☆ — ❛ Threads With Annya. ❜ - Blog Posts

anvya‌:

annya finishes her handful of popcorn before answering his question, “i really love clue, it was my favorite. my dad would always win but he taught me his strategies and one time i actually guessed it on, like, the third round and my mom refused to play that game for a solid month.” she couldn’t help but laugh at the memories, soon longing to be back home and spend a whole day playing games and be around her parents. her life may have started off rough but she got lucky in the end to find people who finally cared about her. “i’ll have to make you play with me one day,” she smiles as her fingers trace through his hair before settling on his neck. to bring kian into a tradition she held so dear to her, she couldn’t help but grow a little excited with the idea. what if he came to meet her parents one day, and they got along so well, and soon he was invited to all the game nights and everything was just…perfect. “unless, uh, that’s too childish, of course. probably sounds lame,” she tries to wave it off with a laugh before reaching back for a few more bites of popcorn.

his next statement makes her raise an eyebrow before shaking her head, “you’re not boring at all. if anything, my picture is probably right next to the word boring in the dictionary.” maybe it was her own fault for feeling that way in the first place. there were plenty of times she could have gone out, hit up some random party and gained some regrettable experience, but at least it would be something. she chose to stay in her room and work on her designs, follow the rules and only hear about such experiences through the gossip vine at school. she’s pulled away from her thoughts one more, a horrible habit she does quite often, as kian peppers her with kisses that causes her smile to grow far too wide, soon happily kissing him back. this time, however, she pulls him back in, letting their lips collide for a little bit longer and a little bit stronger. there was no denying how kissing him always made swarm of butterflies fill her stomach, his lips almost like poison that she simply couldn’t get enough of. but soon she’s pulling away because maybe she was coming off too strong too fast… “can i ask you a stupid question?”

something akin to fondness tugs at the remnants of his heart when annya talks about spending time with her family and he vaguely wonders if his eyes ever light up like hers do. he wonders if there’s anything he’ll ever love that much. he finds that his body easily relaxes into her little touches though and he doesn’t even have to force a smile of adoration onto his face as he listens to her speak. maybe there is hope for him after all, he thinks. his brows nearly shoot into his hairline at her suggestion and he’s sort of taken aback. he’s been invited to family dinners before from many other partners, but he’s never once considered it. not until now. his features must betray him in that moment, conveying the fear that he feels, because annya is soon backtracking; she’s soon looking completely unsure of herself. and he hates it. “no, no—” he shakes his head, “not at all. it’s not lame or childish.” he assures her with a light laugh. he’s honored, in fact, but he knows that annya’s family would hate him. the real him, that is. but, then, he soon realizes that he’s jumping the gun and getting worked up over nothing. she’s inviting him to play with her, not her family. he deflates.

he quickly composes himself though (it’s what he’s good at) and beams at her. “if it means anything at all, you’re probably the most interesting person i’ve ever met.” he states. “you’re, dare i say, not like other girls.” he teases, smiling into their kiss. he isn’t one to let anyone truly take the reigns when it comes to his relationships, but he lets her. she moves at her own pace and when she deepens their kiss, he reciprocates happily. he’s debating in his head whether or not he should just go for it when her warmth disappears just as quickly as it came. he hates that he nearly sighs in frustration, but he blames it on him being a young dude. his body isn’t always exactly willing to cooperate. despite that, he’s quick to answer, “anything.” with a nod. “i mean, i’m not sure i’ll be able to answer but i’ll try.” he smiles encouragingly. “and i’m sure it’s not stupid, don’t say that. nothing you say is stupid.” he says, making sure that she has his undivided attention. his breath is trapped in his throat though, unsure of what she’s getting at and unsure if he can even tell the truth.

anvya‌:

“hey now, don’t make fun of my board games,” she giggles before poking his nose. grabbing a few pieces of popcorn, she tosses one in her mouth before feeding one to kian as well. “my dad always talked about the game nights he had with his parents and siblings and how he really enjoyed them, so he kind of passed that tradition down to me and my sibling. i’m sure most teenagers would rather do anything than play boardgames with their parents, but…i dunno, call me crazy, but i actually really enjoyed it.” of course, her feelings for why she enjoyed it ran much deeper than kian would understand. all she ever wanted was for her birth parents to acknowledge her, to simply say hi or i love you, and never got that. with her adoptive parents, they gave her that and more. they made time for her and her sibling, always making sure they reminded the both of them how important they were. because of that, game nights were her favorite time of the week. 

annya hadn’t realized she got lost in her thoughts until she feels kian kiss her, this time a littler deeper before pulling away, causing the girl to pout for a moment before shaking her head, “mm, as fun as that sounds, i kind of like where we are right now. just…being close and talking…” she blushes, simply because they were pretty close physically, and it was the most physical she truly had gotten with anyone. sure, annya had her first kiss in high school, and even let wandering hands fool around but nothing ever went further than that. despite her relationship with kian still being somewhat new, she actually felt more comfortable around him than she did with anyone else before. it was scary, yet almost comforting at the same time. “that sounds wonderful,” she smiles as he talks about california. “sunshine and warm weather all the time? my flowers and plants could have such a better place to grow. does that mean you’ve never built a snowman before? because if you haven’t, we might have to change that asap.” 

it’s around this time in his other relationships that kian would tune out, only nodding here and there in all the right spots to make them think he was listening. but when it comes to annya, he actually is listening. he wants to know everything about her, every little detail, and experience things that no one else has. he’s treading dangerous waters, but he just doesn’t know how to stop; he doesn’t know if he even wants to. “yeah?” he raises a brow, chewing on the piece of popcorn she had fed him. “which was your favorite?” he asks. he has honestly never once in his life played a board game and can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to sit down with his father and do something so simple. they couldn’t even be in the same house together without wanting to rip each other’s heads off. it tugs on something buried deep within him and reminds him that nothing about his upbringing was normal. and nothing about his life ever will be.

he doesn’t feel sorry for himself though because he’s worked through all that and he’s accepted it. but that doesn’t stop the what ifs from swirling around in his head. “really? i’m kinda boring.” he smiles, watching as the blush blooms across her cheeks. he finds it incredibly endearing, but it makes him wonder. he and annya have never really discussed their past sexual experiences and they also haven’t gone very far together. his endeavors paint a long list, but he’s good at reading people and he has a feeling that hers is much, much shorter. that’s why he has to be careful. he doesn’t want to push her away. he brings his right hand up and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, chewing on the inside of his cheek. he’s used to playing the part of the perfect boyfriend, but he’s never had to worry about what messing it up might mean. “nope.” he confirms, popping the ‘p’. “i mean, i’ve built a sand snowman but never an actual one.” he explains. “to be honest, i’m not a huge fan of the cold. call me a pussy but i’d much—” he pauses to plant a kiss to the corner of her mouth, “rather—” he places another to the opposite side, “stay—” and finally captures her lips with his own, “right here.”

anvya‌:

annya was barley following the movie if she were to be honest, but it was something mind numbing for them to watch as they tried to wait out this terrible snowstorm. at least he was with her, the two cuddling close and simply enjoying each other’s company. to her, that was enough. she nods as he leaves to make some more popcorn, her eyes following him for a moment before glancing back at the t.v. sure, she’s had a few relationships in the past during high school, and while they were great, she knew they wouldn’t last forever. the connection she made with them wasn’t as strong as she believed it should be. however, when it came to kian, something felt…different. she was falling for him, quite hard, and suddenly their relationship was starting to reach places she’s never explored before. was she terrified? absolutely, yet kind of excited as well. she’s now starting the rest of her life, and she didn’t mind if she got lucky in finding someone sooner than she thought.

she hums softly into his kiss before shrugging her shoulders, “you’re right, i haven’t really been paying attention.” she admits with a small blush that only worsens with his cute little line, causing her to bury her face into his shoulder for a moment with a quick laugh. looking back up at him, she steals another kiss, or three, before turning off the t.v completely. “hm…well there’s always a few video games we can play. you can’t go wrong with mairo kart, right? or there’s some board games i have some where…” she turns her head to look around for a moment, trying to remember where she put them before facing him once more. “or i can always make you another costume,” she teases with a light laugh before moving to straddle his lap, her arms hanging loosely around his neck as she kisses his forehead, than cheek, than lips once more. “what sounds good to you?”

he slips back into place beside her easily, fitting his arm behind her again, and it’s like all those movies where they claim to be puzzle pieces. it really is like they were made for each other. but kian knows that isn’t true. he was never meant to be happy, never meant to be with someone. he doesn’t deserve it. but she makes him feel like he does. “board games?” he repeats with a quirk of his brow. “are you sixty or five? i can’t tell.” he teases. but all rational thought flies out of his mind when she moves to straddle him and his hands immediately settle on her waist. she just fits so perfectly against him that it should be illegal. he shouldn’t be allowed to have her. especially not like this. but he still takes and takes because he’s selfish. he’ll keep her for however long it takes for her to realize that he’s a monster. “hm.” he hums, eyes closing as she peppers sweet kisses on his face and lips.

“what were we talking about again?” he smiles, pressing his lips to hers a little harder. he doesn’t dare deepen it before he’s pulling away again. and it’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he’s not trying to push her. for once in his life, he’s actually thinking about someone else before himself. surely he deserves some kind of award. “we could just do this? i’m good with that.” he suggests, unable to stop smiling. and not one of the fake ones either, this one is genuine. “or we could go sledding, i guess? i’m not really sure what people do during snowstorms.” he admits. “this is my first one. don’t get much snow in california. or, you know, any other kind of weather besides constant sunshine.” he explains. “tragic, i know. truly a first world problem.” he says, letting his hands fall slightly to rest just below her hips as his thumbs rub her thighs gently.

☆ — who : @anvya ☆ — when : november of 2017 ☆ — where : pugh hall dormitory

kian is in uncharted territory; everything is so new and unfamiliar. a part of him wants to run and never look back, but he can’t. annya keeps him grounded to the spot with some unseen magnetic force. but it’s all just so exhausting. it’s like he’s slipped into his facade, like he’s pretending, without doing so at all. the line between reality and the world he’s created is starting to blur and the cracks are starting to show. for once in his life, he’s scared of how it’s all going to end. “i’m gonna grab some more popcorn.” he says, removing his arm from behind her as he stands from the bed. he just needs a minute to breathe, to calm himself down. all they’re doing is watching a movie in her dorm, something completely normal, and he’s damn near having an existential crisis. grabbing the nearly empty bowl on the bedside table, he makes the short trek to the attached kitchenette and places it on the counter. he manages to keep his hands from shaking as he takes a bag of popcorn from the cabinet and tosses it into the microwave.

when the sound fills the room, he allows his eyes to close and lets out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. he and annya have been official for a couple of months now after initially meeting at freshman orientation, but it’s so incredibly different from anyone else that he’s dated that he wonders if he’ll even survive it. the most jarring revelation is that this isn’t a game to him for once. he actually doesn’t want to hurt her. and that’s terrifying, as sick as it sounds. when the microwave goes off, emitting the universal beep that signals the popcorn is ready, he pulls himself together and opens the door. his motions are robotic and even though he burns himself as he pours it into the bowl, he doesn’t even flinch. “this movie kinda sucks, huh?” he smiles as he rounds the corner back into the room. in truth, he hasn’t been watching it. he doesn’t even know what it’s about. “if there wasn’t a snowstorm outside, we could’ve actually did something fun.” he says.

he sets the bowl down in its previous place and leans over to give her a short kiss on the lips. “i guess i can deal though if it means spending time with you.” he states, internally cringing. he’s delivered that same line to a million other people, but it feels wrong doing the same to her. at least he means it this time.