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do you think ash used to be religious and wished for a god to save him as a child. do you think realising nobody was coming to his rescue was his first experience with crushing loneliness. do you think that loneliness crawled into his skin and used his rotting body to start the fire of hatred. hatred for the monsters around him. hatred for a non-existent god and false promises. hatred for himself. do you think he wished so desperately for eiji to be saved that he was willing to put that hatred aside. that he was willing to accept the problem lay within him, that god did exist and he, aslan jade callenreese, was just unworthy of that god's benevolence, so it would be okay if he traded his life for eiji's.
my friends ask why i don’t talk to them. they say they’re there for me and want to listen to my problems like i do for them. i’m not used to doing that i try to avoid it cuz i normally regret it for no reason later. but i tried telling my friend. i told them that i was sad amd frustrated and needed help and that this certain thing was the problem. i wasn’t asking for them to do anything for me except listen and let me know that my feelings were valid and they cared like they said. all they responded with was “oof.” like thanks for letting me know this was a terrible idea