Relationship Goals

It is incredible the change in Her.

I accept that until Mistress Toni takes my balls I will be caged for Her. @tonilipsticklesbian

"Accept that you will be wearing a chastity device for the rest of your life."

Maintenance

It’s amazing how quickly a submissive can harden. The everydayness of life kicks in. Work and kids and grocery shopping and the to-do list that never ends. Rules become routine. They fade into the background, rather than feeling like active engagement in the dynamic. For me, I begin to sort of calcify. I handle my life and fulfill my obligations. I make sure everyone has what they need, including my Dominant. But I become guarded with my emotions. I stop being vulnerable.

Then that moment happens. I am told to strip. I get into position, over a lap or the bed. Hands caress my body, but they don’t quite reach me. There’s static on the line. The connection feels distant and abstract. I know I’m submissive, but my heart isn’t kneeling with my body.

The first few swats land. The warmth radiates through me. Oh, how I’ve missed this. But then the pain grows. And I fight it. I tell myself to let it flow, breathe through it and accept it. But the world has hardened me. Why do I want this? Do I really want it? But of course I do. I know I need the surrender. I need to lay myself bare for the one who owns me. And with a hand or flogger or paddle or cane, I begin to find my way. The hardness melts away, and only connection remains. Pure energy flowing between us. I feel owned and loved, seen and chosen. I feel lighter and stronger. Centered.

Spankings wash away the hardness that weighs down my submissive heart. But they can also keep it from settling in. Scheduled maintenance tells me how long I have to carry the weight and when I will be able to put it down. Maintenance sounds so unsexy and unspontaneous because you know it’s coming. But for me, that’s part of the magic: I know it’s coming. I can count on it to be there. And somehow just the fact of that keeps me calm and open and deferential. I know I can trust my Dominant to show up for me—to strip me down to my core and remind me who I am and where I belong.

It is so easy to forget that I need this. I drift away from submissiveness at times. I think we all do. But maintenance reminds me why I submit. It makes me feel whole in a way that I’d almost forgotten. It reminds me that this is fundamentally who I am, not just a thing I do. Maintenance brings me back to myself and my partner. It feels like coming home.

one must grow to be engaged in life

Home alone,time to play😋

It is never a good sign when she tells you it is time for a workout dressed as she is.

Well said Charles

Boot season...so close.

False Assumptions & Beliefs about KInk

 People, and  tumblr porn make assumptions about Kink, Femdom, and BDSM all the time.   Here are the ones that drive me nuts. ( if you don’t agree.. rant on your own blog) 

1.  It’s not about sex, It’s all about sex.. .. It’s about service, it is about anticipating your dominants needs before they express it,  its about sex, however, actually having it is solely at the Dominants discretion.  It is about adoration, protection, and honoring your partner for what they give, and what you take..  

2, We all wear fetish clothes!  We do not need to be dressed in Latex and leather to dominant someone, nor are we typically.  Those outfits are typically uncomfortable, and not conducive to play, and reserved for parties and such.   Being dominant and having a fetish for  certain types of clothing are two different things and are mutually exclusive, and often don’t go together. 

3.  We all look like supermodels.. Hmph.. Really, have you been to a kinky party, club?  Most of us are average looking folks with every body type under the sun.  In fact the model images you see on Tumblr are rare to see in reality. 

4.  Everyone in Chasity, has a small dick, and never ever gets to fuck...   BULLSHIT!    They are at the beck and call of their owner to do whatever they want… and many get out to be fucked a hell of a lot. 

5.    You have to deny  your submissive sex and have a side lover. C'mon folks.. many people are content with their primary partner, and many aren’t.. Who cares.   This originates in the notion that being submissive is unmanly and undesirable, and it total rubbish.  Submissive men make excellent lovers, because they take direction.  If your not wanting to advocate and speak out for your own pleasure and enjoyment to them ladies, perhaps you are not that dominant.   Men can’t read minds,  tell them how you like it,  if you don’t know.. experiment until you do!  this leads to……

6.  That Mistresses should never be vulnerable or let their subs make love to them of fuck them.  I do not understand why people chose to deny themselves pleasure and happiness.  It is ok to be vulnerable, you are human, having/expressing emotions does not make you a submissive, anymore than fucking makes you dominant.  

7.  That all dominant women are male hating female supremacists, who need to micromanage all the little wanking men..  Fuck that!.. I love men….. and most are good guys.   If you feel that you have to micromanage and monitor someones activities of daily living.. I’m sorry, but they are not submissive.   

8. That men who cross-dress are gay, fags, and really want to be dominated by men, crave BBC and real women don’t consider them desirable, because they are not man enough….  BULLSHIT!  Many women I know have husbands and lovers that cross-dress for the humiliation aspect of it, at the direction of their wives..  or for simply the fetishistic enjoyment of the clothes, or to be our lesbian lovers for the evening.   They still have times when the are in boy mode, and/or girl mode.. it depends on the dominants mood.  

9.  That being a sadist means you have to leave a person looking like hamburger meat..  Please.. you can  torment a consenting individual with just a thought, and a few well chosen words.  One of my biggest gripes is the unsafe and unhealthy sadistic scenes I see depicted in images.  This scares off the newbies, and make people question exploring kink.   

10.  That everyone can be kinky..  you can’t make someone kinky,   Kink isn’t easy, in fact it is harder than most vanilla relationships, because it order for it to be good and work, you have to be able  to compatible outside of the kink and within the kink. If you really want your needs to be met you have to focus on the other persons needs above your own.. at the same time you must be completely free to honestly express & communicate your own needs and desires..  If both people are doing so, and one take the leads and the other follows, you have a symbiotic relationship that is healthy.   You should be able to laugh together, drink a cuppa tea, and cuddle,go out the dinner with friends, come home and   fuck, peg, be locked up in chastity, teased and tormented, worshiped and adored.  ..  Is it easy? NO!.. It is hard enough to find compatibility outside of kink, let alone within in. and many of us do what we can to get what we need, and for some that is Tumblr

Namaste~

Ms.Eden.Tx

#FLR #cuckLife

Those who know, know.

Dominatrix Annabelle