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Stories that would be improved by polyamory:

Dracula: it's basically a novel of kitchen-table polyamory already, but this way someone might actually kiss Jack Seward.

A Midsummer Night's Dream: just let them all have an orgy at the end. I feel like they'd be into it. Puck's invited too if he wants.

Bridget Jones' Diary: why force a choice between Mark and Daniel if there was the option to have both?

Any Arthuriana: less cheating, more honesty, fewer duels, more snogging, everyone's a winner.

Stories that would be made worse by polyamory:

Wuthering Heights: dear God do not give Cathy and Heathcliff a reason to drag more people into their terrible relationship than are already involved.

Just got a DVD player for my laptop! I'm gonna check out so many DVDs from my university's library

u used to be able to put a dvd in your computer. and then u could watch it

ice cold lemonade with your steaming hot steak

Well okay

Hey babe wanna take my spine? Not in a sexy way

Recently showed Pinocchio (1940) to my partner and it was delightful to see how much they hated Jiminy Cricket. They said that he was the "Jar-Jar Binks of the movie" and would have "overturned democracy if given the chance."

i'm hot and maladjusted it's literally fine

1950s Mini Crescent Moon Purse Christian Dior

You're either slutting with me or slutting against me.

a good mango smoothie can save your life a little