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Conversations I've had with my bird in the last 24 hours:
"You cannot eat the power cable."
"I need my arrow key back, please."
"Please stop eating my desk."
"Is there a rule that says you MUST poop on my laptop screen?"
"You need to get down off the ceiling fan."
"I need my shift key back, please."
"Can you please teach your friend that he is capable of flying OUT of the bedroom instead of just flying into it and then screaming when we aren't with him?"
"Please stop serenading the dog."
"It looks like someone exploded a feather pillow in here."
"Please stop sending unintelligible messages to my friends, and I need my enter key back, please."