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Manic Depressive - Blog Posts
I have this really bad problem of constantly acting how other expect. This is currently an issue bc when I met my friends I was in a manic phase (bipolar) and am currently in a more down area. So not only do I have to overreact and be hypher around them, this bleeds over to my personal life. I'm typically a very introverted person with a few exceptions, but I have to act happy to talk to them an it so annoying! Like bro jst let me be emo :( bc my preferred style is earthy yet kind of emo, yk like therian kind of style. But I allso dress scenmo on occasion so I'm jst pretending like that's my mane style bc that's what they expect!
notes app poetry for the sad girls
✨️CATATONIC ✨️
I don't want to write about how i feel
bc I feel like shit
& im so fucking sick of it
it's like every day it's the same damn tricks
she's manic again it never quits
the grey mush is spreading nice
all around the brain twice
maybe if they feed it, that will be suffice
pain oozing, it's been sliced
we're at this point, the point we hate
where now our mental state
is up for debate
as if our fate won't devastate
oh for god fucking sake
please let this feeling go away
I'm finished now I don't want to play
if it must, it can stay
to keep the monsters at bay
we can't afford for them to come out and pray
is it my density to be this mad
is this hell or wonderland
why is everything so brightly colored
why is every noise muffled
I look in the mirror, oh no who's this
it looks like someone different
someone familiar but not quite right
you're hiding out in plain sight
that's you that's you that's you, you scream
the mirrored image is baffling
that's not me
oh wait, I see
my reflection, how could this be
change something immediately
work tediously
so they don't see
how you're bursting out through every seam
hurry now, they're so mean
they'll never understand defeat
sinking you within concrete
do whatever you can to avoid the carnival
it doesn't matter how loud you shout
once you're in you'll never get out
I'm not really one to air on the side of caution
But eveything you've put me through
Has changed everything forever
It's not fair I'm burdened by your memory
I'll never forgive you for that