Die Katze

A Quick Guide to Writing in Parkour

Flourish List.

You add these in front of blocks to change their meaning. There’s a key at the bottom containing the Parkour alphabet which demonstrates how the space, 180°, 360°, and 720° Flourishes are used to refer to specific English-Letter analogs.

_ = Space

C = 180° Flourish = 5 spaces

O = 360° Flourish = 10 spaces

8 = 720° Flourish = 20 spaces

? = Reverse = Reverses input

^ = Vertical Jump = Raises Intensity

v = Drop = Lowers Intensity

Block List.

These are the building blocks (lmfao) of the language and are what would be counted as an “input” or “letter”. Also included are short legends under each block describing what each flourish does to each block!

(Note! _,C,O, and 8 cannot be applied to any block other than [ ] and H)

[ ] = Block = Grammatical Value

(?[ ] = Capitalized)

(^[ ] = Impassioned)

(v[ ] = Depressed)

H = Fence = Numerical Value

(?H = Negative)

(^H = Exponential)

(vH = Square Root)

u = Pot = Period

(?u = Comma)

(^u = Hyphen/Equality)

(vu = Parentheses)

I = Pane = Question

(?I = Exclamation)

(^I = Command)

(vI = Sarcasm)

% = Brewing Stand = Addition

(?% = Subtraction)

(^% = Multiplication)

(v% = Division)

Alphabet

a = [ ]

b = _[ ]

c = __[ ]

ch = ___[ ]

d = ____[ ]

e = C[ ]

f = _C[ ]

g = __C[ ]

h = ___C[ ]

i = ____C[ ]

j = O[ ]

l = _O[ ]

m = __O[ ]

n = ___O[ ]

o = ____O[ ]

p = OC[ ]

r = _OC[ ]

s = __OC[ ]

sh = ___OC[ ]

t = ____OC[ ]

th = 8[ ]

u = _8[ ]

v = __8[ ]

w = __8[ ]

x = ___8[ ]

y = ____8[ ]

Numbers

0 = H

1 = _H

2 = __H

3 = ___H

4 = ____H

5 = CH

6 = _CH

7 = __CH

8 = ___CH

9 = ____CH

Now that you have all the tools, let’s put it all together~!

————————————

?8[ ]____C[ ]__OC[ ] ____C[ ]__OC[ ] OC[ ][ ]_OC[ ]__[ ]____O[ ]_8[ ]_OC[ ]?I

____CHH% _HH ^u _HHH

?C[ ][ ]____OC[ ] 8[ ]C[ ] _OC[ ]____C[ ]___[ ]^I

————————————

Big thanks to my friend PrismaticKoi for giving me the idea and helping me figure this all out! Working with her made this process super fun!!!

Enjoy Parkour-!!! I’ll be coding an English<—>Parkour translator at some point, so stick around to find that!!

All of you need to go watch Minecraft Parkour Civilization though. It’s seriously fantastic.

Dr. Fenton, Lex Luthor's Evil Assistant

Danny was looking for work on the East Coast, and because he's not fucking crazy, he centered his search on Not Gotham. Excluding that, most of the good job opportunities were in Metropolis under the nose of Superman. Danny wasn't mad that he had to be in Superman's city, in fact he was quite happy he didn't have to take charge when his residence was threatened, he just didn't like the fact that he was living under the perview of a government super.

So when he heard back from his application as a personal assistant at Lexcorp, the company headed by the one man Superman hated more than evil, he took it with glee.

When Lex Luthor saw the name Fenton cross his desk he had to stop and do a double take.

The Fenton patents were revolutionary, the technology they represented was game changing, but the rights to it was held in a deathgrip by their son, who, after their deaths, had refused any offers and redacted most information on the subject. To have Dr. Fenton in his building under his employ would be the perfect opportunity to get his hands on the patents that could change the world as they knew it.

Superman landing dramatically on Luthor's balcony: Lex, this is-

Danny, rolling by in an swivel chair: do you have an appointment?

Superman: this isn't a business meeting, I'm here to-

Danny: sorry Mr. Luthor doesn't take walk-ins.

Luthor: Dr. Fenton, have you given any thought to selling the rights to your parents' patents? That kind of technology could change the world.

Danny: I know. I don't think you know.

Luthor, eyes dilating like a cat seeing a bird: How are you so certain?

Danny: NDA's.

Red Robin sneaking into the LexCorp building at midnight: ...

Danny, raking in that sweet overtime:...

Danny: Do you have a warrant?

Red Robin: ... Yes?