Latest Posts by dreamingofwolves - Page 2

There's so many things I'd like to tell you. Maybe how I thought that this could finally be my 'good day'. Or how when you said that you missed me, my heart skipped a beat, because no one ever misses me. You're the first person who listened. Who understood. I loved you so much. I finally thought I could trust you. But now I'm sitting here bleeding from my chest. You left the door open when you took my heart. You never came back. I thought I could trust you, but I'm not sure anymore.

- Dreaming of Wolves//Poems

I don't have a cool or interesting post today. Highschool sucks. I have no one. I'm so incredibly lonely it's not even funny. I got my heart broken for the 2nd time by the same person. It feels like the one millionth time. My heart aches. My eyes want to cry, but nothing will come out. The thing is, it's not his fault either. Maybe I just deserve it. Everything. I'm sorry self. I told you I would be better. But the crying won't stop. I'm sorry. When will this go away? When can I feel like me again? I don't even know who I am anymore. This isn't for attention. This is for myself. I tried comforting me, but instead, I'm falling apart.

This is my theme for today;

A List of Things That Signal I'm Sad or Feeling Something Very Deeply (But I Won't Ever Tell You-):

- I start being very short with you. Instead of thoughtful sentences, you only get (Oh. Oh cool. Ha. Etc.)

- I start having a very pessimistic drop in my tone

- I start changing the convo

- I start changing the topic to you rather than me

- I take longer to reply

- I use hhhhh a lot

**In irl**

- I avoid your eyes

- My posture drops

- I start fidgeting

- I stay silent

- I rest my head and just look like someone who got stabbed

I never really got a childhood. Sure, I had a beginning, but a troubled one. I became an escapist from day one, always flying to my imaginary world instead of the real one. I didn't like reality, and frankly, I still don't because of the people inside them. I had to grow up too fast. They pushed me into the blinding reality, and I got hurt. They laughed when I fell in my hole, and they never helped me get back out. I never forgave them for that. Now, as I look back, my beginning was stolen, my middle was me realizing it, and what will my end be? All I want is a happily ever after, something of fairy tales. I want to be the girl raised by wolves, or protected by the forest creatures. I want to find someone who makes me feel so loved I won't even have to doubt it anymore. I need something to prove me wrong that my end won't be as tragic as how it all was written in the start. It's time I pick up the pencil. It's time I start rewriting my life.

- Dreaming of Wolves// Short Stories

Important Things My Friends Have Said To Me:

- "No, it's not okay. I can tell you're upset. I'm here if you want to talk."

- "I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself."

- "Trust me. I'm not going to hurt you. I promise."

- "You are too amazing for us to forget. We'd be stupid if we forgot you."

- "Don't worry. I'll protect you."

- "I wilL PUNCH YOU WITH FRIENDSHIP IF YOU DON'T STOP TALKING BAD ABOUT YOURSELF."

- "Don't worry! I'm smiling, and you should too. :D"

- "You should've told me. I'm here for you. I'm always here for you."

- "They love you, I love you. Please, accept our love."

I have such wholesome and great friends. What did I do to deserve them?

Personality Quirks/Quirks in General I Have:

-Flinch at physical contact

-Can't navigate for the life of me, but once I have a path down, I will never not go that path

-Can't solve most school locks

-Always paranoid that someone is going to hurt me. Mostly stab or shoot me.

-Paranoid of people behind me, that's why I never turn my back on people. Literally.

-Can't eat in front of people because I'm messy, and another reason.

-Literally the most mess of a person you will ever meet.

-I use literally too much.

-I cry over everything. I know I'm over emotional.

-But some reason, can't show weakness in front of strangers/my parents.

-I have a very, very good long term and short term memory.

-I always have a weird way of thinking and cannot follow the way teachers teach me.

-Due to my number phobia, both clocks and math are hard for me to deal with.

-Seriously. I have no idea what goes on during math. I just pretend to know what I'm doing.

-And also, I have a schedule for sleeping due to the phobia of numbers.

-I need every friend of mine to give me a gift, preferably a plushie, once we get close because I need something that reminds me of them + bares their smell in case I lose that person.

-I am too much of a perfectionist and can't stand when things are out of order.

-If the house is messy/my room, I can't work, sleep, and I become restless.

-I have a MASSIVE fear of losing my friends/my friends being killed my enemies.

-That's why I'm overprotective of them.

-I wear my heart on my sleeve too much, and always get broken in the end.

-I either trust completely or not at all, there's no in between.

-I have two personalities, the way I see me, and the way my friends see me. Both are very accurate to who I am.

-I constantly struggle with balance in my life.

-If you are my enemy, yoU'RE GOING DOWN. I will not let you hurt my friends. Ever. Fight me.

-I have an overwhelming fear of school shootings/mass shootings and always prepare myself for one.

-I watch scary documentaries and then go to sleep and have nightmares.

-I count nightmares as just dreams.

-I remember all of my dreams. I frequently lucid dream, but just see what happens instead of controlling myself.

-I seem chill, but I'm super uptight.

-I am drawn to people that have the "bad boy" look.

-I read too many X Readers because I need to feel loved.

-I love people watching.

-When I have a crush, I'll stalk them online.

-Animals always consider me their mate for some reason??

Where To Find Me If I've Disappeared:

-Sitting under a tree, reading a book

-Basking in moonlight

-Stargazing

-Wandering in a forest

-Sitting by an ocean/jumping in the ocean

-Looking up in the sky

-Getting lost in thought/daydreaming, anywhere

-Writing poems in the rain

-Jumping in puddles in the rain

-Writing during a storm

-Crying, anywhere

-Being captured by aliens

-Being locked up in my room, watching anime

-Spending time with any animal to exsist. Ever.

-Sketching at a coffee shop

-Spending time with the best people in the world, AKA my friends

-Tumblr

"How am I supposed to say I miss you and I love you when you ruined my life? How am I supposed to morn you when you were my monster, controlling me like a puppet that I wasn't. I'm free, and yet here I am, still confused. Are you family or a foe? Am I supposed to miss you or forget you? Am I even supposed to have these thoughts?"

- Dreaming of Wolves//Dark 3AM Thoughts

"A part of me wonders if you'll even show up to my funeral. Will we still be friends before we die?"

- Dreaming of Wolves//Dark 3AM Thoughts

(Don't worry, I'm okay I swear, I'm just expressing myself.)

What To Do If You Catch Me Venting In A Conversation:

- liSTEN.

- Try to calm me down.

- DO NOT say that my emotions/things I am talking about are invalid.

- Put yourself in my shoes and try to see it from my perspective.

- Don't. Leave.

- Try and understand.

* I'll probably tell you sorry the next day or so if I find I'm overreacting. I'll probs just say I'm sorry in general.

"It's a sad truth that I will write about everyone I love, but none of them will even try and put me into a sentence."

- Dreaming of Wolves

"Don't cry," He whispered to the broken girl beside him on the ground, "you have me."

The girl choked on her own tears. Blood splattered on the dusty dirt ground below them. It was only them left.

"Now... Now the war is over," She wiped her tears away, "when my friends are all dead. And I'm still here."

- Dreaming of Wolves//Story Excerpt

"She's going to sit alone. Right at that same table where she built it all. Her happiness, her courage, her perseverance, but most importantly, where she met all of her friends. Now it's all crumbling down to her fingertips. She closes her eyes and tries to dream herself away into a reality where all of that still exsists, but she can't. It's all blank without the real thing... Without the real them. Complete nothingness. She can't even remember their voices. Everything is fading away from her. And everytime, she blames herself for something that she couldn't control. They've all left now; her friends. The girl lifts her head and stares at them. They're all happy. They all prance around, discussing random topics she used to talk about with them all of the time. She even sees her crush holding hands with her best friend. They don't even notice her. All of them go sit at their new table, completely forgetting about what once was. She weakly smiled as tears fell down her cheeks. Her heart ached for them. For someone. But she had no one. She put her head back down and waited for an escape. She pulled her sketchbook and poetry journal closer to her. They may only be objects, but they are all she has now. She pours her heart out crying. She couldn't hold it in any longer. Her fears were reality, and she somehow had to stay strong in this. But how could she stay strong when she wasn't going to be remembered by any of them? Was it all pointless to make memories in the first place? She just wanted to disappear. She then heard whispers all around her. It sounded like her friends, but that couldn't be. She lifted her head up and rubbed her eyes. A boy with a pretend smile and a sympathetic gaze pulled me into a hug.

"You're going to be okay, we're all going to be okay. I promise."

She cried into his chest until they all gathered around her and tackled her into a group hug.

Her friends.

They were here.

"I'm sorry for the mess I've created," She shyly whispered, "haven't you forgotten me, yet? I would've."

"How could we forget about you?" A raven haired boy asked, "We've been right here the whole time."

- Dreaming of Wolves//Vent

(I just... Sobbed while writing this.)

"How dare you. How dare you leave me when I am at my worst. You hold a blank stare as you shatter me with your words. Can't you see I'm bleeding out? You storm away and shut the door, and the only thing I can possibly think of is how I just lost you. And how much I'm going to miss you. But you don't care, and now I realize, you never did."

- Dreaming of Wolves//Vent

I am sick of hearing about shootings and death on the news. I am sick of having to hear about tragedies each day. I am sick of living in a world rooted in fear. I am scared to go to school. I am scared to go home. I am scared to go anywhere. There is no peace for this planet anymore. We need to come together as people. We need to heal those who are hurt. We need to focus on each other. We need to give the world a group hug. I am tired of living in fear. I want peace. And I am going to fight for it.

- dreamingofwolves

I'M DOING AN EXPERIMENT

To prove something to a friend, please

REBLOG IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES

LIKE IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS DON’T BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES