'Twas Amazing. He Honored His Adopted Kinslaying Fathers, And It Was Iconic!!!!!!!

EXACTLYYYYYYYYYY

Was anyone else super upset about the tragic fate of Celebrimbor's first age bottle

A cursed thought just occured to me and I decided to make you all suffer to

So in Tolkien lore elves are immortal right? After a certain point they don't age and will just keep living, save for the intervention of accidents, illness/poison, or very pointy objects. This leads to a whole laundry list of questions on biology but there's one in particular I want to bite into today(pun much intended).

Teeth.

How do elf teeth work? Because the main issue with teeth over time is that they wear down with use. This is not as much of a problem in modern times, we are spoiled with a lot of very soft easy to chew food, but it's still a thing and historicaly you wore down your teeth alot over the course of your life. Things like smoking a pipe can carve a grove in your teeth where you hold the pipe stem.

And this means that if you're immortan and alive long enough, your teeth will wear down to nothing because elves do need to eat. But obviously Galadriel and Elrond aren't looking like grandmas who forgot their dentures, so elves must have something to solve this.

I therefor present my 3 running theories for how elves keep their teeth:

- The OP Teeth Of Steel Theory

Elf teeth are simply to strong to wear down. A bit boring if you ask me.

- The Elves Are Rodents Theory

Rodent front teeth grow continiously their entire life, it's realy cool. It's also why they're always chewing on things, because if they don't their teeth will grow so long it stops them from eating. This theory proposes elf teeth also just grow forever(this could lead to a extremely annoying habit of elves to grind their teeth to keep them down, but oh well).

- The Elves Are Sharks Theory

Sharks tackle the problem of teeth by simply?

Growing more teeth?

Like they just keep loosing teeth and growing new ones. For elves this could mean that when a tooth gets to worn it simply falls out and a new one grown in, like human milk teeth but their entire life.

This was all writen in about 10min while getting ready for bed, so please enjoy these lovely cursed thoughts while I escape to dreamland :)

@tathrin

fëanor's eldest sons

Me, donning my shield of faith, breastplate of righteousness, and sword of the Spirit: ah lads, here we go again

My sister: why are you so Bedecked™️ we're literally going to school

Me, putting on my helmet of salvation: BECAUSE

Sister: it keeps going

Me, almost falling over, tugging on the boots of peace: IM GONNA NEED THESE IF I HAVE TO DEAL WITH HOOLIGANS

My white ass when I see a subpar casserole

"come on lightly toasted cheddar cheese fix my ails"

NOOOOOO CRACKER BARREL GOLF PEG GAME I AM NOT AN EG-NA-RAY-MOOSE NOOOOOO PLEASE IM NOT AN IGNORAMUS NOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit

BLWASE AMAZON PLEASEEEEEE NLEASEEEE

I for one am holding space for hot Celeborn

BEAUTIFUL

incredible. LOTR fandom truly NEVER stops giving

( created by stixywixy | video on tiktok )

Dain Aetos? The bitch from the Ironhills? Where'd he get Gil-Galad’s spear???