Store Worker: Would Miss Y/N L/N Come To The Front Desk?

Tony: Y/N, Peter, I’ve left a letter telling your guardians not to worry—

Y/N: They won’t.

Tony: That you’re safe—

Y/N: That’ll just depress them.

Tony: —and you’ll see them in a few weeks.

Peter: Do we have to?

Y/N: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.

Peter: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.

Loki: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting.

Peter: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Loki, negotiating with Steve & Bucky

Loki: We have Y/N. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed

Y/N: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I'm only worth ten thousand dollars?

Steve & Bucky:

Y/N: MAKE IT ONE MILLION-

Steve & Bucky, in unison: Y/N STOP

Bucky: I hate to to tell you this, but one of you was adopted.

Y/N & Steve:

Y/N: Was it Steve?

Y/N: If you had to choose between Steve and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Bucky: That depends, how much money are we talking about?

Steve: Bucky!

Y/N: 63 cents.

Bucky: …I’ll take the money.

Steve: BUCKY!!!

Loki: What's that?

Peter: Chocolate.

Loki: What's chocolate?

Peter: Candy. Do they not have candy where you're from?

Loki: Yeah. Grapes, nuts.

Peter: No wonder you're so bitter.

Y/N, to Sam: My life is in the hands of an idiot!

Sam, motioning to himself and Bucky: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

Nat: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*

Wanda: Hey, Nat, how was your day?

Nat: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Wanda* Hell.

Y/N, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?

Bucky: HELP! I TOLD Y/N I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Steve, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

*Y/N is talking about their past*

Y/N: I guess it was that day I came home to a cold, empty house, devoid of light and love, and I knew then that my sorrows would only grow.

Bucky: Y/N, this is the saddest life story I have ever heard! And you haven't even covered the teen years!

Steve: Oh, I'm sure it gets better!

Y/N: Ha! No, at eleven, things really took a turn for the worst.