Ambruks - Ambruks

Let’s be honest

I am done not knowing where I should go or where I should be. I’m exhausted of thinking what I should do or what the future would bring. I’m admitting it tonight, that someone like me is as broken as a shattered glass. But I am also picking it up, little by little. Even if I had to touch every broken part of me. I am admitting that I cannot be repaired or be put together for now. And I think it’s okay. I may be hurting but I am also trying. Surviving. Breathing. I may not be living but at least I know what’s up and what’s not. Because I know, someday, if I might get clever or worse... get worse. But it’s still okay. I’m not hiding my broken parts anymore or denying every part of I am. They’re fragments of my life and they deserved to be acknowledged.

you: I am Diana of Themyscira, daughter of Hippolyta. In the name of all that is good, your wrath upon this world is over.

me, an intellectual: I am Moana of Matunui. You will board my boat and sail across the sea to restore the heart of Te Fiti

“You are more than enough and so much more.”

Words you need to hear coming from your own mouth

It’s as if I’ve made myself weak from loving every bits of you

Too many people are trying to find the right person instead of being the right person

neckkiss (via neckkiss)

‪2017 thoughts written on December 1: It’s the kind of happy - or maybe maybe not happy. But just feeling. All feeling. The feeling where you feel relieved that you are in the moment. Alive and breathing and fighting.‬

2018 thoughts written on February 1: Breathe. Free trial of 2018 just ended. You’re gonna be in for a year of self love and drive yourself to be better.

How did 2017 break me though

You know what’s the worst of crying?

It’s when you try to steady your breath, a tear escapes your eyes and suddenly you are a god damn waterfall.

It’s when a sound must escape your chest and you have this urge to stop it in your throat.

It’s when you can’t breathe out loud cause you know you’re gonna be on full bawling.

It’s when you have to put a hand over your mouth or bite something just to suppress everything and hope that if something else hurts you won’t notice the pain eating you inside.

It’s when your head starts to ache and hope you just fall asleep while holding tightly to your pillow or a blanket.

It’s when the world is quiet and the only noise you hear is coming out of you.

It’s when you thought you already healed and you remember the pain you’ve already forgotten.

It’s the worst of crying because while you want to release everything you can’t go looking at the past like it’s not affecting your present.

It’s the worst because no one can know. Not that you’re being stubborn or putting a brave face, it’s the worst because you chose to do it alone. Because you actually know what to do, you just don’t know how.

Tonight’s drama is on me. I dwell on it and guess whose heart hurts now? 🤷🏽‍♀️