Average American Experience (if This Is In The Us) - Blog Posts

I went to kind of a sketchy high school

So when I was a kid, my parents split, and I ended up going with my mom to live in a different town so she could be closer to work. I was hoping to go to the same high school as my friends, but where we moved was an entirely different school district (and would've been too far to drive anyway), so I had to just settle for staying in touch online.

This new school though, I had no idea what tf was going on. The building was what I can only describe as "run down." The teachers were arguably more absent than the students, just completely checked out and totally surrendered to the chaos that the students created on a near daily basis.

As for the students, I for the life of me could not understand what they were saying. I don't know if it was their accent but I just could not parse it at all -- all I could do was stare in confusion when they tried to talk to me. Sometimes I'd think they asked me a question and nod, much to their chagrin.

So anyway, this one time I realized that I forgot my pencil and eraser in their case at home. Not that I usually needed it at that place, but I liked to be thorough and prepared. I went up to this one kid who looked relatively friendly and tapped him on the shoulder, wanting to ask him if he had a spare writing utensil I could borrow. And he turns around.

And

No kidding

He has a gun.

This kid has a gun. It's not even a little derringer or a pistol or anything, it's pretty BIG. But that's not even the strangest thing he's holding

I look at his other hand and he's got 2 microphones. He tosses one to me and I catch it, scared out of my mind. Then he raises his microphone to his face and goes:

"BA WA WA WA WA WA"

and looks at me expectantly.

I stare back, stunned in primal fear.

He repeats, once again going:

"BA WA WA WA WA WA"

Into the mic he's holding and looks at me. So, taking a guessing at what he wants me to do, I force my trembling hands to raise the mic he tossed me to my face and say back into it:

"b-ba wa wa w-wa wa wa"

I fucking hated that school, dude.