Someone Is Stalking My Blog And It’s Totty - Blog Posts

Chapter 2 : A Matter of Adaptation

Written by @lordofthesillystraws and @todd-pinefield. Chapter header by @todd-pinefield.

The six clones line back up at the wall, watching Dekapan write in a notepad and Iyami giving Dekapan instructions. As Dekapan finishes writing down the info of each clone, Iyami grabs Yoshimatsu’s hand and starts dragging him forward.

“Come, Yoshimatsu! You and your brothers will accompany me to-”

Iyami is quickly interrupted by Dekapan pulling Yoshimatsu back and away from him.

“Hoeh! Not just yet, dasu! They’re still naked and are very vulnerable to becoming ill from the germs outside!”

“It’s not like they’re babies, zansu. Just look at them.”

Iyami gestures to the other five as Dekapan brings Yoshimatsu back to his place. They are very much adult men.

“They essentially are, dasu! They were just created! We have to let them adjust to their environment, dasu. Although…” Dekapan steps back a bit, stroking his chin in thought. “Where do we put them, dasu?”

A loud call from Dayon can be heard across the room as he opens the door to the barely used basement.

“Ah, good idea, dasu!”

Dekapan waddles over to the basement door with Dayon following behind him and shutting the door, leaving Iyami with the naked cloned sextuplets standing near a wall. All six of them stare at the older man in front of them. Iyami walks up to them to get a good look.

“Ugh, look at you all, zansu… You aren’t fit at all! Going outside like that?”

Iyami looks around and grabs some scissors from a nearby desk.

“These will do, zansu!”

He proclaimed as he grabbed Suimatsu by the arm, pulling him close and aiming the scissors at his hair. With a few snips here and there, Suimatsu’s hair just about looks like a regular Matsuno! Well… Almost.

“Ah.”

Suimatsu mutters as he looks at his uneven fringe cut. He seems unfazed.

“Damn it, zansu! Must have angled it wrong…”

Iyami lets go of Suimatsu, letting him walk back to his position in line. Iyami scans the rest of them, choosing who the next victim shall be.

“You, zansu.”

Iyami says before grabbing Kanashimatsu’s hand, which is followed by a loud cry.

“No! Let me go!”

Kanashimatsu cries as he wriggles in Iyami’s grasp. Iyami angles his scissors just right to make a clean cut on his bangs, and a bit of his back hair. Kanashimatsu’s eyes flood with tears as Iyami calls that work good enough, and lets him walk back to his spot in line. Iyami looks to Yoshimatsu, playing with his hair a bit. Just before Iyami can grab him, he’s quickly stopped by Yoshimatsu gripping his wrist.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Yoshimatsu warns in a dull, monotone voice. Iyami chuckles nervously as he pulls himself away, grabbing Goyomatsu in the process.

“Your turn, zansu...”

Goyomatsu stares up at Iyami, quivering in fear.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Eventually, all six have received an impromptu haircut, just in time for the professor’s return. Dekapan steps out from the basement, holding the door open.

“Hoeh! Everything’s ready, dasu!”

He walks up to the Iyami, about to ask him what he’s been doing, before he turns to see the sextuplet clones fully groomed and clothed in hospital gowns.

“Uhyohyohyo~!” Iyami laughs. “Don’t they look perfect, zansu?”

Iyami seems quite proud of his handiwork, despite just… borrowing a pair of scissors and six gowns from some bin in Dekapan’s lab.

“Soon enough, they’ll be ready to follow me around in the streets of Akatsuka Ward, zansu!”

Dekapan stares blankly at Iyami as Dayon ushers the clones down to the basement.

“Hoeh…”

All six are led down to the basement, which looks similar to a day room. There are a few plants in the corners of the room, a couch, a whiteboard, some bookshelves, and a table in the middle. There is also what seems to be a chemistry table. Out of curiosity, Daikimatsu walks over to take a closer look, only to bump into an invisible barrier.

“Dr. Dekapan says you can’t touch that, dayon!”

Dayon warns a little too late as Daikimatsu rubs his forehead.

“So… We’re staying down here?”

Kanashimatsu asks, fidgeting with his now shorter hair.

“Seems like it.”

Suimatsu replies, blowing a bit of hair away from his eyes.

“For how long?”

“Until you guys are ready to go outside, dayon!”

“And when will we be ready?”

Goyomatsu asks. It is met with a shrug from Dayon before he turns to walk back up the stairs. The six are left there once again, just as confused as they were earlier.

Before Goyomatsu could even comment on it, a loud “Uhyo~!” can be heard from up the stairs. Iyami walks down, files folders in hand.

“Alright, NEETs! You six are to be the new sextuplets, zansu. To do that, you guys’ll have to get used to your roles, zansu.”

Iyami hands each of them their own folders, all of them color coded accordingly. Upon opening his, Yoshimatsu sees a paper consisting of a list of Osomatsu’s behaviors, and a description of him. Beside that are pictures of him, ranging from his face and some candid photos taken from far away. Yoshimatsu furrows his eyebrows in concern.

“In each folder is a checklist of things you should do, zansu. Me expects you to perfect them as soon as possible, zansu!”

“...Sorry.” Shimatsu starts as he closes his folder back up, “I am not going to act like a cutesy pansy boy. I’d rather die.”

“Sheeh!!” Iyami strikes his signature pose, “You have no choice, zansu! It’s either that or punishment for you!”

Iyami hits Shimatsu on the head, making him yell out in pain.

“Your intensive training starts in a few days, zansu. Get your act together, zansu!”

The six hesitate before nodding their heads, reluctantly accepting the instructions given to them. Iyami smiles in satisfaction before heading back up the stairs and walking out, shutting the door behind him. The six look around at their new living quarters. A ratty futon, a small, splintering wooden table, a rather dusty-looking sofa, a closet with nothing in it, a cramped bathroom, a bookshelf, and a wall-mounted whiteboard… It looked about as sad as a starter apartment. Well, at least it was cozy. Kinda.