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I feel like part of the allure of reading challenging books, was because you didn't have to, and in many ways you weren't "supposed" to at that age.
IDK man, maybe, just.... pretend that those college books were made for someone a decade older than you, and all that awesome knowledge you're acquiring was stolen from the cup of societal norms.
shoutout to 5th grade me for having a college reading level and apparently using up all future motivation for actual college age me to read what i’m supposed to. you 10 year old asshole