Y'know, Oblivious. Blissfully Unaware. I'll Give You Some Credit, Though. I'm In A Better Mood. Surprise,

a scalding hot shower, the warmth pelting my raw skin, sounds appropriate for not being able to handle an entire hour.

maybe that idea is right, only one way to find out/lh -⛓

using my own words against me, now, are we?

for someone who was so scared, your confidence sure did build up fast.

tw. you know the drill.

i’m nothing but a devoted mutt. a dirty, cheap whore. a disgusting, vile being that exists only for the pleasure of others.

i need someone to adore, someone to hurt me and love me, all at the same time. without a special person, a favorite person, i’m useless.

what good is a useless mutt?

i’m awful. no one will ever need me like i need them. i’m too damn needy…i cry when i get degraded too harshly, and when i get praised because i don’t deserve kind words ever, and when you leave me alone too long.

no one will ever need me like i need them.

do i really have to fucking die to mean something to someone.

Not to be an absolutely deplorable disgusting whore but like

What if we held each other softly and shared our deepest thoughts and interests with each other

What if we were completely vulnerable and raw, seeing every flaw and crack but still decided to accept each other exactly as is, rigged edges and all

Is that too slutty guys? I know I write some real fucked up shit is this too far-

my nap was longer then i thought.. morning my sweet captain.

-⛓

goodmorning!

a sorrowful source memory…? [tw]

i distinctly remember the aftermath of a particularly rough argument.

he accused me of never caring, of planning to leave. the jimmy i knew was quick to emotion, in every sense of the word: he was quick to fall in love as he was quick to anger. as this argument progressed, our voices were raised higher and higher. it got to the point where my own throat was sore, just from trying to be heard over his frantic yelling. once the end of the argument came about, we both took off to different rooms of the apartment we were sharing at the time. the apartment wasn’t anything too special, just somewhere we could crash when we weren’t doing shipments. he ended up in his (our shared) bedroom, and i ended up pacing the kitchen. about an hour later, he sulked out from the bedroom, and came to me in the kitchen. about 30 minutes into the wait, i decided that food could be a good peace offering, so i was cooking. nothing too extreme, just eggs, as we didn’t have much else in the apartment. i could hear him creep up behind me, wrapping his arms around my middle and laying his forehead on the back of my shoulder.

it was those tender moments that reminded me why i stuck around, why i adore/d him, why i was the sole devotee.

hmm . thinking ... you'd kinda furrow your eyebrow a bit, yer lips would be pressed into a thin line, your eye would twitch if you were concentrating too hard on trying to look determined.

it's the little things, captain. the ones you gloss over and the ones i catch. now, that quip about you being a grown man? yeah. but what are you to me?

– ✘

i’m your captain, and your friend, of course.

who says i gloss over them? i do my best to catch all the little quirks about all of you. it helps me adapt better to the people i’m around, to help them and take care of them in a more meaningful way.

What did I do to make myself genuinely unlikable

best friends forever.

what's with the ribbing? what don't i want other people thinking? real cold, curly. not something a best friend would assume about their other half.

– ✘

we are best friends, jimmy.

but last i remember, you were utterly terrified of people even daring to think i was better than you.

which i always thought was ridiculous. we’ve always been on equal footing.

i am not cold.