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Hope is resilience, and it is fucking tough. I was talking with a friend about how if you expect the worst, don't let yourself be hopeful, you feel protected and strong, but it is fake. My friend was telling me that he tends to think: "If I know in advance that it was going to be shitty and horrible, I'm no fool, I was right." But then he realized: "Wait, why am I happy to be right about that? This is shitty and horrible!"
Being negative and in a "I'm no fool" mindset feels safe but actually does not protect from harm. It comes from fear. As my friend concluded: "Being hopeful and open is actually the brave thing to do. And I don't want to be a wimp."
don't give up