Smth Smth Bsd’s Recurring Theme Of Your Past Not Defining Who You Are But Facing Your Past Being Necessary

Just curious

I'm starting to think that Atsushi's real character arc is him slowly becoming more and more ok with murder.

A cute detail I love about the Agency's office is that everyone else's desks have files and laptops on it while Ranpo's just has a singular phone because it's the only thing he needs to do his job; get calls and go detective. And then come home and snack

(Ranpo's desk is the one in the center)

"Atsushi is a cinnamon roll ray of sunshine."

WRONG.

Atsushi is a little sass who would do anything he needs to in order to survive. He saved dazai (when he intended to rob him )and then was upset he wouldn't thank him.

He shoved over the trash can in the second episode and basically told dazai to khs.

He had knowledge of the future, a future where four million people were going to die, and deliberately used that knowledge just to mess with Dazai because he could.

He will call you out on your flaws and judge you for them. Sure he's nice and a people pleaser a lot of the time, but inside, he's a little judgy sass and we love him all the more for it.

Chuuya's wardrobe and how it changes over the years truly is everything to me. He's on the streets, he wears a hoodie, a biker jacket covering the hoodie, and jeans. He joins the mafia and gets a hat. He immediately gets a fancy outfit to accommodate said fancy hat. He loses the hat, and then he wears the standard suit, but different, cuz he's Like That™. Then it's back to the hat, but also back to the biker jacket. Then it's the fancy outfit. Then it's a fancy biker jacket. Seriously, his wardrobe is such a perfect representation of his character. I love him.

Love resurfacing to ask a stupid, inconsequential question but

I have a theory about why Chuuya goes by his first name, as opposed to most other people. Because even in the manga, where characters like Fyodor, Nikolai, and Lucy are generally referred to by their surnames, Chuuya goes by his given name in both the manga and anime. *Stormbringer Spoilers*

First of all, when he was fifteen, he likely went by his first name because he was surrounded by friends, by the people who raised him, and going by something like a family name would be distant and unnatural, and likely not something Chuuya would push. So when he met Dazai, he was still immature enough to go only by his given name, and he probably doesn't bother enforcing it when he joined the Mafia either.

But. After the events of Stormbringer and when Chuuya grows up, I suspect it was for a different reason. We don't see much of Chuuya after he escapes the military facility, but since he knew how to speak, my guess would be that he knew enough to know his name, even if he couldn't remember much else. Chuuya was his name, given to him by birth, but the name "Nakahara" isn't. That's N's name, the name of the person who kidnapped him, experimented on him, and tortured him. The real Chuuya's surname was actually Kensuke, and I think something similar applies to him in universe as well. When he was taken by N, the name Nakahara was given to him, but the name Chuuya is the one his real parents gave to him, the name he received when he was born, the name that proves his humanity. So he probably chooses to stick with that name, even though he really could insist on being called "Nakahara" because "Chuuya" is the one that's his.

Atsushi Trivia From the Guidebooks

"What color would you compare yourself to?" "White, because my hair is white and it's also the furthest color from Akutagawa."

Man, I love this kid so much

For those of you who may not be too familiar with the manga, during ch39: Portrait of a Father, Akutagawa shows up, as Dazai's informant, to give Atsushi documents about who the orphanage headmaster was and what happened to him.

At that moment, Akutagawa shows an uncharacteristic clemency towards Atsushi, saying that "Atsushi's master died today", and compares this to his own relationship with Dazai.

This was a long time ago now, and a lot has happened since. The Cannibalism arc is right after this, where they are very antagonistic towards each other, and includes this scene:

Akutagawa, despite his bitterness towards Atsushi for who he is to Dazai, has seen how similar they are in this sense. Atsushi hasn't, because his gratefulness towards Dazai prevents him from seeing that Akutagawa's experience was completely different with this same person. (he's also not given any time by the narrative to wonder about it)

but then just came along chapter 122!!!

Atsushi gets to see, 1:1, the relationship between Akutagawa and Dazai. For the first time, Akutagawa is relatable to him.

And of course, at the end, Atsushi calls out the illusion as being the headmaster wearing Dazai's face because we are closing this loop! We are forcing Atsushi to see Akutagawa the same way Akutagawa has been seeing him!

i’m very biased but people acting like atsushi is somehow a bland or unimpressive mc will always be crazy to me because he’s just??? so fucking excellent. i will never get over the way he subverts the classic good guy protagonist trope. his morals being guided not by what society deems right and wrong but by what makes him feel like a good person, and even that can be overridden by his natural inclination to prioritize himself. and we see this from the first chapter. like. hi, my name is atsushi. i love chazuke. i’m going to attack and rob the next person i see, because i’m so hungry. i saved a man from drowning in the river, why isn’t he thanking me? i’ll join his heroic organization even though i don’t want to, because it’s the only way to keep a roof over my head. my two favorite people are ex-mafia members who’ve taken countless lives. my least favorite person is also a mafia member who’s taken countless lives, but it’s different because he’s an asshole to me and my friends. i need kyouka to stay safe, because i care about her, but also because she’s proof that i can help people and that i’m good. today i found out that i killed someone when i was younger, but what did he expect? he hurt me. he deserved it. the man who abused me in childhood died too. he was hit by a truck. it doesn’t matter what his intentions were, because he hurt me. he deserved it. why can’t i stop crying?