Excerpt From A Book I'll Never Write - Blog Posts

Our late night conversations show me who you really are. You aren't just the tough boy that I've come to love, you are a hopeless romantic deep down. And when it's 2 am and we both can't sleep we show each other just how much we truly love each other.

I think I'm in love

You make waking up something to be excited about. Because waking up means I get to see you again.

My reason to live #1

My worst nightmare is waking up to you not next to me. That you will fall out of love. That all of the little things I do will start to annoy you. My worst nightmare is being there when you kiss another girl. That everything about us was a lie. My worst nightmare is watching you walk out on what we had.

Losing you is my biggest fear

I feel the safest when I'm wrapped up in your arms. The comedy show is just a background noise to the sound of your heart beat as I lay my head on your chest. Your arms feel so strong and your breaths remind that this is real. That I am here and you are with me, and that you are the one who makes me feel safe.

I spent the whole day with you

A sleepless night isn't as bad as it could be when I am talking with you.

2 am Thoughts

I thought you weren't coming back, so I gave up hoping you would. I gave up because someone like me doesn't just become friends with someone like you. Someone of your caliber would go to someone much more deserving and not already gone.

Inside the Artist #6

This feeling, what is it? Puppy love? A school boy crush? I hope not, I want this feeling to last. This feeling of belonging right where I am and not having to prove myself to get here. I want this to last, I want this to last. I want this peace to keep flowing over me, I want to feel like I am nothing. Because that is what I feel is going to be my escape when everything comes crashing down around me. Because you'll still be here, and I'll still be me.

Inside the Artist #5

It's fine. I'm used to being alone.

2 am Thoughts

I don't know what happened for fate, or destiny, or maybe just sheer coincidence, to push us together, but I have a feeling that whatever happens from here will only strengthen the nonexistent bond that we have yet to form.

Inside the Artist #4

Maybe it was just the lighting with the trees and the half hidden sun, but I swear, you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. And you wanted to sit next to me. Unbelievable.

Inside the Artist #3

    I want to see the world through your eyes. I want to know what it is like to be unnoticed, to know how the wind can feel without running through it. I want to see how you see me, not as what everyone wants me to be, but just as I am. Just as me.

Inside the Artist #2

It's so close. But why can't I touch it? My fingers  just barely graze the surface, but they can't hold onto the feeling. I can't keep my eyes shut forever. I want to. I want to grab onto my oblivion and never let it go.

Inside the Artist #1

Did I ever matter to you? Or was I just the end game? A prize? I went into this relationship thinking I'd feel more loved than used.

I guess I was wrong about a lot of things

How can you think I’m the most beautiful creature you've ever seen? I still can’t look myself in the eye in front of the mirror.

I’m starting to believe you

If you’re just a dream then I don’t want to wake up.

This can’t be a nightmare

I thought I'd be fine when you decided to leave. But here I am in a puddle of my own tears and trying to figure out to turn off these damned things called emotions.

2 AM Thoughts

I hate myself because no one has ever cared enough to teach me why I should love it.

Then I met you

Being happy hurts. It’s one truth of the world no one wishes to speak about. Being happy doesn’t allow for sadness. Being happy doesn’t allow for others to help you. And lord forbid that you actually say that you aren’t ‘happy’.

“But you have a such a good life”

How to get the guy. A five step guide. Easy to follow instructions. Results may include but are not guaranteed to include butterflies in stomach, hypocrisy, fake laughs, fake smiles, jealousy, greed, true love, and a broken heart.

Is it really worth it