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Hiiii I have literally read through your entire blog today after reading one of your latest fics and finding out your blog is entirely about Dazai so I figured I might as well request something, now that I have read everything (I need more).
So how about a Ada! Dazai and Pm! Dazai with a s/o that instead of just asking for a kiss they steal something from him right in front of his face and then just run away and ask for a kiss in exchange for the stolen item. I just thought about this and I figured it would be a pretty funny scenario :)
tysm anon! i hope you like this just as much!
PM!dazai
"I know you aren't gonna hurt me, Dazai," you grinned, watching as he stalked towards you after you stole his tie.
"Not if you give me what I want," he responds promptly. As much as he loves blowing off work, Mori might not be so forgiving if he's late to this particular meeting. "I'll go without my tie, if you'd prefer."
You let out a dramatic gasp, hand flying over your mouth. "And break uniform?! How unprofessional!"
"The Port Mafia doesn't have a uniform— "
"No, that simply won't do. You'll have to take this tie from me, yes yes," you nod at your own words, as though it was the logical conclusion.
A few steps brings Dazai closer to you, causing you to grin. You stand promptly in place, not letting him scare you back into a corner. "I know you won't hurt me."
"You already said that. What can I do to make my darling little partner give me back my tie?"
You pretend to ponder for a long moment, letting out a low hum and looking away with a hand on your chin. "What can you do, what can you do..." you click your tongue. "Gosh, I don't know!"
"Gosh?"
"Why, I suppose a kiss," you pause for emphasis, "might be adequate..."
Dazai stalks even closer, only a few inches away from you. Breath catching in your throat, you lose all playfulness, just staring into his big brown doe eyes like a lovesick puppy. You gulp before closing your own, slowly leaning in...
"Yoink! Gotcha!" Dazai pulls the tie from your loosened grip, taking a step back with a victorious grin.
"Did you just say yoink— "
"Never take your eyes off the enemy, darling! Surely you know that by now," he presses the tip of his pointer finger to your nose. "You're cute, but next time try a little harder." Slipping on his tie and barely tightening it around his neck, he sends you a blasé wave. "I'm headed to my meeting now. Maybe you can try again when I get back."
You stand still with a dumbfounded look on your face, watching as he leaves the room. An embarrassed blush decorates your cheeks; your boyfriend is such an asshole.
ADA!dazai
"You're taking your poor, innocent boyfriend's pen? How am I supposed to fill out my reports now?"
You only giggle mischievously in response, holding his pen behind your back. "Guess you'll want it back then?"
He hums for a moment before sighing. "Well, if my lovely partner wants it who am I to take it from them?" Dazai replies in adoration, elbows planted on his desk as he rests his head in his palms. "Besides, you're quite cute when you act all proud of yourself. What's on your mind, cutie?"
A pout takes the place of your grin. "Don't you want your pen back?.."
Even though he just said no, Dazai stands up and nods after a moment. Hands dangling at his sides impatiently, wanting nothing more than to hold you, he decides to play along. "My favorite pen," he pouts back. "Please can I have it back? What do you want in return?" Of course he knew this wasn't for no reason. You wanted him to want the pen, so you could wager it for something else.
You decide not to comment on how he was being so obvious about only playing along for your sake — either way, you'll get your desired outcome. "Maybe... a kiss?"
Dazai grins. "Why didn't you say so!" he replies with excitement, practically jumping onto you to press his lips to yours and slide his hands into your sweatshirt's pockets.
You drop the pen accidentally, caught off guard by his sudden action. Quickly, you place your arms on his shoulders and kiss back.
Pulling back, he grabs your hand and starts for the Agency's door. "Mm, my partner is so warm and cozy. Let's go home early and kiss there instead!"
"What about the pen..?"
ADA!dazai again but he's a big arrogant meanie tbh!!
"Why don't you just tell me what you want, pretty," Dazai's thumb traces your bottom lip, hand cupping your jaw. "No need to play these games, hm?"
"I told you, I didn't take your report," you roll your eyes, arms crossed.
A condescending cooing escapes Dazai's lips that makes your eye twitch. "Babe, I know you just want a kiss from me. I'll give it to you if you give me my report back... In fact, maybe I can give you more,~" he purrs into your ear.
You brush off his touches, clearly unamused. "I didn't. Take. Your report."
"Playing hard to get won't get you want you want. C'mon... it's the only report I've finished," he moves on to pouting, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. "Kunikida said he'd make me a coffee if I got it done on time."
"You're 22, why do you need incentives to do your job anyway?" You roll your eyes.
"Baby, we both know I want a kiss as well. Just hand me the report and my lips are all yours. Or else, I'll have to spend time working on redoing it instead of next to you," he tries once again.
And once again, your eye twitches, fed up with his accusations. "I told you— "
"Uh, Dazai..?" Atsushi timidly speaks up. "Is this the report you're talking about?" He holds up a piece of paper, barely legible chicken scratch covering the blank spaces.
"Ah, Atsushi! You're such a kind soul! I must've accidentally slipped it in with your pile when pushing the rest of my reports onto— eh, never mind. You're a life saver!" Dazai jumps onto Atsushi with a hug before snatching the report to show you. "Look, love! Atsushi found it!"
Tapping your foot in annoyance, you stare down at Dazai, which he didn't think was possible given his large stature. "I'm sleeping alone tonight, aren't I."
"I'll make sure to leave blankets on the couch for you."