? And that also includes height and stackability. So what apple would be a reasonable apple to measure our beloved Smurf friends or Kitty companion? Out of curiosity?

There is something so joyous about the the Labyrinth movie. Something feral within me begins frothing at the mouth. The costumes, the aesthetic the puppetry.

I feel like Gollum and the One Ring, I want to cradle it close to my chest and keep it with me always, live in a soggy cave and only focus on it forever. But also show it off to everyone because “Look! Look at how wonderful and beautiful it is!”. I want to embed it into my soul and consume it fully. Tear into its flesh and feast on it for eternity.

How are more people not interested in astronomy? Isn't it so cool how our universe keeps expanding and expanding further? There's so many things that we know but yet don't know ENOUGH about and things that haven't even been dared to discover. Like I think that's really cool and wish to know so much more about and in astronomy.

It's late, I've woken up twice, taken a melatonin but still can't sleep and the only ridge on my smooth brain of exhaustion right now is contemplating whether Hua Cheng would be jealous or proud of Yuuri Katsuki. I think if he was watching Yuuri on Ice as a show he'd be proud, but if he was meeting Yuuri he'd be jealous. Either way he'd relate to having a shrine of your idol.

An Idea of a Batfam AU:

What if The Batfam somehow got teleported into the world of EPIC? Namely, what if they Circe? What would happen?

What about Bruce, who had some chemistry with Selina and Talia? And a lot of chemistry with Clark?

What about Dick, who dated half a dozen people and is dating Barbara or Starfire? Man or woman, alien or human. Dick who got SA-d twice or more? (I don't know exactly how many times)

What of Jason, who may or may not be dating Roy, a man?

What of Tim, who is Bisexual but dated Bernard and Conner, who are both a man?

What about Steph and Cass, who are both women?

And Damian is literally a child.

(I, admittedly, don't know much about Duke so I didn't add him. But what would happen?)

(Sorry if there are any mistakes)

I had a thought last night. A Batfam AU:

Thomas Wayne married a metahuman, Martha Wayne. She had wings and claws, much like a bird. They had a son, a metahuman like his mother, Bruce Wayne. And the whole of Gotham adored them.

Then, one tragic night when the Waynes were attacked, not only did Bruce lose his parents, but his wings as well. Ripped off his back.

Later, when he decided to become Batman, he added wings to the costume. But he didn't add feathers. It was the wings of a bat.

He missed his wings, his feathers dearly, but at the same time couldn't bear to have any other wings, feathers than his own, than the ones he was born with, than the one he inherited from his mother.

The lack of feathers in his costume served as some kind of symbol. Symbol of what he lost that night, symbol of a part of what he was avenging, a symbol of what he misses, a symbol of his pain.

Then comes Dick, who is also a bird metahuman. Bruce teaches him how to fight, how to protect himself, and makes sure he wouldn't have to go through the pain of losing his wings like he did. At least not as long as he was around.

Jason, Tim, Steph, or Cass didn't have wings, but they were added to the costume anyway.

Then comes Damian, who did have wings. Bruce felt longing, saddness, and happiness. Because here it was. Sure it wasn't him who had them, but the wings, the claws, and the eyes, they were so much like his and his mother's.

Since there weren't any bird-related metahumans in the league, Dick and Bruce teaches Damian how to fly. Bruce feels pride, joy, and a bit of longing.

Another senerio:

Bruce I-haven't-slept-for-67-hours because-of-a-case Wayne as Batman in a JL meeting accidentally slips how much he misses his wings. His feathers. And how much he misses feeling the wind brush against his wings.

The JL, feeling surprise, shock, and anger at the revelation. Because who dares to take the Batman's wings from him. He may be bossy and serious all the time, but he is still one of the JL member nonetheless. Batman is their collegue, their friend. They will make whoever that took their friend's precious wings pay.

(I got inspired by a fic but I forgot the name, sorry)

(Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes)

I ran over a turtle once.

Now,

I think it may be some form of karma

that I am that turtle

stalled in my journey after I'd only just begun

never knowing what lies in wait across the road.

Life is a highway,

and I am merely the roadkill smeared upon it.

Lovejoy songs give the vibe of a comeback to an argument that Wilbur thought of WAYYYY after the fact.

Allow me to set the scene...

So you're an alien (just go with it) and you have to write a report on human studies.

You with me? Good.

Okay so you go to your local human library (stay with me here) to find some research material but...

Oh no! You only used research from the ritualistic cult section!

We following? Awesome.

So now your entire knowledge of the human race is just ritualistic cults.

Makes sense? Great.

Then you get invited to a humans birthday party (there's a point here I promise) and it's time for cake.

Everybody on the same page? Super.

Alien (that's you) watches as this lovely dessert is brought out and wax sticks are placed into it. The wax is set on fire and everyone gathers in a circle to chant. Once the chanting is complete a chosen one makes a wish on the flaming wax sticks (thus embuing the cake with the magical wish powers obviously) and blows the fire out. Everyone eats the treat and the annual ritual is complete.

All of this is to say...

Birthdays do be a little culty.

Late night thoughts post and I'm eepy so if I sound deluded that's why but like, I just discovered fictionhearted and I am currently questioning if I'm fictionhearted with Basil as the character and that could be part of the reason why I'm so freaking defensive of him and get so upset when people misinterpret his character 💀

You werent sudden daylight in the dark, you’re the gentle moonlight on a summer night

I thought i crawled my way out of the dark, that i carved a home into that darkness all on my own. I had, in a sense. Then i met you. The darkness had ebbed back a bit from what i did, but when i met you it went from a flood to a kiddy pool. It wasnt sudden, that’s probably why i didnt notice it at first, but that darkness became easier. I went from completely lost, to clawing my way to a better place, to making friends with it, to letting it carry me through life until i met you, and then i started to actually live again. I didnt know how or why but being around you made me feel better. Even when i was dating a friend, even when i saw him in the morning and was happy to see him, i never felt that pure lightness i did when i was around you. And then we broke up. I got closer to you. I was falling in love without even realizing it. I fell in love with you slowly, a little more with every smile and giggle and late night conversation until suddenly i was in too deep to go back. It was like being caught in a riptide, only this time instead of being swept up into the dark i was swept into the arms of the sun. Even after i realized i loved you i didnt tell you for a couple months. I was scared to lose that warmth. I had gotten so used to the chill i didnt even realize i was cold, but then out of seemingly nowhere i was warm. It was completely unexpected but at the same time made complete sense. I didnt realize it was love for a long time, but what else could it be, it made total sense. Gods the first time i hugged you after telling you i love you really did feel like being in the arms of the sun. I used to be scared of physical contact. I still am in most ways, with most people. But with you, with you its a need, a craving so deep i dont think it’ll ever leave and i never want it too. And i dont know how it happened, but falling in love with you made that darkness change. I realized i had been trying to make it go away, but i never needed to do that. It’s still there, but it’s no longer lurking, waiting for me to slip into the undercurrent and carry me away, No. In falling in love with you i fell in love with the world, with life, with myself. It was the small things. The warmth of a hug, of the sun, the color of your eyes, then the color of my eyes, your smile, then one day i realized i didnt hate my smile like i used to. I had convinced myself that i looked horrible smiling and looked much prettier with a neutral expression. But around you i smiled so much, you smiled so much, that it made me realize my smile isnt bad at all. I still think i look prettier without a smile most times, but now i know i dont have a bad smile, and now im not afraid to smile. Which is a good thing bc whenever im around you i wanna smile. Anyway, darkness, sun, tides, all that stuff. I spent so long carving out a spot for myself in the darkness, but it wasnt until i fell in love with you, until i loved you, until you loved me, until i fell in love with pieces of myself and the world, that i realized i was wrong. I didnt need to fight the darkness, wrestle and fight the tide. No, i didnt need to do that at all. Darkness isnt something you fight. It isnt something you push away and reject, it’s something you embrace and let go of. Darkness isnt a fight, it’s a dance. The harder you fight to stay in control the more you get spun around and tripped up. Loving you and loving myself made me realize i needed to stop fighting and flow with the music. I dont need a thousand suns, i dont need a way to fix everything wrong with me, i dont need to think theres a million things wrong with me, i dont need to need anything like that. I just needed to be happy, to accept there are days the darkness is my friend, a comfort when the world gets too much, fuel for when i cant keep going. And there are days that the darkness is very much not my friend, where it is pure fear and stopping me from doing anything, where it makes me lash out and confused and hurt. And that’s ok. I dont need to be in control. I will never be in control of that.

It took falling in love to realize that.

Falling in love isnt the answer to everything, but it helped a lot more than i thought it would. I never looked for love, not like this. No, i didnt fight for this. This love grew naturally, and grew and grew and blossomed into the most beautiful thing. I will fight as hard as i need to keep this love, but i know i will never control it. I never want to control this love. This love that is wild and frantic and panic and soft touches and tender hugs and carefree smiles and safety and healing and good. This love that feels like sleeping after swimming for hours, this love that feels like following the moonlight on a trail to bed, this love that feels like smiling into dying embers on a night in spring when the world feels old and new and ancient and fresh and right. This love that feels like the home i always wanted, feels like the hugs i used to be too scared to want, feels like the world is finally peaceful without it inevitably being ripped away. I will never control this love, i will nevee fight this love, but i will always fight for this love if i need to, i will fight for you if i need to, but i no longer want to fight. I’ve spent years fighting, now i just want to be soft and spend my life with you. My life my heart my time my love it’s all yours

When you realize calling someone ugly in a fight isn’t about looks, but you’re literally calling them ugly on the inside. Like I don’t care what you look like, but what you did was a reflection of who you are on the inside.