Call Me Your Pretty Boy.

i am never going to be good enough.

you’re going to leave like everyone else.

whether it be because you got bored, or because i upset you, or because you realize i’m just not worth it,

you’re going to leave.

and i’m not ready for you to go just yet…

Of course i can be patient, I haven’t told you who I am yet have I? I hope your movie is good :3

-🌀

it was a good movie, i enjoyed it!

now, as for patience. thank for being such.

how has your day been, anon?

i’m needy. i’m disgusting. i’m useless.

i cry when you leave me alone for too long.

i cry when you praise me, because i don’t deserve it.

i cry when you degrade me, because i feel useless.

i’m such a stupid fucking mutt.

Maybe X anon realized this blog is an extension of your SH.

perhaps. i do wish the x anon would’ve dm’d me, however. i would’ve told them what was wrong, rather than tell the world.

my dm’s are always open, if you ever have personal questions.

remember, if YOU wouldn’t feel comfortable answering that question in front of a large crowd, i probably won’t feel comfortable answering if.

it sucks so much to be so desperate to feel loved, yet so incapable of beliving i deserve it...

the feelings i have arent anything new,, ive just been in denial for a while.. not the trauma feelings, the other ones..

-⛓

i understand.

i hope all goes well, but i feel uncomfortable on your behalf to continue talking about this publicly. this is dangerously information to give to the public.

however. we can continue talking, if you’d like.

please, don’t bother reading. it’s just another tw’d vent post. what’s the point.

god, i’m useless.

what kind of captain thinks like this? what kind of captain puts himself first? i’m pathetic.

i just want to be good for someone. i just want to be someone’s first choice, their favorite.

i don’t want to be a leftover. i don’t want to be left behind.

i don’t want to be alone again.

i can’t be alone again.

my thighs hurt so much. my head and fingers and toes are throbbing, probably from blood loss. i can’t keep doing this to myself.

i can’t keep running from my problems.

you mentioned having a busy day ahead of yourself, so i should probably let you get on with your tasks. good luck with your todo list. i will catch up with you later ^^ -⛓

well, if you wanted to stop talking, you’ve could’ve said so. /teasing. my todo list doesn’t start until around 9:30 my time. i’ve got a bit of time.

ive slowly been making less and less of an effort to hide things i think would give me away ^^' i have faith you will figure it out before i have the confidence to reveal myself hehehe -⛓

i have only the inkling of an idea.

y'know, oblivious. blissfully unaware. i'll give you some credit, though. i'm in a better mood. surprise, surprise ":^[

– ✘

i try to not confront certain things, especially if it’s negative. i act “blissfully unaware” in that sense.

what’s got you in such a good mood?

idek, some sort of vent.

god, i wonder what i look like in your mind. it surely won’t match up to me, right?

this body is not me. and i hate looking in the mirror and seeing that.

i don’t have a fucking cunt, of all things. i don’t have tits. i don’t have sinewy arms and soft hands.

the person in the mirror is not me.

will you still like me, even if i don’t match up to your expectations?