Dear Expectations, You Are Always There When I Need You The Least. You Make A Simple Task Feel Immensely
Dear Expectations, You are always there when I need you the least. You make a simple task feel immensely impossible. You run my fingers raw while writing a paper, my mind to exhaustion to be absolute perfection, and my body to sleep deprivation in search of a grade no less than what I need to pass. In the search of a way around you, I stand in your shadow, unable to overtake the panic that you make arise in my chest, the pounding that never ceases until after the deadline has passed or my grade sealed in the grave that you have been helping me dig. your shadow isn't big enough to keep me inside, it is not bog enough to harbor the panic and the anxiety that you bring with you wherever you go. Following you like two hungry watch dogs, waiting for me to fall to the ground, to feast upon what is left. While you are there to bring me up when I have to do my best, you bring an illusion of a silver lining making this seem worth it in the slightest sense. For the reward of praise is too much to ask from you when all you deal in deceit and terror.
With no love
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I thought I'd be fine when you decided to leave. But here I am in a puddle of my own tears and trying to figure out to turn off these damned things called emotions.
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When you say we aren't friends while smiling. I know you're lying
I thought I had you, but also knew someone else would take you away just as you came.
-While you ignored me for her
Every minute you're gone, the more vulnerable I feel.
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Look at me! I’m the strongest in the sea. My lungs take in the water like it’s air and send it out with great flair. Look at me! I’m humble like the earth, my arms stretch out to hug the masses as my heart burns what’s left of ashes. Look at me! I’m fluid like the air, moving about without a care, letting those who wrong me pass me by until I’m left alone to die. Look at me. I’m alone like fire. Don’t get too close, I’m a broken wire, threatening to burn and combust into nothing. Look at me. My humble trying and desperate crying did nothing to appease those demons. My heart was burned and left to nothing as I sit here in solemn quiet. Look at me.
Look at what I’ve done
A sleepless night isn't as bad as it could be when I am talking with you.
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You’re worth it right? Please tell me you’re worth it… I don’t want this to be a mistake…
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Maybe it was just the lighting with the trees and the half hidden sun, but I swear, you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. And you wanted to sit next to me. Unbelievable.
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wounded-writing reblogged this · 7 years ago
