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TW: SH, Suicide attempt, hospitals
The hospital was freezing, and my whole body hurt, but I couldn't focus on that. I couldn't focus on anything else, knowing that Kakashi had just saved me from fucking killing myself, and now he knew everything. The door to my hospital room opened slowly, creaking along the way. Kakashi entered the room and slowly walked over to my bed. I made sure to be facing away from him; I didn't want to look at him because I knew I'd cry; I don't like crying. "Sasuke? Are you awake? The nurse said you were."
Kakashi's voice was soft and far too kind; he was pitying me. I hate pity so much, my father never gave me pity. Not when I would cry because my body hurt from training, not when I told him that the training was too hard. He never pitied me and he scolded my mother when she tried to in his place. I ignored Kakashi, hoping he'd just go away.
"You really scared me Sasuke. You scared all of us, Naruto and Sakura are waiting on the lobby. I didn't tell them how you ended up like this but they'll figure it out eventually."
No, no, no, fuck. Goddamnit! I hate this, I hate people worrying about me. I hate being attached to people, I hate it so much. Why can't they just leave me the fuck alone. I just need to kill my brother and then I can die peacefully, this attempt was just a moment of weakness.
"Sasuke... If you want me to leave I will. I'm not going to make you talk, but if you never talk to anyone you're never going to get better. You're exempt from missions until you get better, no more training either." After his last statement, I heard Kakashi's footsteps and then a door opening and closing.
That was the final straw. I let the pathetic sounds I'd been holding in escape, tears streaming down my face as I curled further into myself. I curl my fingers around the sheets under me as if I'm going to slip away.
I hate this so much, I know I'm sick in the head, I know there's something wrong with me, I don't want to get better. I need to stay feeling like this, it's the only way I can defeat him. I need to be sick. My hands slip to my arm and my nails dig into my pale skin. I dig at not fully healed cuts and bright red starts to trail down my arm. I dig deeper and deeper until I hear a voice. A familiar, scratchy, irritating voice.
“Sasuke?”