Bpd culture is your fp talking to someone else and you feel so incredibly unloved and abandoned
.
(Me trying to convince myself to not throw up when I have to do things I volunteered to do)
I could stare at you forever. I wish you were mine.
(me, insane since the day i was born) sorry haha this has just been an off day for me
guilt eats away at my flesh. it settles in my bones. it lives within my chest.
I don’t know how to explain it but just being alive causes me pain
The world is too loud, existing is overwhelming, people expect so much more than I can give
I fail at being alive every single day
I feel so ashamed to be so broken
But I don’t know how to be any other way
I hate how obsessive I get. It isn’t normal, it isn’t healthy. And it does me more harm than good. You’d think though, really, that being obsessed would make someone flattered. Apparently not.
might be a bit sensitive but it annoys the shit out of me when people throw the word anxiety around and don’t really mean it. Like when something annoys them and they say “it gives me anxiety”. No. Because you are not having anxiety okay having anxiety is when after you make any and every decision your chest gets tight and you feel sick to your stomach and immediately regret that decision and your head starts going ekekwkfbwijdfhjwdnfnidksjdfjsknddj. it’s like a clamp around your head. It’s not synonymous with disliking something.
To avoid the sick feeling I get from talking to people about my feelings I am vomiting them out here, enjoy.
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