Idk What This Is - Blog Posts

Sapphic religious poetry rant cuz my last exam is tomorrow🥲

My whole life, I've been told Lying is a sin to God But He can see right through your soul Something you cannot control

So why should I not lie When what happens once I die Is He judges and proclaims Who will burn in Hell's flames

And the Judgement he gives out Is fair and just, that I don't doubt But anything I've left unsaid Be it bad, or harsh, or well Before Him all will spread And I'll have nothing left to mell

So, if He sees all that untold All restrained lies now unfold Will it matter I kept it in That I caged it all within?

Pastors answer me with no Parents claim they do not know Friends toy around the issue Strangers often hand me a tissue

Wiping the shame right off my face I adopt an even pace Trying hard to hide the truth Of mistakes in my long lost youth Made in spontaneous reaction Once I felt my first attraction

She was like the sun's first rays And as if I was blind for days She enlightened me a path And that's when I met Cath

Short for Catherine, her name Sounded too holy for this plane She blessed my days with light and grace She took me in her sweet embrace

And that is when the lying started As I answered when prompted That we were only ever friends And that's as long as our relationship extends.

But Cath was tired of lying And one day, when she was crying She drew a line between us two She flew away for someplace new

I lost her

I lost myself

I lost my faith

I lost my light

I lost my truth

I lost my lies

I lost myself within my lies  And I lost her within my truth

But how could I hold onto all When my body's so small All the feelings, thoughts contained Day by day all that I reined Would sometime all combust And that would've been the worst

But that day had come It was gone and left me numb To the feelings of regret That I blunted with a cigarette And now I lay awake at night Trying to discern what is right And I come to the same conclusion That only births in me confusion

Why did I hurt the one I love How could I hunt down a dove Why hide such a common action As the one that's called attraction Beneath a veil of lies That God himself despises?

Americans and their need to join one thing with another ... but never mind the fact that she herself didn't have a specific citizenship, The one in Greece was sketchy at best considering Aretha Hatzi was presumed dead anyway. Pretty sure she'd be dead in absentia by this point; but Arie hadn't given much thought to look into the woman's life all that much in a few years. Ice cream and coffee? Two very opposite things and yet, she had to admit, the smell was nice at least. That didn't stop her from ordering a large coffee, black, two sugars.

Minding her business would be easier if people didn't randomly speak into existence a conversation, even if it wasn't really for her. "Depends, pal. How many cups have you had so far?" Arie wondered, doing some calculation of just how much caffiene would kill a man who looked as sleep deprived as he said. "I'm surprised quite frankly. Don't most brains shut off the need to sleep for awhile at some point? That's not to mention the fact that you'll start slipping into micro naps eventually." Which could suck, if he's driving.

LOCATION: THE CREAMERY ICE CREAM & COFFEE BAR @anchoragestarters ( no cap )

Getting arrested on suspicion of... something, was rather rare for Matevos, even if he led a life of crime on the side. He more often got off with a warning or he managed to avoid getting caught all together. This time was different, but he didn’t try to think about it too much. Because he did wonder what had happened to Fallon and Rei. He knew they weren’t responsible, that was such an out-of-this-world idea that even the fact that they had been accused was laughable. Still. 

Part of him felt like he hadn’t given his ruse his all, worried that he could’ve done more to make sure they were let go just like him.

He ordered another coffee and downed it like a man possessed, leaning his full body on the table and staring at the empty coffee cup. “At what time do you think caffeine stops working? I’ve been awake for 72 hours and I’m not sure this is doing what I want it anymore.”

I saw a Grammarly ad today and got inspired lol

pov: one, two Grammarly is coming for you

You hear Grammarly in the distance, their long nails scraping across the walls of the hall. You're trying hard not to hyperventilate. Hand flies over your mouth in horror when your childhood lamp falls, then shatters. The lamp was made by your late-great grandmother in 1939. She was a film writer with a side hobby of making pottery. You look at the ceiling, Sorry, Grandma, you inwardly apologize to yourself, and everyone you've ever wronged too. This is what it feels like when your life flashes before your eyes. The scraping stops, you inhale sharply. This is it, this is how I die, is the only thing you find yourself thinking. A soft knock follows shortly after the scraping stops, You imagine their tall pale head snapping towards your door, fingers clawing at it. Surprisingly there is no clawing, just a gentle knock. You check to make sure the door is locked, firmly. You whip out your phone, then put it away again. No use in calling the police now, it's already over for you. You know your family is next. A soft hum can be heard from outside your bedroom, then a loud slam. You peer out from your hiding place. A long, white hand with lengthy nails has broken through your door. There is a hole in the door, right above the silver handle. You retract your body back immediately, but you know it's no use. They will get you eventually. You are eternally doomed. As you expected, they sniff you out. The last thing you see is that haunting pale hand. The last thing you smell is fear. The last thing you touch is the fine brown carpet of your childhood bedroom. The last thing you taste is your bloody lip, which you damaged earlier in the frantic escape. You will never escape again. The last thing you hear is this quiet, almost angelic serenade, "Writing isn't easy. That's why Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy, and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader. Much better. Are you ready to give it a try...?"

I left tumblr about 6 years ago bc it stressed me out tbh. Now, I decided to come back, made a new account, and it’s so much fun! A lot has changed from what I remember and I’m very confused tho. 🫣

if there's a stairway to heaven is there also a stairway to hell or is it an elevator that breaks down and traps you 10 times in the way.

I won't do a Theme everyday, cuz i know i will cry but here is a non-human/bruised-blood theme thing idk man. i made this randomly :c

Man, if I had a nickel for every time someone asked if/assumed I was autistic, I'd have at least a few dollars. Which isn't Nearly enough to afford a diagnosis, but it probably means something.

It's Fulbright Friday‼️😀

i don’t know if this is just me but.. seeing clips of noah schnapp in stranger things playing a gay high schooler struggling with his sexuality actually hurts so much more now.

we all watched who we thought was the straightest boy ever play the character of a gay teenager so well, not knowing that behind the whole “i’m inlove with zendaya” persona was his own form of hiding his sexuality and feeling insecure.

idk but i’m in my feels and i hope this makes sense???

This puppy climbed there itself

hi *disappears*

Jeverus/Snames is a thing?

I just found out that there are people who ship James Potter with Snape and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m not trying to shame anyone, but you’ve got Marauder stans and Snape stans and then you’ve got people who think they belong together? How? Where’s the logic behind that? I’m genuinely curious.

Eubean Reporter

Drabbles of Dreams

Falling

        I gaze down at the streets. The world is set to monotone. Blacks and greys everywhere. No colour, no change, no difference.

        The busy cars, and crowded sidewalks are a jumble of monotone.

        Is this what colour blind people see?

        I look down at my wrists. Seeing darkened marks and silvery chains decorating them.

        Those chains look connected to something. I try and see but they only fade into the distance.

        The chains tug, and I follow with a jerk. Wide eyed, I realize I'm falling.

        Falling,

        And falling,

        And falling.

        But, I'm light. As light as a feather. It feels so slow, the feeling of falling, yet so liberating, freeing.

        I love it and want it to last forever. 

        The ground bellow me shatters as I hit it. I'm not dead, the world is now black all around me, and I'm being dragged down.

        I feel something cold hit my body, which ultimately makes me feel heavier. I wish I was still falling, though the cool sensation is nice.

        I'm still being dragged, so long I loose even more sense of time and I realize at some point, the cold turned into freezing.

        It's unpleasant, uncomfortable- no painful, and suffocating.

        It's like I'm drowning, but I don't need to breath or see, since it's dark and nothing's there to look at anyway.

        I don't know how long the silver chains have been pulling me but it seems as though it's been forever when I see something. 

        It's - red.

Colour? Why is it red? I thought.

        It drew closer and closer until I realized it was flickering. Flame. 

        The flame grew bigger and brighter one moment, then smaller and weaker the next. It seemed as though it was dying, so the chains stopped and released me so I could move to it.

        The flame flickered as I drew near and I paused my movements a little. I cupped my hands around it and realized it wasn't warm. It was warmer than the area around me though, and helped me see, so I stayed, finding comfort in the small flame. 

        The flame started to lick me and get hotter. Surely enough, it burned me.

        I started falling back, father and farther, until I forgot all about the flame and the emotions I felt before, only the awareness I felt something, and did something moments ago lingered.

        I was suddenly aware of the feeling of something soft on my back and the darkness slowly faded until I saw the darkness of my ceiling with the red of my alarm clock highlighting my face.

        I was awake.

Don’t mind me just learning how to make ridiculous shit 

It was a strange thing, to be so connected to so many. To hear so many thoughts and feel the tremor of even their deepest, darkest emotions. However deeply buried they might have been, she felt them, a distant tremor in the base of her skull that she could so easily diminish. To reach out and pull at a single string and watch the entwinement of all who belonged to her and the book unravel within the palm of her hand. Too often, it left her giddy. “Tepiltzin, I was wondering when you’d find your way back to me.” They always did - it wasn’t often that one could experience all that she could offer and find such an infinite way to sever themselves. Greed was a rife poison that lingered in even the most well-rounded of creatures. Without second thought, she moves; each step neither too prominent nor inaudible as she finds herself within reach, fingertips shifting the flesh of his upper lip until she can press the pad of her thumb into the fang that elongates under the will of her own thought, “I’m not sure I like you better this way, but I suppose we shall see, won’t we?” Her vessel bleeds, a bead of crimson growing until it spills onto his lip. Even as one of the fallen, the power she carries stains that of the being she possesses, offering him but a menial taste of what he’d once had. “Is that what this is about? You want to join the band of God-killers?”

          a gift for @fxllenpythia​,

note: kisskiss, love a beca

              The Necronomicon and, tethered by that, the Pythia had once consumed his druidic life. When Seth had come forth a vampire, progeny of Mars, life was so drastically transformed that he thought little of his former proclivities, relished in wreaking newfound havoc with new abilities, lost sight of his former pursuit of necromancy. What worth was it to a vampire? Seth had never once aligned himself with anything or anyone, every ambition or desire claimed was for his own selfish gain, but the Asphodel had killed the First; a God. That was worth it’s weight in gold, it was something he could see his own former smarts within necromancy, his power now as a vampire, embellished by. “Remember me?” He’s emptily teasing, the Pythia had so many under their command, the Criminal couldn’t imagine they’d know each and every one, still there was flattery in recognition and Seth pitifully held out silent hope. He’s casual, like some louche predator despite the fact the Pythia is far more influential and menacing, Seth leans on the wall behind him, grinning as though they’re old friends, “Whatever God is next on the list, I’m interested.”

doodeling little creachures today..