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What would buzzfeed unsolved look like in the dcu?

“This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we’ll be discussing the mysterious case of Jason Todd.”

—

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So… I may or may not have written an entire Conlang based on a single joke in Minecraft Parkour Civilization 2. That would be ridiculous. Aha. Hahahaha. Ha.

*cough*

A Quick Guide to Writing in Parkour

Flourish List.

You add these in front of blocks to change their meaning. There’s a key at the bottom containing the Parkour alphabet which demonstrates how the space, 180°, 360°, and 720° Flourishes are used to refer to specific English-Letter analogs.

_ = Space

C = 180° Flourish = 5 spaces

O = 360° Flourish = 10 spaces

8 = 720° Flourish = 20 spaces

? = Reverse = Reverses input

^ = Vertical Jump = Raises Intensity

v = Drop = Lowers Intensity

Block List.

These are the building blocks (lmfao) of the language and are what would be counted as an “input” or “letter”. Also included are short legends under each block describing what each flourish does to each block!

(Note! _,C,O, and 8 cannot be applied to any block other than [ ] and H)

[ ] = Block = Grammatical Value

(?[ ] = Capitalized)

(^[ ] = Impassioned)

(v[ ] = Depressed)

H = Fence = Numerical Value

(?H = Negative)

(^H = Exponential)

(vH = Square Root)

u = Pot = Period

(?u = Comma)

(^u = Hyphen/Equality)

(vu = Parentheses)

I = Pane = Question

(?I = Exclamation)

(^I = Command)

(vI = Sarcasm)

% = Brewing Stand = Addition

(?% = Subtraction)

(^% = Multiplication)

(v% = Division)

Alphabet

a = [ ]

b = _[ ]

c = __[ ]

ch = ___[ ]

d = ____[ ]

e = C[ ]

f = _C[ ]

g = __C[ ]

h = ___C[ ]

i = ____C[ ]

j = O[ ]

l = _O[ ]

m = __O[ ]

n = ___O[ ]

o = ____O[ ]

p = OC[ ]

r = _OC[ ]

s = __OC[ ]

sh = ___OC[ ]

t = ____OC[ ]

th = 8[ ]

u = _8[ ]

v = __8[ ]

w = __8[ ]

x = ___8[ ]

y = ____8[ ]

Numbers

0 = H

1 = _H

2 = __H

3 = ___H

4 = ____H

5 = CH

6 = _CH

7 = __CH

8 = ___CH

9 = ____CH

Now that you have all the tools, let’s put it all together~!

————————————

?8[ ]____C[ ]__OC[ ] ____C[ ]__OC[ ] OC[ ][ ]_OC[ ]__[ ]____O[ ]_8[ ]_OC[ ]?I

____CHH% _HH ^u _HHH

?C[ ][ ]____OC[ ] 8[ ]C[ ] _OC[ ]____C[ ]___[ ]^I

————————————

Big thanks to my friend PrismaticKoi for giving me the idea and helping me figure this all out! Working with her made this process super fun!!!

Enjoy Parkour-!!! I’ll be coding an English<—>Parkour translator at some point, so stick around to find that!!

All of you need to go watch Minecraft Parkour Civilization though. It’s seriously fantastic.

Die Katze

Listen, if I had the time I would just make Justice Leauge the mockumentary, lol.

this is how funkadelix philly went right

I'd dis u???

I think? (Am I too late?)

Ghost Sangwoo: you couldn't have gotten on that plane?

Newly Ghost Gihun: You couldn't have let the fucking money go?

------

Ghost Ali: *to Gihun* Hyung! I can't believe you're here with us! I was so upset about what happened! When I saw you joined the games again I was so shocked! you could say I--

Ghost Sangwoo: Please don't Ghost Ali: *glancing at Sangwoo* lost my marbles Ghost Sangwoo: I said I was sorry!

------ Ghost Saebyeok: but still. how did you not get that something was off with that In Ho person? his fake name gave it away Newly Ghost Gihun: ah. but there is one thing you failed to discover about me.

Ghost Saebyeok: and what is that? Newly Ghost Gihun: I am an idiot ---- Ghost Sangwoo: the former cop, the salesman, AND the Frontman. I didn't know you'd turn into a slut after I died. Newly Ghost Gihun: okay. First of all, I was already a slut. Second, I didn't even sleep with any of the men you mentioned. Third, you had many chances to fuck me but instead you decided to fuck me over. Ghost Sangwoo...does the offer still stand? Newly Ghost Gihun: of course the offer still stands! Ghost Saebyeok: First of all, you could have had any conversation in front me. Second, you could have had any conversation in front of me. Third, you could have had any conversation in front of me. ----- Ghost Ali: Hyung? Can I ask you a question? Newly Ghost Gihun: of course! you can ask me anything. Ghost Ali: what was up with the red hair? Newly Ghost Gihun: you can ask me anything I can answer. ---- Newly Ghost Gihun: In the end, I couldn’t convince enough people to stop playing. I failed to end the games, so… I don’t know if it was all worth it. Ghost Ali: Hyung... *stops when he notices someone walking down the street* Isn't...isn't that that the winner of this year's game? SQ Winner: there. This check is for 1 billion won. You can use this to pay off your debts and your mom's hospital bills. Person: thank you so much! I promise I'll pay you back! Once I pay my debts I'll borrow more money-- SQ Winner: no! you don't have to do that. If..if you want to pay me, you can do it on your pace at whenever is truly convinient for you. Or..or you don't have to pay me. At all. Person: this is a lot of money. you're practically giving it away. SQ Winner: no. I'm just..I'm just making you sure you don't go through.. *pauses* any more hardships. Person: thank you! I'll never forget this! SQ Winner: you're welcome! and stay away from hot guys with brief cases! Person: okay...? Ghost Ali: *to the winner who obviously can't hear him* good for you! Ghost Saebyeok: the principle you were fighting for..about how not everyone will succumb to greed and that there's still for humanity..I think we just proved it with this person. Newly Ghost Gihun: but it's just one person Ghost Ali: maybe..maybe the person they helped would pay it forward and those people would do the same! Ghost Saebyeok: And then they might end up helping more and more people. Ghost Sangwoo: and maybe that would be enough. Newly Ghost Gihun: yeah... maybe that would be enough. ----- Inho: Seong Gi hun was just an example of why you shouldn't try to... *continues to talk about Gi hun* Ghost Sangwoo: oh. Stop obssesing over Gi hun, already! You lost. His after life ass is mine. Ghost Ali: I mean no ill will, but the Front Man is kind of better looking than you, Hyung. Ghost Sae byeok: yeah, I think if he died and turned into a ghost he could have a shot with Gihun. Ghost Sangwoo: I hate both of you Ghost Saebyeok: oh what are you going to do? Kill us? Ghost Sangwoo: Ghost Ali: Ghost Saebyeok: Ghost Sangwoo: I said I was sorry!

LITERALLY!

Like sorry she isn't going to be making the best moral decisions all of the time. She is a traumatised child whose been put underneath a bunch of stress.

I never understood why people were so angry at Poppy at the end of chapter 4.

We have to remember that she'd just been told that Ollie (someone she's known for years!) was actually The Prototype, and had just threatened her!

I interpreted her leaving us as less than a "betrayal" and more like a moment of weakness. Poppy's head was clouded with panic and fear and did what most scared kids do.

Run away.

People want a flawed female character and yet they can't even handle Poppy.

"Poppy is evil" theories here and "I wanna punt Poppy" there

So sad. Poppy is a traumatized kid who got experimented on over and over again, got contacted by the Prototype disguised as Ollie to find out every bit about her while they were both constantly being taken apart. So he could later use that against her. The Prototype lied to her, saying they would leave after The Hour of Joy, which is why she initially agreed, only to then be told after The Hour that they would stay there forever since leaving would have people know they exist. People would continue to hurt them and people would be experimented on just like they had been. And she knew he was right. She just misses her dad, Ludwig.

But because she disagreed with whatever experiments he and Harley were doing, the Prototype locks her inside that case for years where only we finally let her out.

Initially she just wants to let us leave, but after defeating two Bigger Bodies? Defeating Huggy Wuggy might have just been luck, but defeating Huggy Wuggy AND Mommy Long Legs? That's skill. So she decides we are her best bet against the Prototype.

She has decided the Prototype's way isn't the right way, but killing everyone would be better. The human orphans are important, they can still be saved. But the Prototype, she herself and any other toy needs to die so this can never happen again. She doesn't like it, but it's the only way out she sees. Otherwise, she will just continue letting toys cannibalism one another like the Prototype currently is.

But then everything goes up in flames. Suddenly everyone is dead, she only has us and Kissy. She wouldn't suspect Ollie of any potential sabotage. She has known him for over 10 years! Since before The Hour of Joy. The Prototype would never have manipulated her for that long. But he has. And he threatens her with putting her back inside a prison she cannot escape from. So she runs, because she is still a scared little girl that has been trying to put on a brave face

You can disagree with her actions, but it's not like she had no reasons to do them. All the kids we met were put through the ringer and trying to act like Poppy is some evil bitch rather than a scared little girl when the game has shown the lengths these kids go to time and time again? That's missing the point

Dude, your pfp is absolutely adorable

Awe thanks! I got it off Pinterest lol :D <3333