Joel Smallishbeans - Blog Posts

My drawing of Gem and Joel that I did for Bluet! We’ll see if she finds this teehee.

The pose is based off of one of the photos from my collection of Gerard and Mikey Way having chaotic sibling energy, because yes I will be making everything about MCR until the I-missed-their-concert blues wears off.

(Also bluet if you do find this I saw your post about collabs and I would love love love to collab again sometime but first I’ve got get the thirty wips I’ve got half finished done, dusted, and posted, plus this big project which may or may not happen)

OG photo beneath the cut

wishing everyone an extremely belated happy national dye your hair day! We’ve got all of our hair dye champ lifers celebrating the very serious and important holiday with a braid train except it’s actually a hair dye train.

Lizzie, just pick one and hop to it because Scott-with-his-roots-showing is deeply unsettling for unclear reasons. Also the reason Lizzie is dressed like that is because I headcannon that Joel got home from limited life and Lizzie was immediately like “the bad boys outfit is mine now btw”. Also Etho is paying literally zero attention to what’s going on. Also everyone currently getting dyed is wearing clothes they don’t care about as much or a towel to keep the dye from staining anything except for Joel because he can’t be bothered to change. Btw I know I’ve been falling off my bug Joel and glasses Etho game but im back, baby!

in other news I wasn’t able to go to the concert My Chem did cause it was on the literal other side of the country from me and I’m really sad like im gonna be whining about this for forever.

omg no way me too! Ahh the joys of being AFAB.

Anyway ur sona’s real pretty op, ‘twas fun to draw.

(Also guys the reason I’m all decked in MCR merch is because they are doing a concert soon and I can’t go and this is how I’m coping)

projecting my period cramps onto joel smallishbeans.

I’ve been in the art block trenches y’all, so if my last two piece for Joel week ever get done then it’ll probably be a while from now so in the meantime here’s some sketchbook brainstorming I did a while ago for them

I drew these a while ago and I think the internet really needs to see

I drew Joel and then couldn’t decide who I wanted to draw him with so I drew both. Also no they aren’t floating there was a background but it was bad but I promise there is a chair there it’s just, invisible, ig.

also in other news I’m having a real bad day so um I’m taking a page out of Joel’s-guide-to-convincing-people-to-like-you specifically the one about guilt tripping; please leave comments and nice tags in reblogs on this or any of my stuff guys I’m so so tired and I feel not good, bad even, and I spend so long on these drawings for a couple likes and a few tagless reblogs and like if you write comments and put nice things in the tags you know I read it right? Like it genuinely makes my day and like even if you really loved my artwork and you rarely hand out likes but made an exception or something I don’t know that unless you tell me please tell me if you like my stuff I’m feelin’ real low. And also send in asks. Please I beg of thee. Art reqs are wide open. They are pulling you in like Charybdis or whatever that vortex monster thing was called. It’s like commissions except I don’t charge anything. Please I’m running so low on ideas.

I wanted to do something for Halloween, because I freakin’ love Halloween.

so I drew my favorite guy bein’ all scary.

Now he and Etho will match forever <3

guys do Halloween stuff I need to see the hype everywhere come on it’s like the internet collectively forgot about October 31 like where are are all my cringy diy decorations and soul destroying body horror art and drawings of every one’s favs in silly costumes and ao3 one shots of characters doing Halloween stuff and/or being horribly tortured in the name of the spooky season? Like the actual day isn’t half as fun as the lead up to it!

Also I’ve been kinda feeling like I’ve been spewing art out into the void here so like just so ya know comments and asks actually make my day. Thanks!

Here’s a pun I find funny:

do you occupy space and possess mass? You matter! Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then, you energy.

number 3 on my wip finishing to-do list: that one pixel art I’ve had half done for far too long

Pivotal smalletho moment^

Thank you /@ethosiab for explaining how to use a pixel art resizer, it is now not bug sized or blurificated, so I take that as a win!

also I think it may be a sign of a problem that I’m now at the point where I can draw the relation from memory.

sketchbooking!!!! Just some doodles ‘n stuff.

These are drawings of: I-fell-victim-to-the-creaking-Etho-propaganda, random drawings of Joel, Bdubs being his wonderful self (I drew the bdubs and the Joels on the same day and was apparently not feeling particularly creative with outfits), wild life Martyn just trying to read the enchanter book while he’s being screamed at by Mr. and Mr. Paranoid in Formal Wear, and a painting of Joel experiencing joy and whimsy that I am *extremely* proud of.

in other news I’m currently playing 3-d chess with the art block demons so post might slow down but on my list of things the should get done and dusted hopefully soon:

My last two pieces for 7 holy nights of Jeremy (I promise I’m working on them guys I just need more time!!)

Some more mtg au art of our favorite kamigawan planeswalkers

a pixel art piece that has been sitting half finished for way too long

a surprise thing that I’m excited for that may or may not happen so don’t take my word for it

more MCR x the life series drawings (I’ve been calling it project Minecraft Romance in my head because My Chemical and Minecraft have the same initials and also it’s really stupid and I crack up every time I think about it)

more traditional art

maybe some writing?????? (Don’t get your hopes up though this is like a maybe maybe maybe)

other stuff I forgot

my Undertale brainrot came back from the dead to punch me in the face again so maybe some stuff about that.

If you guys have any art requests I will happily take them please send me ammunition for my battle with art block!

more mtg au stuff!!!!! I was thinking about what everyone would look like if I put them on a different plane than I originally intended (for non-magic-players: plane refers to, like, a plane of existence. Every plane in the magic the gathering multiverse is like it’s own little world with stories and characters and completely different setting. It’s pretty rad) and I’ve been listened to the soundtrack for the streets of New Capenna non-stop recently so I decided everyone needed to join the various demon mafia. Because I’m just. Like that. I suppose.

This is Joel’s design, and it’s the one finished piece I have, because of course. His design is inspired by anhelo, and that’s halo on his face, which is technically-the-blood-of-angels but we don’t talk about that.

This one’s Etho and it isn’t finished but I just got bored working on it honestly.

this is scar and gem. It says join us because that the song from the soundtrack that fits them. Also they want to recruit you to their demon mafia gang family thing.

in this version of the au (which I’m not sure if it counts as it’s own separate au or not lol) I currently have figured out Joel, Tango, Grian Pearl, Martyn, Scott, Etho, Cleo, Scar, and Gem

summary of the lore of Capenna below the cut unless it cuts me off earlier because I’m too rambly lol

the phyrexians, a race of machine monsters bent on conquering the multiverse that would take several hours to properly summarize the lore of so let’s just say they are bad, are attacking the plane of Capenna, so the arch-angels and arch-demons, fearing destruction, team up to create the city of New Capenna (wow guys such a creative name) with the help of the dragon Ziatora. The population of old Capenna (as in, everyone living on Capenna) journeys to the new city, those who make it onto the elevators surviving and the rest locked out as the city is sealed against phyrexians, left to die. Thus, the entire population of the plane now is in New Capenna. However, the demons and angels who build the city are worried because all it would take is for one phyrexian to make it into the city for it too infect everyone else. The demons took note of how the mere presence of the angels drove of the mechanical army, so they decided to betray the angels and capture them to turn them into a barrier surrounding the city. Because they were evenly matched in power, the demons had to sacrifice themselves to capture the angels, so they signed a contract with five powerful beings as their successors, making the individuals more powerful but also amplifying their vices, to lead the city in their stead. They then launched the attack, imprisoning the angels before vanishing, never to be seen again. The angels are trapped at various points along the edge of the city to form a barrier against the phyrexians. A side affects of this imprisonment sees the angels physical bodies being slowly converted into halo, the fuel of the new age. It makes magical spells more powerful, aids in teleportation, is used as currency, and…I’m not gonna lie guys, it’s drugs. It’s magical angel blood drugs. That is the function it serves. Moving on! The five beings who signed the contracts with the arch-demons were the dragon Ziatora (same one who helped build the city), the sphinx Raffine, the cat demon Jetmir, the vampire Anhelo, and the bird demon Falco Spara. The five found what are essentially demon mafia families. Ziatora runs the Riveteers, the hardworking destructive family, where every member needs to constantly prove their worth. The Riveteers have the largest stockpile of Halo because they helped build the city. Raffine runs the Obscura, mystical fortune tellers and prophets. They can predict the future and stuff. Jetmir runs the Cabaretti, the party-ers of New Capenna. They run the festivals and restaurants and do all the fun stuff. Also chef Rocco appreciation enby icon cabaretti chef and fabulous all around. anhelo runs the Maestros, the elite assassins of New Capenna. A bunch of them are also vampires so they’ve got this whole immortality thing going for them. They are also art collectors. Because you gotta have hobbies, ig. Falco Spara runs the Brokers, a mafia family of demonic lawyers. Yayyyy!/sarc. Anyway because this is getting long I’ll skip ahead so when the last free angel in the city dies that releases the arch-angels, but the families and the angels are forced to temporarily cooperate to fend off the phrexian invasion as they finally manage to infiltrate the city with the release of the angels. Yada yada yada, a bunch of stuff gets destroyed, a bunch of people die, and then they win and the angels go and kill the remaining demons as revenge. Hurrah, we made it! That was your super quick crash course on the history of New Capenna!

here's spoilers for day 2 of joel week (not really)

Shortgrass (scale accurate)

fanart of @insomnya777’s fabulous fic!!!!!!! Go read it!!!!!!! (Is it okey that I linked it? Cause if that’s a problem I can remove the link)

I don’t actually know much about Sabrina carpenter so all I had to go off of for Joel’s outfit was “the pink one” lol and I’m lazy so I was just like screw it I’ll just make him, like, Eye wateringly pink. And then my internet went out halfway through drawing this because apparently the universe doesn’t appreciate fine art when it sees it so I just had to go off of what I remembered, so apologies if it’s inaccurate. Also it was so fun reading it for the first time, getting to the headcannons at the end, and then going back and reading it a second time and giggling the whole time like “teehee they’re gonna get married one day” lol.

also I just know that Etho is this au is the most infuriatingly oblivious person ever, like he’s sobbing to Gem “I think I’m in love with him but he could never possibly love me back!!!!!” And Gem has to be like “Etho. Before he had even met you he called you his future husband live onstage and dedicated a song that’s about a bit more than love to you. He then asked you out to dinner, made sure you were single, and asked for your number. He likes you.” And Ethos like “nooooo but he was just joking!”

I started drawing this during the episode as soon as what the wild card did was revealed, you guys I was manifesting this so hard you have no idea.

It happened, ok? To me. In my heart of hearts.

spent 5 hours on this y’all I’m tired.

I wasn’t trying to draw them but I got distracted ok? Regardless I’m actually so proud of how it came out this is very outside of my comfort zone but I think it’s really nice but everyone I showed it to said it was creepy and ugly or laughed please guys my ego has taken critical damage please encourage me.

also, unrelated, but a good piece of safety advice: if something is clearly labeled “LASER TUBE” do not touch it, ok? Getting laser’d hurts. I speak from recent personal experience.

Something something esmp1

biblically accurate jizzie

what if… dnd au but instead of them being heroes and adventures within the dnd universe, they are just a bunch of nerds playing tabletops rpgs together?

like, Tango is the dm who has spent forever crafting the perfect home brew campaign and is determined to make it the most amazing campaign any of them have ever been part of. He’s got the custom maps and characters figures and costumes and voices and one session he even brings in a fog machine for ambience. He’s like the perfect dm to a bunch of perfectly terrible players who will only encourage each others worst dnd habits.

Etho is the one whose been playing dnd since, like, edition 1, and who shows up to the first session of the campaign and starts describing his character and someone’s like “are you playing kakashi from naruto?” And Etho’s like “oh is that who this is? I just found it premade online and thought it sounded cool” and he’s got the emo backstory and looks real cool but is in reality not actually that good of a character and whoever made it horribly messed up the stat distribution but for some reason he always avoids death and it stuck with the underpowered not-kakashi for forever.

Joel is the murder hobo (it’s a dnd term guys trust) who tries to kill everything who also renames all his spells and weapons on dnd beyond to really silly things and then forgets what they were originally and needs someone to translate for him. He will always make sure things get out of hand, accidentally starting cults, making sure the party is always at least mildly morally gray, killing people left and right, aggressively shipping his character with other peoples jus because. He is the embodiment of chaotic neutral. (He says he is chaotic evil in the life series but I think he is more chaotic neutral because chaotic evil will cause chaos for the sake of evil and chaotic neutral will cause evil for the sake of chaos)

Bdubs is the one constantly trying to befriend everything, who also unnecessarily narrates everything he is doing (ex. “I Am RAISING my EYEBROWS at you!!!!”) and he has a million pets and always makes Tango explain what each one is doing at that moment every five seconds and is constantly yelling at Joel for killing everything while Joel is always yelling at him for befriending everything. He will argue that the dice are rigged if he rolls badly and 100% has one of those dice time out chairs and will be extremely superstitious about which dice he uses.

Jimmy is the one who keeps having really great ideas but really terrible luck with the dice rolls, and always manages to stumble into traps. He’s also the only one trying to actually follow the rules and remain completely in character, like everyone’s like “oh it’s probably over here!” And Jimmy’d be like “yeah WE know that but guys our characters wouldn’t!!!!!!!!” And he’s like the perfect player in terms of how nice and easy he makes it for Tango to dm but is terrible at the actual gameplay. He will loudly boast to the enemy that they are about to “get WRECKED, FOOLS!” And pulls out a spell that should kill them instantly if he rolls anything but a nat 1, and guess what he rolls lol.

Scar is the one whose character dies first session and he just picks up a pen, writes “jr” next to the character name, and shouts “I’ve come to avenge my father!” he’d also name his character something like “Hotstuff McSexyman” (if Joel doesn’t take that name first) but actually be surprisingly wholesome and moral, if kinda bad at combat. Extremely oblivious as a player, Tango has to spell out the answer for each puzzle and he will kill an ally genuinely thinking that it’s an enemy.

Grian is the one playing a firmly non-human character who has just the most normal guy core backstory, like “yeah I’m Clarence, I’m 45 with a wife and kids and I’m going on this adventure to celebrate my retirement.” But he’s like a lizard guy or something

Gem is the one who makes a really nice and sweet and normal dnd character and then combat starts and she takes out a magical great sword powerful enough to one shot the BBEG (it stands for big bad evil guy and it’s real dnd term. Gotta love nerd culture) and rolls a nat 20. She is also the only reliably sane one here (Grian goes about managing his sanity like he does shifts at the permit office, and Etho is sane but his character turns out actually to be pretty ineffective at, like, everything so there’s not much he can do except have the privilege of being driven insane rather than already being so. Everyone else is a maniac, some just their characters but not in real life, some are just as crazy “irl” [as in within the au] as their characters)

there is a lot more that could be done with this and a bunch of other people to include these are just the initial thoughts I had.

Joel’s episode:

My alternative piece for day 5: lore! This was actually what I was planning to post day-of, but I wasn’t able to get it finished in time so I posted a drawing that I happened to have finished at the time, even if it didn’t really match the prompt lol.

anyway my pieces for today and tomorrows prompt may be a little late, depending upon when I’m able to finish them.

It was a lot harder to let go during limited life than in the past.

come on Joel! You can do it! Win that series! 7th times the charm! Cause if you lose me the betting pool a seventh time in a row I will personally come and murder you ^^! for legal reasons that was a joke.

…

*shuffles papers* uhh don’t gamble, kids.

(Just wanted to clarify: we don’t bet real money. My sister, a couple of neighbors, and I make a life series betting pool where you are allowed to contribute basically anything but money. Sometimes it’s normal things like a bag of candy or a favorite book, and sometimes someone decides put their 3-D printer on the line. For Jimmy. The printer now lives happily in its new home. Occasionally the original owner is permitted to use it. Anyway it’s all for fun and we all go in knowing there is a chance that we will lose our bets. So far I have lost three different books, the label maker, the rights to pick what’s on tv for a year, and a bag of glitter for Joel.)

also, the reason he has skizz sleeves is because we all like to ruin the surprise for ourselves as soon as we can. Curse you name mc /silly.

You better not lose me my MCR: The Black Parade poster Joel, or I’ll. I’ll. I’ll. Um. I don’t know what I’ll do, but it’ll be real bad. Be scared.

alt versions below the cut vvv

Joel week day 4!!!!!! I made another silly one, just trying to make up for whatever angst fest my day three was lol. The prompt was headcannons, and I don’t know if I headcannon this so much as I just kinda wanted to draw this lol I was kinda out of ideas at this point. This is actually the last piece that I have pre-prepared, so idk what state the last two are going to be in.

A while ago I posted a bunch of low quality doodles and sketches of a silly idea I had of Joelina Carpenter, basically the Joel equivalent to Ariana Griande for Grian, and I wanted to draw them again, because idk they are silly and this is for silly lol

They would sing born this way by lady Gaga. Because I said so. Also Ariana is a rapper. To me.

lurv ur art it is butter and sprinkles and hot chocolate and other nice things. A smallishbeans, perhaps, for the Jeremys? Jere..Jeremies? Jere…you know what I’m trying to say spell. Joel fans. Fans of Joel. Even smaller beans, if you will (or if you won’t). In any case, love ur art!!!!!

2 for the price of one!

Day four!! This one I went a bit sillier on, but I had a ton of fun!

it’s @risibledeer’s anime Joel!! I love this guy so much, he’s so silly!!!!(Btw, everyone go show her some love for organizing this event!)

also I realized I’ve been neglecting to mention in my post said event, so to clarify this is for 7 holy nights of Jeremy, aka Joel week

anime Joel you will always be famous <3

Since we can also do our own aus and designs, I’m also going to include an unfinished doodle from my mtg au that’s been sitting for forever and I’m never going to finish so oh well. It’s pretty weird lol, I just figured that if I was basing Joel off of Tamiyo, he should get the Tamiyo treatment (as in fate worse than death and all that) Then Etho appeared, idk how that happened/silly I know how it’s because I’m totally normal about boat boys lol. I’m hiding it below the cut cause tbh I’m kinda embarrassed lol.

I know we usually use the crane wives as like the go-too fandom songs, and no hate there love the crane wives, but I also think it’s fun to consider other bands for fitting the life series. Like, I would love to see everyone taking their absolute favorite band and making a metaphorical conspiracy board with red yarn and a crazed look in their eyes as they stab the thing in the middle that all the string leads to and everything for how it connects to the life series. For instance, I love My Chemical Romance and I think their music fits really well with the life series, so here are six wips that I will hopefully improve upon and color later connecting some specific songs to, well, really just the bad boys and their double life pairings at the moment, just cause it worked out that way that those are the ones I got into posting shape first, but I have tons more in the works and I’m really excited to share^^! Also sorry for the really long rambling post lol

I’m probably most proud of the boat boys one, but over all I’m really proud of these in general and hope to finish this project at some point, although given the scale that I’m going for that might not be for a while lol. Also if you wish for me to elaborate on my choices, I will gladly do so!

songs below cut vvv

it’s day threeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is probably my favorite piece out of all the ones I’ve prepared so far, although I’m a little nervous to share given that I put a poem on it and I’m not much of a writer, but I’m really proud how it came out in the end regardless. I wanted to go for a style reminiscent of a dark fairytale, and tried to challenge myself by going out of my comfort zone for pretty much every aspect of this piece lol. Also I signed my name all fancy because idk I wanted too.

The sketch I did which I’m also pretty proud of below the cut, I made it at like 3 am so excuse some of the weirdness lol vvvv

The poem ended up being a lot longer in the actual thing.

it’s day two!!!! Prompt: obsession! I think you all can predict what Mr. Boat Boys Brainrot thought of for this lol…

I put in 7 Etho references in Joel’s outfit lol, see if you can catch them all (you might have to click to unblurify the image lol)

also that’s meant to be pix during Hermitcraft recap, hopefully that’s clear what with all the “Hermitcraft recap”s all over. Also I’m really proud of that background behind Joel, I based it off a reference picture of his base and I think it came out really nicely.

also bonus sketch:

I know it’s sideways but oh well, I still think it’s funny even if it didn’t get used lol.

Edit I totally forgot to tag lol that’s embarrassing

I pixeled the guy ever. This is my first time trying pixel art, so I think it came out alright all things considered!

for some reason it’s teeny tiny and i have no clue how to unshrinkify him so uh i guess click for non bug Joel? (It’s ok you’ll always be a bug to me Joel smallishbeans ^^)

ITS THE NIGHT. ITS THE THING. THE SEVEN HOLY NIGHTS OF JEREMY HATH BEGUN.

Since @imolyhollowcold asked to see the smalletho x floral canyon essay, I shall share. Because I have to rewrite everything to make it actually readable since for some reason I decided to write the whole thing on paper and im not gonna give myself a headache trying to go back and forth typing it up, I’m gonna have to post it in parts.

here’s part 1/6, everybody’s falling in love, I hope it’s legible lol.

Here is the song:

it’s time! It’s here! Hurrah! It’s the week of Joel!!!!!! Everyone get ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 1: throwback

I decided here to draw my favorite Joel moment ever when He screams “YOU ARE A FAILURE” at the top of his lung during secret life and then immediately backpedaling with “…sorry I’ve had a really long episode.”

also the earrings say Life Merch because, well it’s Joel he sure isn’t famous for his subtly.

edit: I totally forgot to mention what this is actually a throwback to lol, this is from secret life.

!!! 7 Holy Nights of Jeremy aka Joel Week is Coming Soon !!!

read on to learn more! vvvvv

Do you like Joel Smallishbeans? If you said no, you answered incorrectly. Also why are you still reading this? This post is clearly very in-favor of the yelly beans man. If you said yes, congrats, today is your lucky day, because, surprise surprise, I am also a fan. This is a propaganda poster totally normal info sheet about Joel Smallishbeans Week, otherwise known as 7 Holy Nights of Jeremy, welcoming fans new and old to participate in a week of prompts dedicated to the man himself, the smallest of beans and the tallest of Joels, Joel Smallishbeans! The event is run by @risibledeer, and uh, not to brag, but *checks nails all cool-like* I’m friends with her and stuff and she asked me to make this poster. So yeah. I’m basically really cool by proxy. Go check out Risi’s pinned post for the prompt list!

If you are a faithful Jeremy, but are only just finding out about this event and are panicking because you only have three days to put together your pieces, not to worry! We’re not gonna not enjoy your art / writing / live donkey / other thing just because it’s a little late! The more participants, the better. Spread the word of Jeremy throughout the land of tumblr, no matter how long it takes you! Or don’t, if you don’t feel like it, ig.

There is no pressure to do all the days, do whatever you want to, any level of participation is welcome, appreciated, and encouraged!

We are all very excited to see all the new Joel content, so make sure to tag any Joel Week related posts as #7 holy nights of Jeremy! (I have no idea if tags are case sensitive but just in case [puns lol] go with all lower case as that’s what is used in the prompt post) so that we can find and admire your stuff!

If you are interested in participating, first of all, great, go right ahead, second of all, make sure to reblog this post, or the prompt list, or both, so that Joel week can reach as many Jeremys and otherwise potential participants as possible!

(Also Risi does this make me one of the hosts lol?)