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lately I've been thinking a lot about spencer reid x bau! reader where she used to be a shield special agent and was kind of like peter parker and wanda maximoff rolled into one, but no one on the team knows it because she changed her name and all that and she’s like so badass
Somewhere during the early days of the Justice League - Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Flash - all got stuck on an alien planet.
For whatever reason, the alien inhabitents wouldn't let the gang leave until there was a union of a male and female being at the church alter.
(Obv, that's marriage)
Now, it's obvious to everyone involved that someone had to marry Wonder Woman, aka, the only female there. That or they had to marry a random female from that alien planet, which was immediately ruled out cause of how sketchy they were.
(Seriously, who traps random people that accidentaly got onto your planet and doesn't let them leave until they got married???)
But Wonder Woman CLEARLY wasn't comfortable with that, cause as much as she loved her friends, marriage was a very sacred ceremony that happened once in a life time and needed very specific planning and execution (think of some kind of ancient themyscira customs).
Batman also expressed unwillingness to get married, which was quite understandabble, he was Batman, a 'solitary' hero.
They could try to forcefully escape, but that would be difficult + that planet was fairly close to earth and they under any circumstances couldn't afford for an alien invasion.
(Like I said before, or maybe not, the aliens were really persistent about the whole marriage thing. They said it was either that or WAR)
As Batman and Wonder Woman were arguing with the head priest to let them go, Superman turned to Flash and whispered,
"I don't think that priest is going to let us of the hook, and those two are way too stubborn to accept this, so how 'bout WE get married instead?"
Flash is undestandibly very confused cause the priest clearly specified that the 'union' had to be between male and female, and uh, they were both males.
Just then, a crazy thought crossed his mind. Hesitantly, he asked Superman whether he could change genders.
To that, Superman simply smiled, and said thet he'd return in a bit.
It was only after Superman left did Flash truly realise what this meant. He was going to get married to Superman. SUPERMAN. The man of steel. Krypton's last son. A very nice, kind and handsome fella.
Sure, he didn't have any romantic feelings for Supes, but he sure as hell wasn't going to say no to that.
(Also it's not like he really could, but we won't dwell on that)
Superman discretely informed one of the other priests of the situation and was given the bridal attire and such. So was Flash.
Batman and Wonder Woman were quite confused when a bunch of the aliens began rushing around and decorating the alter, but that all cleared up when they saw Flash in the groom's attire.
The priest was gracious enough to let the bride and groom decide how they wanted the wedding to happen, so they went with a typical Christian wedding.
Wonder Woman was the Best Maid and Batman was the Man Of Honour.
When the time came for the bride to walk in, and absolutely stunning Fem!Supeman walked in. Her eyes were just as blue and gorgeous as her male conterpart, and she was just as, if not, more prettier that ever. Her hair seemed to become longer, and swirled around her like a golden blanket, blah blah blah…..
(Fill the rest with you imagination)
But one thing that Flash wasn't aware of (Or anyone for that matter), was that Kryptoian females tend to be exponentially larger than the males. And more built.
(kinda like spiders.)
Since 6 foot Flash was always shorter than the 6'3 (or 6'4 if you prefer) MALE Superman, he was atleast 5 feet shorter that his bride.
Batman would never admit it, but he nearly passed out when he saw Superman walk onto the alter. And he absolutely Was.Not.Jealous. Not one bit.
Wonder Woman one the other hand was more open with her attraction, asking him why he never showed her his female form, to which Superman shrugged and replied that he never had to.
So they get married, and hug at the end instead of kiss, which Batman was quite grateful for.
(and Wonder Woman if you'd like)
After that, the gang could finally leave, biut before that, Batman made everyone swear to keep what happened under wrap.
(For security reasons he said)
So fast forward several years into the future where everyone forgot about the incident.
One day, Batman (and Wonder Woman) decide to confess his(their) love to Superman, to which Superman gives them an absolutely scandalous look.
(If just superbat, then wonder woman can just hide behind a tree or smth. For moral support)
Flash appears out of nowhere and goes on about how dare he(they) profess love to his wife. They were there at the damn wedding and were even the man of honour and best maid.
The gears slowly turn in both of their heads as they soon realised that technically, Flash and Superman never did get divorced and were therefore, still married.
Cue the batkids absolutely losing it over comms (+ some the other JL members and gotham rogues + Lois Lane).
Bonus points if Green lantern recorded the whole thing and proceeded to tease Batman about it for MONTHS.
Even more bonus points if Tim steps in and argues that TECHNICALLY Flash only married Superman's female form, and not the man himself. Which meant that Batman (and Wonder WOman) COULD infact date him without it being considered cheating.
Even MORE bonus points if Flash and Fem!Supes occasionally go out on platonic dates for no other reason other than the fact that it's hilarious.
(They do it every time Batman is annoying. Wonder Woman think's it's funny and quite fair)