But I Don't Think I Could Deal With The Sheer. Loudness. - Blog Posts

twst first-years as your roommate!

♯— what if you were roommates? sebek, jack, ace, jack, epel ortho. ortho’s = strictly platonic

cw: gn!reader, crack & fluff, pining, sfw, unedited.

notes: i’m just emptying my drafts. i think sebek is funny and i love him so much but i would NEVER live with him… likes and reblogs are appreciated!!!!

𖧷 sebek zigvolt

• “malleus, oh malleus! you are truly illustrious, and above all benevolent! i pledge my life to you! I KNEEL BEFORE YOU MY KING!!”

• new drinking game. take a shot every time sebek says malleus

• you wake up every morning to sebek chanting to his malleus portrait like he’s truly standing with you in your room. you don’t need an alarm clock when you have him bellowing at 5AM. you press your pillow against your ears but to no avail. you can still hear him, he’s that loud!!

• he literally kneels down to the painting as if he’s getting a knighthood (he’s practicing for the future, okay?)

• tells you that you should also join him and prostrate yourself before his lord… if you tell him to shut up he will look at you with an incredulous expression as though you’re the crazy one. are you silencing him, and in association, lord malleus? your insolence besmirches you!

• if it gets too much for you he starts whispering aggressively instead, offended: “FINE.. ( •̀ - •́ )”

• sebek spends a long time getting ready. so if you’re running late in the morning, you’ll want to beat him to the bathroom.

• it’s because of his hair... he’s styling that thing with an abundance of gel. your bathroom cupboards have so many products for his hair there’s literally nowhere for you to put your things.

• it’s crazy because he would look so much better with his hair down. when you tell him that he refuses to believe it, stating that all the elderly in briar valley love his current hairstyle.

• he wastes 10 minutes alone hyping himself up in front of the mirror. flexing his muscles, practicing his smile, dimpling his cheek with his fangs. he rehearses saying “salutations, lord malleus!” or “hello, dear human!” but if you catch him in the act he’ll deny deny deny as a pink bursts across his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

• he’s a bookworm, and that’s probably when he’s the quietest. yes, he’s quieter with his nose in a book than he is sleeping because he’s a sleep talker.

• ⇈ if you’re interested, sebek will recommend you some good pieces of literature!! he’s also really helpful if you need help with similar things in class. he annotates his books neatly with sticky-notes and highlighters, so if you ask nicely he might be gracious enough to let you skim over his hard work.

• in return, if you’re good at subjects like maths, please assist him. numbers and him are like oil and water—they just don’t mix. he’ll be so grateful, he might humbly tell you a story of malleus’ childhood

• you have to save sebek from lilia’s antics. he once told sebek balancing books on his head whilst sleeping standing up would help him become more resilient, so at night he would just be standing in the corner of your room… menacingly... it was honestly frightening.

• you thought he’d fall over and crash onto his desk, having to physically drag him to his bed and tuck him gently each time he tried. he never once made it through the night. yes, he tried several times.

• pretends the whole situation never happened. it was his lowest point.

• sebek always makes sure you’re eating well, since he’s a big eater himself. when he’s feeling particularly chivalrous, he’ll get himself extra food just to lend you some, a coy smirk playing against his lips when you thank him.

𖧷 ace trappola

• ace has a basketball hoop on his side of the room. he likes to practice his trickshots often, so he’s probably hit you several times with it when he misses. which is often.

• imagine you’re just walking into your room after a long day and—thwack!—you’re getting knocked out. he will laugh at you before pulling you up and making sure you’re actually okay. i’d be worried he has a vendetta against you or something.

• ⇈ says “it’s your fault for standing there”, pressing a hand against the point of impact tenderly.

• standing where??? in your own room??? where it’s supposed to be SAFE???

• makes a mess all the time in the bathroom. probably leaves toothpaste in the sink and water on the floor. he’s going to make you have wet socks and then he’ll roll his eyes when you complain.

• you have to push him to clean it as he feigns innocence. “maybe it was you and you’re just blaming me!” “just clean the toothpaste, ace!”

• he flicks tap water in your face.

• when it comes to doing laundry he makes you play card games with him. whoever wins has to deal with it. he is a cheater and proud! he’s doing whatever he can to win and grinning like the chesire cat the whole time as if you’re not already aware of what he’s up to.

• you have to force him to do his homework. he just so happens to always forget. but wait! you’re here! you’re instantly now his study buddy regardless of whether you wanted to or not. it doesn’t matter how smart you are, he’s always trying to copy your answers.

• when it’s late at night and he can’t sleep, he’s texting: ‘u up?’ to check if you’re the same. if you don’t reply he literally pads up to your bed and looms over you. he puts his face inches close to your yours and whispers your name because he never believes that you’re truly sleeping.

• brace yourself for a lot of late-night kitchen runs. he’s grabbing your hand and racing with you down the halls, telling you to hush and pressing a finger to his lips when he’s the one stomping and giggling outside riddle’s room.

• don’t worry, he doesn’t eat anything he knows is his housewarden’s. he doesn’t try to get collared, you know. then he practically steals someone else’s lunch (the ‘someone else’ in question being deuce) and then shares it with you.

• you get caught every time, ace’s stomping waking riddle up. he doesn’t even attempt to protect you, claiming it’s not stealing because it’s going to a good cause—your ‘date’.

• he’s only ever joking about the date thing. he just likes seeing your reaction.

• …but if he wasn’t joking, hypothetically… would you agree it’s a date?

𖧷 deuce spade

• he’s trying so hard to be a good roommate to you. he really is!

• at first, he tries to impress you with his full bookshelf. in an attempt to turn over a new leaf, he borrowed a ton of magic related from the library but he’s only read one

• every time you walked into the room he frantically grabbed a book from his shelf and opened it, placing a finger on his chin to suggest that he was deep in thought.

• “what’s gotten you so interested, deuce?” “oh it’s nothing. just a book about…psychology and stuff. really emotional. yeah.”

• intrigued, you approached his side only to find out he’s reading a children’s picture book. upside down.

• each time he thinks back to that moment he is filled with so much shame. whenever you bring it up he slaps a hand to your mouth with a shout, overly flustered. he’s always been honest about himself after that.

• he’s another messy guy. overall? he’s clean—but when he eats he leaves a lot of crumbs behind on his bed and himself. you have the urge to wipe them from his cheeks all the time. this could be reiterated for all the first-years except ortho, though.

• deuce excitedly shows you pictures of the latest blastcylces (he has posters all over his side of the room) and tells you all about his bleached hair days. he even lets you try on his blastcycle helmet and jersey. has a picture of you in it and treasures it as ‘a reminder to not go rouge again’

• you study together but the pair of you always get distracted by having silly little side conversations. one second you’re talking about pythagoras; the next, it’s a passionate discussion about what animal you’d be if you were reincarnated in another life.

• he moves around in his sleep a lot. he goes to sleep spread out like a starfish and ends up on the floor, bedsheets half-on him and the worst bed-head ever.

• you have to fix his hair in the mornings for him. he’ll barely be awake, sleep still in his eyes as you’re patting his head to keep the stray hairs at bay. he’ll lean into your touch but he won’t remember doing it till halfway through the day.

• ⇈ he’ll just be in the middle of flight class, randomly think about the proximity of your faces, then almost falls off his broom. ace laughs till he cries.

• when he comes to your room wounded he appreciates how you ask him if he’s okay before asking what happened. when it’s the other way around, he always rechecks your state even though the school doctor patched you up fine and deemed you well enough.

• he calls his mother often to make sure she’s okay, and you’ve gotten more than acquainted with her.

• she loves you and thinks you’re a great influence for deuce. she’s even happier that he’s made some friends!! she’s always gushing about how she’s proud of him, or asking you to come over with in the holidays.

• “deuce, when you come home bring your lovely friend okay? i like them.”

• he agrees without hesitation, because he can’t deny her wishes—and he likes you, too.

𖧷 jack howl

• your room either smells like sweat and the mens body spray he uses or caramel scented candles that he swears his younger brother and sister bought for him.

• it’s mostly the second option, because jack is good with hygiene and also doesn’t want to make things uncomfortable for you. (his side of the room is very clean, and he takes pride in that, so if yours isn’t he’ll tell you to fix up very bluntly.)

• he’s very perceptive and values personal space, so he’s thoroughly checking to make sure you’re comfortable. will give you space and alone time if you need it.

• he’s got ‘motivational workout quotes’ framed and hung up on his side of the room

• gives you a similar one for your birthday, in order to give you motivation for the rest of the school year. he’s given one to all the first years, even ortho, so you’re not special or anything.

• yours is just slightly bigger.

• from far away it looks aesthetically pleasing, contrasting nicely with all the greenery from the plants he’s raising (he’s a plant mom)

• then you get closer and read: “Train The Quit Out Of You.” “Single Taken At The Gym.” “In This House, Only Hard Work Matters.”

• he goes on morning runs, so he’s out before you can even open your eyes. sometimes, he leaves you notes behind wishing you a good day, since he’s not much of a texter even though you’ve exchanged numbers. sometimes you’ll find notes around the house just saying some words of encouragement.

• if you’re awake, he might ask you to join him. but it ends up being him running out of earshot so fast you lose sight of him. he’ll be running back as you’re still on the first stretch, out of breath. he’ll try his best to wait for you to catch up, though…

• ⇈ you might not enjoy it as much as he is but he’ll be really thankful that you came along anyway. you don’t even have to run if you don’t want to, just sitting and watching him somehow gives him a newfound burst of energy.

• as a reward for sticking with him, he’ll make sure you’re well fed. not that he doesn’t do that already; jack sits next to you, the two of you sharing a plate of breakfast together as the other first-years just share a look like (·•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )?

• you often find him talking to his cacti. his tone is so soft it’s endearing, conversing as though they’d speak back before watering them. in fact, you find out more from him speaking to the succulents than you do when he’s actually talking to you.

• it’s not that he doesn’t talk to you. he does!! but the conversations are always short because he’s too busy trying to hide the wag of his tail and twitch of of his ears.

• you speak to his cacti, because if jack truly believes it will benefit them you also want to help. he’s so fond of them. when he finds out you’ve been doing so, he tells you that he’s sure they’re standing stronger and looking healthier because of you <3

• he lets you name them

• Congratulations. you are both now Plant Parents.

• it might take a lot of convincing but if you can get him to cuddle with you in his wolf form you will get the best sleep ever. he’s super fluffy, which makes him really cosy to lean on and snuggle up to.

• ⇈ but you both tend to oversleep and end up late for classes whenever you do it. jack scolds you for it because he doesn’t want to be a troublesome student, but he won’t deny you when you ask again.

• everyone’s convinced you’re dating.

𖧷 epel felmier

• why are there apples everywhere

• the saying ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’ doesn’t apply to you! an apple a day is bringing you closer to the doctor. (epel has boxes of apples for his carvings. they’re overflowing, causing apples to spill out onto your floor creating a trip hazard.)

• he seriously doesn’t mean to make mess but the apples just keep on coming! at this point you both have enough apples to keep you going for at least a good few months—but you’re not a allowed to eat them.

• okay, fine, you can have one… or two..

• pomefiore’s bedtime is 10pm, so both of you share the struggle of hiding that you’re awake. you’re both chuckling under your own bedcovers, messaging each other on your phones with your brightness at the lowest setting: ‘is he gone yet? u check’

• vil will be standing in the doorway, hands on his hips waiting for you to peek your heads up. he knows what you’re doing.

• you keep doing it anyway until vil threatens to split you up.

• the two of you will try to stay up till early hours of the morning doing anything and everything. on one occasion you tried to juggle with apples, ending up hitting yourselves in the faces. it left marks.

• plenty of times you’ll send epel a funny video of something or the other and he’ll double over in laughter, wheezing so loudly you’re sure everyone can hear you. your phones get confiscated for a week.

• he’s on his best behaviour now, he swears! and you are too—you know vil only sets specific guidelines for you to follow because it will benefit you both in the long run.

• if you’re injured, epel will tend to your wounds skilfully. he’s been in more than a few accidents being a wild child, and also knows a lot about medicinal herbs and magic pharmacy. arguably does a better job than school staff.

• when he’s injured, he’s rushing back to show them off to you like battle scars. look at the the one on his knee, quick! he stood his ground and won, isn’t he cool? (it’s absolutely tiny and will definitely fade away. he wants to be leona so bad)

• he always lets you see the process of his apple carving and even gives you lessons. he’s delighted that he gets to teach someone something he learned back in his hometown—it’s not much of a big deal, but whenever someone shows interest in it, his chest puffs with pride.

• and when it’s you specifically complimenting him and harveston, he’s super smitten.

𖧷 ortho shroud

• ortho is only just finding out about himself, exploring his tastes and developing his own opinion. (he’s really glad he can share these self-discoveries with you!)

• idia is Not Happy that his brother is being stolen off him, but wishes ortho well nonetheless.

• you will never be late to class from now on because he will wake you up on time. and don’t think about skipping or faking illness, because ortho can see right through you.

• asks how your day has been after school because he genuinely cares. he wants to know everything! school is just so fun to him. he’s so happy about going to class that you start to feel guilty for dreading them. he’ll tell you about his day too, very elaborately. you might be sitting and listening for a while because ortho does not miss a single detail.

• ⇈ you somehow end up finding out what scarabia resident B did last summer with his family, though you’re sure it had no relevance to ortho’s magic history class at all?

• asks you to take pictures of him around your room, literally even if it’s a mundane activity. half of your camera roll is just images of ortho studying. he also wants to take lots of pictures with you, so he can keep the memories he spent his first real roommate fresh in his mind forever, so say cheese!

• you make a bucket list together so he can check things off along the course of his life. you take him out to places he wants to go, and he helps you in return. need questions answered? he’s got the best results at the fastest speeds. hungry? he’s flying off to sam’s store. your preferences are already stored in his memory system, so expect something yummy when he returns!

• he gets very attached to you very quickly, and perhaps even a little protective. if you’re ever going to do anything reckless ortho is sitting you down and telling you the pros and cons, success to failure ratio and extra precautions you should take.

• as he’s only ever lived with his brother and never really had friends for himself, ortho is still used to idia’s social recluse/anxious ways. you could be ordering over the phone and if the person on the other end of the line mishears you ortho is suddenly speaking up for you very angrily.

ortho: excuse me they asked for NO. PICKLES. 😡😡

• introverts love him. fast food branch owners fear him. the ice cream machines won’t be ‘broken’ on ortho’s watch.

• if someone’s bothering you, just tell him. he won’t hesitate to dox a bully or two online. he learned from the best. NOT afraid to resort to physical attacks. has a high-intensity laser beam ready to fire whenever you need it.

• ortho is not rainbows and sunshine all the time. he’s a nrc student, after all.