Demetri:...why do I feel like I'm about to get jumpsca-
Sam, dropping down from the cieling: DEMETRI.
Demetri: GAH!
Sam: I found out how to beat Tory!
Demetri: Sam, you're one of my dearest friends, but we have got to talk about your Tory obsession.
Sam: Didn't you use my mom's industrial printer to print out a poster of Hawk so you can tape it on your wall?
Demetri:...proceed.
Sam: Tory and I have been on equal footing up until now, but the biggest advantage she has over me isn't skill, it's height.
Demetri:...huh?
Sam, grabbing Demetri's shoulders: God has foresaken me with my father's genetics, so it's time to level the playing field. That's where you come in.
Demetri: How the hell am I going to-you're gonna sit on my shoulders.
Sam: I'm gonna sit on your shoulders.
Demetri: Yeah, no, this is just asinine. I'm not letting you-
Sam: You remember when she pressured Hawk to break your arm?
Demetri:....
five minutes later
Tory working her seventeenth job: Why do I hear boss music?
Samtory AU where Sam is obsessed with Tory but in a “our rivalry is sacred and I despise you but our competition drives me to better myself in ways I never even dreamed of before also I kind of want to kiss you”
Sam: I have to defeat her, but how? She’s too strong, too skilled, too hot, too smart, too hot-
Miguel: You said hot twice.
Sam:…I mean, yeah, look at her? Are you blind?
______
Daniel: Sam, you might have a problem.
Sam, standing in the middle of her room that she covered with pictures of Tory: Whatever do you mean, father?
Daniel: What do I-I mean all of this!
Sam: Oh, I’m just getting locked in for the tournament by focusing on my greatest adversary.
Daniel, pointing at the punching bag covered top to bottom in Tory’s headshots: and what about that?
Sam:…image training?
“Binary Brothers Forever” SHUT THE FUCK UP AND KISS ALREADY RAAAGH
cobra kai writers this is your last chance
Holeth moleth guys
I don’t hate Byler in the slightest, what I hate is that 75% of the time Will himself is being talked about, it’s in relation to Byler. Will Byers is more than Byler.
Came up with more lyrics for an upcoming song in Cobra Kai The Musical, try to guess who’s singing them
Is this the end of an era?
Is this the end of my spark?
Uncertainty plagues, whatever remains
And creeps through the cracks on my heart
Is this the start of new age
Is this the beginning of something new?
And does it start with me walking away from you?
Oh wow, this is WAY less subtle with subtitles 😭
Say you're homophobic without actually saying you're homophobic
Fuck you lady
FANDOMS FOR PALESTINE
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If I end up writing a musical episode for Simply Miraculous (which is highly likely), someone’s gonna sing Loser, Baby whether you like it or not
I’ve actually started, y’know, writing that Cobra Kai rewrite-parody fic I brought up half a year ago so here’s a dialogue I came up with for way later in the game:
Tory: I heard you let me come back to school, so I guess I should apologize-
Sam, coyly: Apologize? Whatever for?
Tory: Look, if you’re gonna be like this, then-
Sam: For the first time you assaulted me? For the nightmares you gave me that centered around you breaking into my house to finish me off? Or, is it for the time you actually did that verbatim?
Tory, slightly uncomfortable: I mean…all of that, yeah-
Sam: Hahahaha. *stops smiling* Let’s get one thing straight, buttercup. I only let you come back here for two reasons. Because my parents wanted me to be the bigger person, and because I want my rematch. With no distractions, no secret weapons, no gang to back you up, one on one, on the mat, to the book. But if you come at me, hell, if you even look at me the wrong way before then, I will smite where you stand and then send your ass packing straight back to wherever you came from. Got it?
Tory: *takes a deep breath*….I’m sorry, I could fit you in my pockets, I can’t be afraid of you.
Sam: COUNT YOUR DAYS BITCH. *disappears*
I think I willed it into existence
Elimoon is going to have a respectful breakup where they realize they are not each other’s true loves and are much better as friends, remaining close even though it’s platonic love they share instead of romantic.
Yasmetri is going to crash and burn, setting fire to several city blocks in the process, resulting in beef that lasts for YEARS before one of them decides to at least try and make amends (probably Demetri, but you’ll be damned if you think he’s not gonna be as annoying as possible about it).
How it feels going on Cobra Kai AO3 and trying to weed through all the porn to find good fics